Bacon Hot Chocolate!? The Latest in Chocolate

 Add chocolate, a woman's first love, to bacon, a man's; heat; then drink! Does it work? I had to find out, so I purchased Redneck Cafe's Bacon Hot Chocolate at Cost Plus World Market. It's created and distributed by McSteven's Inc. in Vancouver, Washington. 

  I excitedly poured half of the packet into water, heated it in my microwave, sipped, and...thumbs down. It doesn't work. I tasted more bacon than chocolate and struggled, in fact, to taste chocolate. The bacon flavor wasn't right either - as if it was too fatty, too non-kosher, or had been left on the grill for too long. 

   Next, I mixed the rest with almond milk and heated it. That tasted better, sweeter and creamier. But it still didn't make me smile or sigh ecstatically - as good chocolate-bacon should.

   I'm not saying it's a bad product, and I drank it all, but I suggest that you save your money for a better bacon-chocolate product like the candy bars I reviewed in the past. 

   On a scale of 1 to 10, one being utterly disgusting and ten being orgasmicly divine, I give Redneck Cafe's Bacon Hot Chocolate a 3.5. It was a decent effort, and the package is kinda enticing. It was worth a try - if only for your sake, my dear readers. Wink.

Anyone else ever try bacon hot chocolate? How does it sound?

Have a sweet, tasty week.

Donald Trump visits Life by Chocolate: IWSG

Welcome to 2015's initial gathering of the IWSG. On the first Wednesday of each month, writers throughout blogland share writerly insecurities and offer support. We have beloved Alex J. Cavanaugh to thank for this fantastic group.

I like to shake things up on IWSG days by mocking celebrities, especially rich and stupid ones. When I can make you laugh in the process, all the better. 

We're supposed to introduce ourselves today too. But I've spent hours on this post because the formatting keeps getting messed up and my computer skills suck and I have to get up super early and it's getting super late... Plus you already know me, and I'm sorry for that. So we'll skip to today's guest. He's a scammer and a swindler who's bounced between bankruptcy and extreme wealth, and his hair is fascinating in the worst of ways. He's best known for saying "You're fired." This man's a hair-brained, racist, anti-Semitic idiot. Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a nice, warm welcome to Mr. Donald Trump!

Bold black = Robyn / Green = Trump / Green background = actual Trump quotes

Three young WASP blonde apprentices cheer, as Donald Trump enters the stage. He sits in a high-powered red leather executive chair, while Robyn plops onto a Hello Kitty Bean Bag and munches a $100,000 bar.
Thanks for visiting our studio, even though I couldn't afford you. 
Well, nobody could afford me. I'm worth billions and billions of dollars. I'm very, very, very rich. I'm a multi, multi billionaire.
Yeah, so is it real? Of course it is. He clenches his crotch.All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected.


No, not THAT. Your hair! Is your hair real?

 I founded Trump University--and created the Trump Top 10 List for Amazon.com--to teach entrepreneurs the Trump Way to succeed. No one ever became a champion by training like a bum. If you want to be the best, you have to train like the best. You have to make yourself unstoppable. If you aren't relentless, you'll quickly be less--or even nothing. 

So are you going to run for President? Because I don't want to start a political discussion on this stage, but you do unify all parties by giving us someone to laugh at.

His hairs dance wildly in all directions.

Whoa! That can't be real. Right? Look lady, I don't know what you're talking about, but Anyone who thinks my story is anywhere near over is sadly mistaken. The point is you can't be too greedy. A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. 

I think we've heard enough.

Both irritated, Trump and Robyn look at each other and say, simultaneously, "You're fired!" Trump's hair flies off his head and towards the back of the stage. He scurries to retrieve it. Robyn waves at the camera and we cut to a commercial about Rogaine.

New Year's and Beyond with George

Hello, my friends.
How was your New Year's?

George and I --still going strong after eight weeks, but who's counting?--spent New Year's Eve together.

Italian dinner was prepared by a little Jewish woman,* master of one and only one main dish [cheese-spinach manicotti]. *pointing at self*.

We sipped a bit of wine too. Then we...slept together. Actually, I fell asleep. "It's midnight," he whispered. I pushed myself up and out of a snuggle position on the couch. We stepped outside to watch all of the fireworks that we'd been hearing for hours. We saw none. George and I stepped back in and went to sleep. When did it get so difficult, and mean so little, to stay up past midnight on NYE?

I'm thinking George is a good one. Unlike other men I've written about, he's literate.

He appreciates fine art.

wiener painting at the best Wurst place in CA. It's in Healdsburg - a quaint, upscale artsy community in Sonoma County. We recently visited on a day trip.



Plus, George doesn't do stupid or crazy things, but he likes to watch.

On New Year's Day, hundreds of locals plunge into the near freezing (36 degrees F) waters at Bidwell park, just for fun. This "Polar Plunge" is kinda cool and really cold. George and I watched and laughed.

A SAFE, HAPPY, LAUGH & LOVE FILLED 2015 TO YOU, from me and George!