My Story, Yours Too.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

EastErotica, PassovErotica, Springtime Urges

My Dear Sillies,
Please enjoy some Springtime nibbles.
You are a fun-loving, spry bunch.
Be good to yourselves, and Happy Holy Days (Easter, Passover, whatever else you celebrate in public, private, or the church's final pew -- which counts as both).
Love you.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

The Cock Fight

Dear Sillies,

This post is dedicated to Al Penwasser (for reasons that defy explanation).

Bali isn't all harmony and rainbows, there's also cock fighting. When I listened to these men teach about the cock fight, I found my hands moving towards my midsection, to protect my tender nether regions...The cock fight - that one doesn't sit easily. Right? Guys, imagine your cocks trapped in cages until they're ready to do battle against other cocks! People gamble on the cock they want to win, and/or the one they themselves raised! Imagine the humiliation of your cock being publicly beaten by another man's cock. Men, and not their more peace-loving female counterparts, are all about the cock fight. 

"Do they always fight to the death?" I asked, cringing.
"No, not always. We stop it sometimes."
Phew! "Oh that's good." I really don't like the idea of a dead cock. 

Look at the sweet, staunch and proud dark cock on the right. And then look at mean Whitey, ready to pounce on him. (Kinda symbolic. Right?) 

This tradition goes back thousands of years. It's outlawed in many countries, but not Indonesia. 

After a fight, the beaten cock is cooked and devoured. 
In that sense, though I hate to admit it, I likely supported the cock fight. (I ate lots of delicious chicken.)

What are your thoughts and/or feelings about THE COCK FIGHT, my friends? Would you raise your, or someone else's, cock for such an endeavor?

Monday, April 1, 2019

Bali Bliss and Joanne's A Winner!

Dear Sillies,

Our good friend Joanne Faries is the WINNER!! Woohoo! She guessed right. I flew to Bali, Indonesia! A sweet Balinese package is on its way, Joanne.

It wasn't a planned or bucket-list trip. A great opportunity to attend a storytelling workshop* fell on my lap (*led by a fabulous comic, Alicia Dattner). By "great," I mean that I owed more in Fed taxes than I paid for the all-inclusive workshop AND round trip plane ticket. Crazy, right? Anyway, it was the most magical trip of my life, much more pleasant than writing a whopping check to the Feds.

And now for more dedications ~

For Silver Fox, blogland's treasure trove of info on memorable characters.

For HRH, a low hanging crystal chandelier in the hotel room. She'd have approved!

For Elephant's Child. We missed and love you!
Glad you're back!  

She's a live cat, though she looks like a statue. For Pat Hat.

Be good to yourselves, my friends.
You deserve vast amounts of goodness.
More congratulations to Joanne!
Well wishes to all the A-Zers too.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Where in the World? You're SO HOT! Giveaway Game, III

   You're SO HOT!
   Some of you made very close guesses, but you're still a few hours (by plane) away. That's another clue.
   Sorry to those who made great guesses, because you can't guess anymore. This is post 3 of Where In The World Did Robyn Go? Rules are stated in last two posts. I have a feeling this might be the deal-breaker. Regardless, more pictures and dedications will follow.
For Jono. These (antelope?) skulls decorated a main wall at a resort I stayed in. Interesting, right?

For Birgit, ready for the next movie. This was also at the airport where I caught my connecting flight - cleanest, nicest airport I've ever seen!

Seems I caused him to piss off. That's okay - he's stoned.


Sunday, March 24, 2019

Where In The World Did Robyn Go? Giveaway Game Part II

  Post 2 of Where Did Robyn Go?! I'll be dedicating photos to you, as I drop clues.  Winner will receive a prize from that place.

   RULES: (1) You can ONLY MAKE ONE GUESS this entire game. Use it wisely.
   (2) Must be a follower (in general and to play).
   (3) Your guess must be specific, not just the continent or country.
   Hints will get easier, if necessary. But you're so smart, it won't be easy for me.
   I won't drop hints in comments. I'll simply reveal winner once first person guesses correctly. 

Please note that I already messed up a clue. I wrote that I left and returned on the same day. What I meant is that I left for home (after 2.5 weeks away) and returned home on the same day, Thursday, March 21. 
for Alex, Ninja warriors (maybe?) at an airport stop, where I caught a connecting flight.
               My writing spot.
It's sunny here, but it rained daily.

Gelato for Joanne. Yummy options were easily found. Enjoy!


Saturday, March 23, 2019

Where in The World Did Robyn Go? Giveaway Game!

My Dear Sillies,
I missed you! Full disclosure: I took a digital detox for 2.5 weeks, during which I focused on my book (InSanity). Plus I traveled far beyond my kitchen. Let's play Where Did Robyn Go?! I'll be dedicating photos to you, as I drop clues.  Winner will receive a prize from that place.

