And I Wrote This Book.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Martha Stewart's Racy Red Raunchy Regale Reveals Third Hand: A-Z Challenge

Sometimes I like to sex it up with Martha Stewart's Racy Red Raunchy Regale that Reveals a third hand protrusion from the right breast (which is actually my left breast, but "right" starts with r, and it's on the right side from your vantage point). I like to spend a quiet afternoon dressed as so-- twerking, thrusting, and gyrating while tossing a nice fresh garden salad and manipulating a hand-held egg-beater. This regale costume comes with the third hand protrusion for no extra fee. It's really quite a bargain at $6969. Ta ta and tootles!

39 comments:

  1. The "third hand protrusion" is a must for any outfit. Cousin It must really be strapped for cash. Actually, Martha probably straps him on when her Maximizer Member is at the mikvah.

    Julie

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    1. Heehee, how do you think of these things, Julie? That'd be a steamy, non-kosher mikvah.

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    2. oops...I made a huge mistake when I referred to her third hand as Cousin It on The Addams Family. Cousin It was that furry creature, while the hand was known as "Thing." I couldn't go to sleep until I righted this wrong.

      Julie

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  2. Two R words come to mind. Rancid, and retch.
    Oh, and ridiculously priced. (Ok, I can't count.)

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    1. Regardless, you're right on the money, as always, EC.

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  3. Not sure she'll find anyone to give her a hand, third or otherwise.

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    1. She's hoping for a different body part, Pat.

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  4. Replies
    1. Glad you caught that. I was kinda obvious, I thought, but you're the only one who commented. Smiles.

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  5. Martha does all that and twerking too! What a marvel.

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  6. That third hand is really freaky.

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  7. Replies
    1. It's been trying to reach for her nether regions, but it only gets to her belly button.

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  8. It's sad how long it took me to find the right hand protrusion.

    That's a pretty steep price tag, and I'd have more than a hand protruding, so I will pass on this little number.

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    1. That's funny. But it is a natural protrusion, almost as if her survival depends upon it.

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  9. I wonder if Martha would be willing to include a FREE hand-held egg-beater? If so, I'm in.

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    1. Sorry, DC. She's really attached to her egg-beaters.

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  10. I was betting on the use of the word raunchy, but that is almost redundant for this whole Martha theme. Funny!

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  11. If Arnold thinks it's great, well then, who am I to argue?

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  12. Arnie approves of this woman? What did she let him do to her?

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    1. Just a little groping of the hand, GB. But he'll be back.

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  13. I bet that hand came in handy in High School. "Have you been down her top?" "Yeah, and believe me..."

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    1. "Dude, I felt her up and handcuffed her at the same time."

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  14. The last thing anyone wants to see is twerking from her. Or maybe not-she might throw out a hip and that would be funny:) Now is that price in old fashioned Italian Lira??

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    1. It might be, Birgit. All I can tell you is that Martha really wanted to say 69.

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  15. Do you have lay-a-way or a payment plan?

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    1. Yes, Martha is really into lay-aways, Stephen. She told me to ask you where and when.

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  16. Martha and Miley could be cousins (or they swap wardrobes).

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  17. It would be an upgrade if Miley started to wear clothes, even if it's Martie's.

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  18. Oh yeah, that's so cheap!! I'd totally get that. Or not...

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