Hi, dear friends.
We're back with another edition of the IWSG/Insecure Writer's Support Group, founded by our beloved Alex J. Cavanaugh.
We all know the harsh critic, right? This person suggests major overhaul and offers no positive feedback. They might even go so far as to rip you to shreds in hopes of sabotaging your efforts.
Well, when you're slammed by knife-piercing, soul-crushing critique, accept the criticism for what it is: garbage. Then pick yourself up and turn to nicer, more grounded people for input. Ruthless critics reveal only one thing: they have issues. Don't let them win.
Chef Ramsay's dialogue in red / Robyn in black / Stagehand Macaulay Culkin in blue
I'll now role-model how to interact with a raging critic, Ladies and Gents. For this purpose, I've invited one of the most ruthless of them all, Chef Gordon Ramsay. Yo dude, come on out her, Gore Dung!
Chef Gordon Ramsay walks onto the stage, a raging lunatic. What the f*k is this place? It's rubbish, pure rubbish! And what's all that sh*t all over you, you little f*n midget?
Laughing, Robyn responds: It's Dollar Store chocolate pudding, Gore Dung. What's that? Robyn leans to the side and points towards his rear. What's what?! The thing that's been up your *ss for years? Oh, I don't have time for this nonsense. You're pathetic! You hear me! Pathetic!
Robyn nods at stagehand Macaulay Culkin, who pokes his head out from behind the stage curtains. Naked French Dancers! Macaulay squeals in a playful, high-pitched voice. Naked French Dancers! Where? Chef Ramsay dashes towards the curtains, unknowingly stepping onto a huge fishnet made of miscellaneous drug paraphernalia. Macaulay yanks a long rope attached to the net. Ramsay is snatched up by the net, which soars towards the stage ceiling.
You f*n little runts! I'll f*n sue your f*n *sses! Get me the f*k out of here!
Robyn gives Macaulay a high-five and a Dollar Store chocolate pudding for his efforts.
All in a day's work, she tells him. Best work you've done - the only work you've done - since Home Alone, dude. Nice.