   RULES: (1) You can ONLY MAKE ONE GUESS this entire game. Use it wisely.
   (2) Must be a follower (in general and to play).
   (3) Your guess must be specific, not just the continent or country.
   Hints will get easier, if necessary. But you're so smart, it won't be easy for me.
   I won't drop hints in comments. I'll simply reveal winner once first person guesses correctly.
    Nervously awaiting my departure, San Francisco International Airport.
    I returned on Thursday, March 21, the same day I departed for my trek home.

Oops. How did he get in here? He wasn't there, but this photo is dedicated to Yvonne. May Aquaman treat you well, my dear.   
                                                          Minion sighting for Spunk.

I only saw one Starbucks, one KFC, and one McDonald's. No other coffee or fast food chains, though I wasn't looking for any.
  And, GO...

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Root Beer Chocolate, Detox, InSanity

Dear Sillies,
   Are you staying warm enough? I sure hope so. Spring is only a few weeks away - something to keep in mind while you're bundling up.
   I've a mixed post for you. 
   Please be good to yourselves.
   We'll catch up later in March.

   First, I sampled Theo's Root Beer Barrel, a root beer flavored chocolate bar.
I like root beer, and you know I love chocolate. This chocolate bar has a solid root beer flavor. But I wanted more chocolate goodness. The mixture doesn't work. It might work if you add vanilla ice cream, as it made me crave a root beer float. On the plus side: It's Fair trade. It's a pretty wrapping. It wasn't bad. I'll give it a 5 on a scale of 1-10. If you're craving root beer, make yourself a root beer float. Don't buy Theo's Root Beer Barrel.   

Second, I'm going on an Internet detox break for several weeks. One reason for this is to work on finishing my next book. It's a sequel to Woman on the Verge called InSanity. 
Here's a teaser from page one:

   Is it just me or are everybody’s braincells mysteriously busy boogers, frenetically body-slamming against each other’s elastic membranes, then rebounding fullspeed ahead like Sarah Palin at the mention of the 1892 Alaskan Takedown Cartridge Rifle?
   She’s horny, right? I mean, anyone with that degree of calculated idiocy, that endless supply of plastic smiles and short tight skirts—Does she not know she lives in—Hello!­ Alaska? She’s gotta have a deviant libido. Or am I just jealous 'cuz she's one of those pretty-dumb-rich bitches? Yeah, that too. But let’s fixate on the former. It’s more fun, and I’m so weird.
   He doesn’t notice.
   Am I crazy? Am I not crazy? If I’m crazy, am I crazy for thinking I’m not crazy? If I'm not crazy, am I crazy for not realizing that I'm not crazy? But if I am in fact crazy, am I not in fact crazy for thinking that—my musings hurt. Let’s agree that I’m not crazy. No? No, no?
   Oh all right, yes. Yes, yes. Check box one, check box two. Cash? No, check. Check please.
   I hate waiting for the check. They’re never quick to bring it. Twenty minutes later they act all smiley, flip it under your nose, and announce “Take your time.” I already did, honey, waiting for you to bring the damn check! Here's your tip: Pick up the pace; you're on the clock.
   Warmed bed sheets brush briskly against my right calf.
   My face lowers itself hypnotically, as I sink into Jeff’s thoughtful gray-blue irises. Oh, I forgot: I’m having sex. Like, now. And I’m not alone.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Celebrity Book Fails

Dear Sillies,
Please enjoy some actual Amazon book reviews of some actually famous people who apparently believe that fame makes them worthy of best seller status. Perhaps you have explanation for the final review too.

Take care of yourselves.
Love to you.

And as for the cheating on his wife - he kind of acts like it was all her fault as she didn't like Hollywood at all. Then after dumping her for the girlfriend, why go into her death as if he really really cared??? Such self serving on his part. And of course the part where he was tempted by another actress - why bother to put that story in???

Sally Field's In Pieces
Burt Reynolds had It RIGHT: Hold stomach, 2 fingers down throat
In this 400 page book there are only about 20 pages that mention Burt Reynolds, but what stands out most to me is his reaction to “downer” remarks from the past Sally Field tried to get out to him: He’d grab his stomach and then take two fingers and act like he was about to puke. Unfortunately, this is the reaction I had to this entire whiny book.
As you can see, they're not only lousy writers, they're lousy cover designers. 
Katharine Hepburn's Memoir, Me
This reviewer sums it up best: Bad. Bad. Bad

one of Donald Trump's books~ (The title, like anything about him, isn't worth mentioning)

The title should read, How to think like a Billionaire after Daddy gives you $413 million dollars and the Saudi’ bailout your hotels while Russia gives loads of money probably laundered through his Golf Clubs!

