And I Wrote This Book.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Martha Stewart's Oprah Organizer: A-Z Challenge

Well, I couldn't think of any sexual experiences starting with "O", so I crafted a more innocent item. It's the Oprah Organizer. This delightful organizer comes with compartments of various sizes and colors. As a bonus, a mini-Oprah doll is attached. You can pad her clothes to watch her enlarge instantly like the real thing. Plus the compartments make for handy storage space for precious items like diamond earrings, insider trading secrets, KY Lubricant, and hashish. Some people think I'm a White racist elite *bleep.* This Oprah Organizer proves them wrong. Why would a bigot create a product with a miniature -- what's the term? -- brown American Afro? I like diversification. Tootles!

53 comments:

  1. Interesting that she is unfamiliar with the word orgasm. I am grateful though. I shudder (and not in a sexual way) to think what she could do with it.

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    1. We're on the same wavelength here!

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    2. I imagine it'd look something like a beast suddenly attacked by Tourette tics and a major seizure whilst attempting to prettily mix a salad and tie a pink ribbon to the guy's penile shaft.

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  2. I go one for you. How about... "O shit, another day with Martha, and you wanna add Oprah to the mix?"

    Alright, how much does it cost? I'll take two.

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    1. Haha. Oh, I dunno. I'll take one dollar, cuz really, how much could it sell for on craigslist?

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  3. I was thinking the "Big O" for your post and I was right, you are sharing Oprah. She is one of the most well-known talented celebs out there... Martha would be sure to capitalize on that fame.

    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2015]

    There's no earthly way of knowing.
    Which direction we are going!

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    Come Visit: You know you want to know if me or Hollywood... is Nuts?

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    1. Oh yeah, Martha's plenty jealous of the big O.

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  4. OK, I am cracking up at the thought of padding Oprah's clothes to make her enlarge instantly. It seriously seems like she does that! POOF

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    1. Right? She goes from semi-slender to whale-form overnight.

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  5. Oprah Stewart. So another network hits the airwaves. The 'OS' network? Or 'SO' as in, So this is stupid!

    Bushman
    2015 A to Z Challenge Ambassador
    @jwb81074

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    1. Oprah Stewart, OS, SO - very clever, Jeff. Or Martha Winfrey...MW. Nah, SO this is stupid. We're sticking with that.

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  6. I almost feel badly for Martha, the poor women has never had an "O" :(

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    1. She thinks an orgasm is an instrument, Rhonda. What a clueless buffoon.

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  7. Oooh I need that organizer. lol

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  8. Replies
    1. Alex, you keep making me laugh. I love it! Thanks.

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  9. BAHAHAHA! You come up with the craziest things. Says, good Martha.

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    1. Bad Martha doesn't find this crazy at all, just very practical, Good Martha.

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  10. So glad O wasn't for Organ, as in the one no one wants to share with her

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    1. I didn't even think of that, Pat. Maybe for next year's O.

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  11. "Mini" and "Oprah" do not belong in the same sentence.
    My, that was unkind.
    Sorry.
    No sexual experiences starting with "O?" really?
    What about "Ocarina?"
    Yeah, probably didn't see that coming, huh?

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    1. Can't said I've had an Ocarina, Al. If it's anything like an "Ay Caramba!" I've been missing out.

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    2. Ovaltine?
      Extra credit (for really nothing) if you can guess from which movie that line came (one of my favorite movies).
      NOTE: Not 'A Christmas Story.' Although I like that one, too.

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    3. Stand By Me? Nah, I'm sure it's not right; I just associate you with that movie. ET? Killer Clowns from Outer Space? I give up, Al. Please tell.

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  12. I notice Oprah herself did not make a guest appearance. Wise woman, that's for sure.

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    1. She's got more important things to do, like tweezing her bikini line. Eww, that's a gross image. Sorry.

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  13. I like Elephant Child's comment!

    Interesting that there's such a thing as an Oprah Organizer, complete with an Oprah doll.

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    1. Her comments are the best. She sets the bar high.
      Thanks, Sherry.

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  14. Martha's mouth is so big I am surprised she was not thinking oral but maybe she had think of someone else as well and so it never occurred to her. Poor Oprah...at least her magazine can make her look anyway she chooses to be...except real

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    1. And yet she still doesn't choose a body double. Come to think of it, Oprah's not so bright either.

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  15. That Martha is so crafty! It seems like she can create almost anything out of thin air!

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    1. And that's why she's America's sweetheart. Yikes. That pained me to type.

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  16. You've given new meaning to the Big O. Why doesn't it surprise me that MS likes to play with dolls???

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    1. Little brown American Afro dolls that resemble Oprah, at that.

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  17. Hmmm, "orgasm" just didn't leap to mind, eh? Oh, Martha, I feel bad for you.

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    1. She thought she was missing something big and exciting, and she figured there was a special spice she forgot to add to her beet salad. She's not the sharpest tack.

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  18. Does anyone know anyone willing to help Martha find her "O"? I didn't think so.

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    1. So far, no takers, Jono, and we're more than halfway through the alphabet.

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  19. She doesn't know a sexual experience starting with "o"?...Guess she won't be needing those knee pads...

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    1. Hahaha! BEST COMMENT AWARD FOR O! Kudos, CW.

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  20. Had to see what CW was talking about on your site. Oh dear, Oprah. I saw on the news where she auctioning off a bunch of her stuff. Oh, boy, Oprah--I can hardly wait. Or should I say I can wait hardly.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

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    1. You can wait hardly, Arlee. You've got enough on your plate, and none of it's related to Martha. Or Oprah. Or so I hope.

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  21. I wonder if the doll could double as a voodoo doll. I'm not much of an Oprah fan. She's just a peg above Martha for me.

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    1. I agree, Theresa. Her ego got even bigger than her bosoms.

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  22. Oprah doll accidentally inserted - clothes padded.. and ba-boom! ahhhhh!

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    1. Haha, ahhhh! There goes the big O!

      Thanks, Anthony.

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  23. Oprah and Martha in one blog? I'm shuttering.

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    1. And to think there was enough bandwidth to pair them on here.

      Happy weekend, Stephen, and every one of you funny peeps. xo

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  24. I'm working backwards, and this was even more hysterical than "P!" You had me at the first line, Robyn! Love the mini Oprah doll! Very clever!

    Julie

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  25. I don't know how you come up with these things. Thankfully, I can just get my bro-in-law to make me one, that way I don't have to go through Martha or have Oprah advertised everywhere.

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