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Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Martha Stewart's Scandalous Sex Tape Series: A-Z Challenge

Hello, I'm Martha Stewart. Rumors have been swirling since the letter C, so I'm coming clean...or shall I say dirty? Martha's face begins convulsing. She's either having a seizure or attempting a smile. Macy's and I proudly present Martha Stewart's Scandalous Sex Tape Series. Watch and learn as I engage in scandalous sex: alone on my sturdy chestnut brown dining room table; with a well endowed blow-up doll as we roll playfully through the apple orchards behind my New Haven Guest House; and alas, in sexy maid attire as I respond to Arnold Schwarzennegger's every request. This series teaches advanced sexual techniques and builds up to erotic, orgasmic sex play. It's simply spectacular. Martha's face begins convulsing again.


Posted by Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com
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36 comments:

  1. Empty Nest InsiderApril 22, 2015 at 12:13 AM

    Her convulsing face makes it all worthwhile. Loved the sexy maid jab at Ahnold too!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  2. PickleopeApril 22, 2015 at 4:35 AM

    I'd watch that. Not particularly fond of Ahhhnold doing the directing, but I'd still watch. Is this real? Can you make it real? Can you at least make it sort of real using puppets?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 22, 2015 at 8:20 AM

      Can you provide a few egg-beaters, whipped cream, ham and cheese quiche, and a six pack of vaseline, Pickleope Von Pickleope?

      Delete
  3. Alex J. CavanaughApril 22, 2015 at 4:44 AM

    I suppose if you were trying to get your livestock to mate, you could show them that tape.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 22, 2015 at 8:16 AM

      Alex, I'm giving you raucous applause, and we still have seven letters to go.

      Delete
  4. Just Keepin It Real, Folks!April 22, 2015 at 4:46 AM

    That poor blow up doll.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Momma FargoApril 22, 2015 at 4:52 AM

    Haha! You are hilarious! Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jeremy [Retro]April 22, 2015 at 5:14 AM

    I have this tape you speak of, it's like you imagined... yes, yes... all those desires in one place... just a push of a button, fast forward, rewind, fast forward... rewind... wait, that was her shucking corn... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The CrankyApril 22, 2015 at 5:49 AM

    She wants us to PAY to watch the sex she's not having?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lauren FarrowApril 22, 2015 at 5:53 AM

    hmmm.... there's something a little disturbing about combining Martha Stewart and sex in the same sentence. I think I prefer not to go there.... but I'm sure her sex tapes would draw a lot of attention nonetheless!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. RobinApril 22, 2015 at 5:56 AM

    This has already been done: Sex, Lies, and Videotape.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Debra She Who SeeksApril 22, 2015 at 6:10 AM

    There oughta be a law against that.

    ReplyDelete
  11. TheCyborgMomApril 22, 2015 at 6:37 AM

    OMG...is your entire A to Z on Martha Stewart sex stuff? Fantastic! Following...I need more funny in my life :)
    Katie @TheCyborgMom

    ReplyDelete
  12. Cherie ReichApril 22, 2015 at 6:52 AM

    It's equally horrifying and hilarious to think about.

    ReplyDelete
  13. sageApril 22, 2015 at 7:14 AM

    I notice there was no price for the series which is just as well as I wouldn't be interested.

    ReplyDelete
  14. JoanneApril 22, 2015 at 7:24 AM

    spare my eyes - that is a horrifying spectacle.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Al PenwasserApril 22, 2015 at 8:16 AM

    I think if Martha smiled, her face would fall off.
    But that wouldn't necessarily be a BAD thing.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Elizabeth SeckmanApril 22, 2015 at 8:55 AM

    She probably does it on a doily.

    ReplyDelete
  17. JoJoApril 22, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    Oh god no I don't need to see that......no one does! lol

    ReplyDelete
  18. LD MastersonApril 22, 2015 at 9:38 AM

    I don't think I'm ready for the words "Martha Stewart" and "Sex Tapes" in the same sentence. The stuff nightmares are made off.

    ReplyDelete
  19. RuthApril 22, 2015 at 10:05 AM

    You know that Martha has had sex with a live person at least once. She has a daughter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 22, 2015 at 10:18 PM

      She may've gotten a deposit from the sperm bank, Ruth.

      Delete
  20. Pat HattApril 22, 2015 at 10:54 AM

    Such a thing quickly needs to be terminated before my eyes bleed.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Plowing Through Life (Martha)April 22, 2015 at 1:15 PM

    Well, there goes my appetite. Says, Good Martha :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Janie JunebugApril 22, 2015 at 2:21 PM

    I feel a little sick. It will pass, but it's kind of like the feeling I had when X wanted a roll in the hay.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  23. stephen HayesApril 22, 2015 at 3:32 PM

    The thought of Martha and Arnold together---shiver!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Dixie@dcreliefApril 22, 2015 at 4:13 PM

    Idk, Robyn. Blow up doll and apple orchard - sounds appealing.

    ReplyDelete
  25. bookwormApril 22, 2015 at 5:18 PM

    I want to learn those techniques for rolling through the apple orchard! Perhaps I could make some homemade artisan applesauce at the same time for my potato latkes (hand grated potatoes, of course). Alana

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 22, 2015 at 9:49 PM

      You're my kind of gal pal. We could ditch our respective blow up doll men and make potato latkes with applesauce in the apple fields, while Martha's doing her thing. She wouldn't notice.

      Delete
  26. Theresa MahoneyApril 22, 2015 at 6:17 PM

    Oy! I I think it's time to boycott Macy's. I don;t want to come across that dvd at all!

    ReplyDelete
  27. BirgitApril 22, 2015 at 6:48 PM

    She probably stabs the bow-up doll while having sex. Except for Arnie, who looks just as ghastly, no one else would want to have sex with this Martha

    ReplyDelete
  28. Baby SisterApril 22, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    Wow. Macy's is certainly trying to modernize itself... No thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. UnknownApril 22, 2015 at 10:23 PM

    All I can see is Martha and Arnold's convulsing faces. I'll need a bar of Martha's hand made soap to clean that image out of my mind ;)

    You can find me here:
    ClarabelleRant

    ReplyDelete
  30. CWMartinApril 23, 2015 at 4:52 PM

    I didn't think Ahnold like women with any meat on their bones...

    ReplyDelete

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