The only book I know that has four chapter 11s.  
Because he doesn't know what number comes next?
Because 11 is a prime number and he's way past his prime?
Because that's his I.Q.?
Because he eats 11 Big Macs per day?
or The wife is his editor? 

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

A Human Date of Late to Hate

   A few weeks ago, a sudden outpouring of men were in the picture. Herb seemed my best prospect. He thoroughly charmed me. "A pretty person like you often has a beautiful soul." A winning line, right? 
   Even better, we were both pleased upon meeting in-person. Dinner was great. We had friendly discourse about work, his child, my writing. Unlike other dates, Herb picked up the bill without hesitation.
   And then, better still, he invited me to his place. "I'll play music for you," he said. Herb sings and plays guitar. 
   His shiny black guitar across his lap, Herb sang soft familiar tunes. I sat entranced, falling more deeply with each note. After a handful of John Denver, Celine Dione, and others' music, Herb played Josh Groban's "You Raise Me Up." 
   All the while, I envisioned Herb and I walking across stormy seas hand in hand. Kinda like a "come to Jesus" moment - only with this little Jewish lady and my Herb.
   The song ended, though, and my date set down his guitar. "I'm done." He dabbed his eyes with the backs of his hands.  "I feel too sad now. That song was for my ex-girlfriend. She died of a drug overdose."
   Well we didn't see that one coming, did we?
   "This" --he pointed at his guitar-- "this is my priority. And I don't want a bad reputation."
   Because anyone who dates me develops a bad reputation? No dude, I raise them up, until it's over, at which point they plummet as low as they could be.

   Needless to say, I put my jacket on and grabbed my purse. Only twenty minutes after Herb began to serenade me, err, his dead ex-girlfriend, the date was over.
   Herb gestured towards his front door.
   "You have a GPS to get home, right?"
   "Yeah, I have a GPS."  But your dead ex-girlfriend could raise me home faster, I assume.

    At my car door, Herb on the opposite side of my car, I said "Thank you."  I didn't know what else to say.
   Of course, now I have all sorts of words for him.


Thursday, February 14, 2019

The Date to Hate Contest Winner!

Dear Sillies, 
   The polls closed late into the night last night. Votes were tallied and re-tallied. It was a close struggle. We suspect possible Russian collusion, but we know our citizens are good with some fowl (or in this case, goat) play. So now, I present to you this year's Life by Chocolate's Anti-VDay Winning slogan - the best of the worst attempts to seduce:

I am ready to float your boat.
I've been practicing for years 
on my pet goat. 

Our winner is our very own, the one and the only, a friend to all...felines and goats, Mr. Pat Hatt!
Thank you to all who entered.
Congratulations, Pat! Pat Hatt will receive a nice, sweet WINNER'S package!
Sympathies to your pet goat. 
Sweetness to you, my dears, today and always.
You are loved.  

Sunday, February 10, 2019

The Date to Hate Contest, Vote Now!

My Dearest Sillies,
   I challenged you to create a Valentine's message that, while meant to seduce, does the opposite - in no more than 30 words.
   You rose (err, lowered) to the task in a colorful way.
   So as to keep you focused on the sentiment versus the blogger, I've numbered the entries. Your task is to vote for one and only one entry. Please don't vote for your own. Must be a follower to vote. Polls will close on Wed, 2/13, 8p EST. Thank you!
   Ready, set, vote!

1) Dear Valentine,
It seems you are mine,
Over time you have grown on me,
I am not certain there is an antibiotic strong enough to set me free.

2) I'm not a cactus expert but I see a Prick when I see one.

3) Blood is red
Dead people are blue
I love you to death
That much is true!
4) If you have burning love to share for V Day, I can scratch your itch.

5) my heart beat faster when I was with you
I could barely breathe after our first kiss
Yes, I'm allergic to nuts like you.
6) Roses are red
Violets are blue
Just one in the bed
My right arm is huge

7) "Erica? Take a letter, please.
Happy Valentine's Day, my Darling, my Love, my One and Only!
Yours eternally,

Carbon copies to Mindy, Sheila, Caitlin, Brianna, Elaine, and Janis."

8) Some days I hate people.
I love that we have than in common.

9) I said I'd love you through thick and thin. 
I didn't think you'd get so much thicker after I said that. 
Get thin and be my Valentine!

10) I love you almost as much as my boat...
11) Darling Valentine, be mine, always mine.
Join me at my table.
I'll take you out of the oven and be ready to dine.
Hannibal Lecter, with some fava beans
/ cut-off at 30 words (and a nice Chianti)

12) Happy Valentine's Day. You're the reason I like animals better than people.

13) Baby, I am ready to float your boat.
I've been practicing for years on my pet goat.    

14) Roses are red
Violets are blue
That’s because I’m strangling you.

15) I don't like you, you're annoying,
but heres some cheap chocolate, lets get busy boinking!!