And I Wrote This Book.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Martha Stewart's Curvacious Cluster of Curves, A-Z Challenge

Well the "Bite Me!" Bodice was a bust. And not in a sexy, boobish way. My servant ran scared. I guess he was intimidated by my sex appeal. It's a shame. He took orders well. I like that it a 25 year old. Anyway, a --Martha clears her throat-- mature woman like me still really wants a good *bleep.* Or any *bleep.* So I hired a team of cosmetic surgeons to give me this lovely melon-like
curvacious cluster of curves
For only $3.4 million, I will give you their names. They're quite good; I'm sure you agree.
Well, I'm Martha Stewart, signing off as I go get --Martha clears her throat-- pleasured. *Wink.* Toodles.

59 comments:

  1. I had a pretty good scare, as I needed to blow this up to see all the work she's had done! It was almost like she was coming at me in 3D! Your title alone was enough to put me over the edge, Robyn! Have a wonderful Passover, my friend!

    Julie

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    1. You're a brave woman, Julie, for embiggenin those embiggens she's got.

      A wonderful Passover to you. (I'll be making a humongous batch of charoset later today.)

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  2. I assume the fat transfers were from her head. And there is an inexhaustible supply there too. A business opportunity going begging. Fat transplants from her head to other's boobs and butts. At a price...
    I have just made myself unwell. Retching away now.

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    Replies
    1. You may've made yourself unwell, EC, but I feel better. Laughter is such a boost. Thank you!

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  3. The only thing more plastic than Martha herself is her, *ahem* 'tool'.

    I really can't thank you enough, Robyn, for these hilarious opportunities for taking potshots at the Stewie.

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    1. You're welcome, Jacq, though it's truly a selfish gesture on my part. =)

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  4. I think she looks better in the bodice.

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  5. lol! hilarious!

    have a blessed passover, robyn!
    big hugs`xoxo

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    1. Oh, thanks so much for thinking of me for Passover, Betty.

      A blessed Good Friday and Easter to you! xoxo

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  6. with all the serious A to Z posts in my blogroll, yours is the one I look forward to reading--thanks for the morning laugh

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    1. Thank you, Sage. My job is done. Crap, what am I saying? This is only C. Are we there yet? Smiles.

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  7. I don't get it... Why did you paste Martha Stewart's head on top of your body?

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    1. This HAS to be the best comment of the day!

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    2. You guys, I'm in stitches. LOL. I think you're trying to flatter me, Mitchell. I'm not sure I'm flattered, though. Well, okay, I'm blushing. But I'm also coddling my relatively small melons.

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  8. Replies
    1. She really does, Alex. Then she'd finally have something real (and really fake) to show for herself.

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  9. Oh, my goodness...that picture.
    Hmmm...the house is empty...maybe I should go upstairs and...make the bed.
    What'd you think I was going to say?

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    1. I thought you were going to say that you were going to go slice some melons, blow up some balloons, or start groping your ta tas.

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  10. Those are some bodacious tatas.

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    Replies
    1. Oh, JoJo, they are. I'm still laughing because of my comment to Al, which was inspired by your comment. Thank you.

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  11. Looks like they gave her an extra arm as well..now THERE is something a gal could really use.

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    1. She's probably waste it, though, by making one of her bland salads.

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  12. And the nightmare continues :) She's now got three arms. Maybe a tail next?

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  13. With those things she'll be floating to Mars in no time. One small leap for Martha Stewart, one giant leap for everyone else to be rid of her.

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    1. It looks as though she'll explode if she punctures one of 'em on a crater on Mars. We'd happily watch that explosion.

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  14. Just do not tell me Martha makes a sex tape. I just may throw up.

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  15. I can't believe she has an arm growing from her left boob!!!

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    Replies
    1. Mutations cause all sorts of anomalies on all sorts of mutants. Pretty cool, huh, DC?

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  16. I like the little yellow labels. My favorite is "Brazilian Butt Lift", which sounds like a wrestling move.

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  17. It does sound like a wrestling move, though Brazilian butts are likely easier to lift than American. Would you agree?

    Happy Easter and Passover weekend, Geo and all!

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  18. Talk about jugs! At her age she would need a wheelbarrow to carry those things around:) Poor Martha

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, she needs one wheelbarrow per jug, but - no worries - she an afford them. Thanks, silly lady.

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  19. Did she use that chick that pumps up your butt with caulk and seals the incision with Gorilla Glue?

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    Replies
    1. That sounds about right. It's a safe bet she did, CW. Too funny!

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  20. If tonight I have sexual dreams about Martha Stewart, I'm coming after you!

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    Replies
    1. I'll be going into witness protection before we're halfway through the alphabet, Stephen. So good luck to you.

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  21. Sorry, but I like Martha Stewart.

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    1. Well, she certainly has plenty of fans. You're not alone in that. I just don't see anything redeeming about her. She is attractive for her age, though. I give her that.

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  22. Oh my! Such fun! And the comments...

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    1. Yes, RR. These comments are over-the-top entertaining.

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  23. Replies
    1. Yes, and her jugs are hiding all her tatts. She made many "friends" in the stony lonely.

      Nice seeing you, David. Thanks for the chuckles.

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  24. Who knew Martha could part with her money so easily... oh wait, I guess she didn't. That's truly an investment. *snort*

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    Replies
    1. So she was hoping, Rosey. But wait til you see D.

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  25. Maybe she'll take a run on the beach and they'll fly up and knock her the *bleep* out. I'd pay 3.4 million to see that!

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    Replies
    1. Haha, that would be a very entertaining sight, Theresa. Thanks for the visual. Smiles.

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  26. And I thought the nightmares from the previous post would be bad!!

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  27. Nice Clusters!
    As they say, only celebrities cane be eccentric, the rest, insane! She's nuts!
    Thanks for that disturbing image - I cant unsee that! ahhhh

    Happy Passover! xo

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  28. Those implants are what is referred to as "party tits" I do believe. Way to go, Martha!

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  29. At least her plastic surgeons are doing well! :)

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  30. https://www.behance.net/gallery/46472895/_
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    https://www.behance.net/gallery/46462575/_

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  31. https://www.behance.net/gallery/46450923/_
    https://www.behance.net/gallery/46450419/_
    https://www.behance.net/gallery/46430977/-jumperadscom
    https://www.behance.net/gallery/42972037/_
    https://www.behance.net/gallery/40396873/Transfer-and-relocation-and-Furniture-in-Dammam

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