My Story, Yours Too.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Unfold, Unlease, and Wave Away. Salute That Flag!

Dear Sillies,
It's almost Flag Day, an upstanding time to rise to the occasion - unfold, unleash, and wave away.
Betsy Ross knew how to please. I salute her.

Be well, and may you be sincerely grateful for your freedoms.
Love you.

Monday, June 3, 2019

Welcome, June...Cleaver!

 Dear Sillies,
   It's June! How'd that happen?
   Please excuse my grab for low hanging fruit today (as if I never otherwise do so). Then again, I suspect Al Penwasser won't mind.
   Be well, and take care of yourselves.

    Look out for the June Bug
Urban Dictionary's top definition: June Bug ~ Little brown beetles famous for thier incesant bumping into porch lights and houses on a late spring to summer evening. Often tries to sneak into houses, either by flying right in when the door is open, or by hitching a ride on somebody's clothes like a little ninja. Harmless to humans and cannot bite. Despite thier name, they can come out as early as May. Shut that door before you let all the june bugs in!
Thunder Magus March 27, 2009

And June Cleaver, how we miss you.
RIP  Barbara Billingsley, 12/22/15-10/16/10 

  “Oh Ward, you animal. It gets me so hot and squishy when you call it intercourse.”
                      ― Benjamin R. Smith, June Cleaver Sexual Deviant


Everyone's (or just Al Penwasser's and my) favorite ~
But wait, why does he simply grin and walk away? Why does she not remember if he was too hard?

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Celebrity Book Fails: Resting Idol Face?


 









Dear Silly Ones, 
   How are you?
   I hope this finds you having a decent (or better) day.

   I thought I'd bring you a few Celebrity Book Fails. They didn't all get bad reviews, but I reviewed the reviews. From there, I posted amusing comments that did well to capture general sentiment.
   Tell me, please. I'm not a big Idol fan. Is that his resting Idol face? Does he ever smile? Could that be why he dances alone? Just curious.
Be well, and be good to yourselves. 

Seriously...I'm Kidding by Ellen DeGeneres
0 out of 5 stars   Most reviews that were negative included "I love Ellen but..." This is one of them.
Great Book...I'm Kidding February 15, 2013
I cannot wait to become famous so I can write a "book" of scattered thoughts and drawings to color so I can have it published and sell millions of copies. In one chapter she has fakfjgdifjd with a "whoops, I had my hands on the wrong keys", another was just drawings to color, which was very annoying since it was the Kindle addition. There were some amusing things, after all, she is Ellen. I hope in the end of the book she didn't reveal the secrets of the universe because I stopped reading.

Heart to Heart by Britney Spears

December 5, 2001
This book is full of bubble gum talks, come on, can she be sooo nice and sweet, this book made her look very dume and stupid, very immature and childlish.
Well, reviews reflect the readership drawn to the celebrity. Right? 


Billy Idol has a book. See above. Who knew? It seems as though he actually wrote it too. Reviews are mixed but mostly good actually. That said, I'm posting a couple of 3-star comments that I found entertaining. 

Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol
 3.0 out of 5 stars Billy likes to bang lots and lots of girls,,, and I guess some other stuff...
November 30, 2014
Perri Lister, his girlfriend who actually was well known back in the 80s, gets no development. He says all the time how much he loves her, but why? She is simply a cipher. 


February 26, 2018
Billy's story is drugs, sex, and, in a minor way, rock and roll. Yes, I know the order is wrong, but that's how it is in this biography. Billy did a lot of drugs. Congrats, Billy, but it gets boring quickly. The big insight here is that drugs are bad. This is not new.

 

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

What is Chocolate? A Jeopardy Question

Dear Sillies,
   How are you holding up?
   Allergies are kicking my tuchas. Anyone else contending with them? Any remedies to suggest besides snorting things up your nostrils repeatedly like a coke addict? (Probably not something to do in public.)
   Otherwise, I can't complain. Well, we can always complain. But it's better to be appreciative, in spite of life's miseries. I am. And I hope you feel the same, at least for moments in time.
   This past weekend, I took a little trip to Berkeley (approx 3 hours away).
   It's a colorful place with some lovely flowers, and fresh Bay air.


   There, I attended a sweet young guy's Bar Mitzvah* ceremony. (*The Jewish ceremony marking one's passage into adulthood at age 13. For girls, it's called the "Bat Mitzvah.") This young man, who I used to babysit, is a kindred spirit in his love for chocolate.
   During the reception, he and his classmates played Jeopardy. One question perplexed me. Well, I just lied. Many more than one question stumped me. This one, though, I really should have known: What is the name for the chemical formula of chocolate?

How could I have no clue?
That's not right. I'm a fraud!
The kids immediately shouted the answer - those smart, young Berkeley-ites.
Do you know, my smart, young and young-ish bloggy friends?
I'll post answer after the picture of more lovely flowers in Berkeley.














Here we go:
"Theobromine, formerly known as xantheose, is a bitter alkaloid of the cacao plant, with the chemical formula C7H8N4O2. It is found in chocolate, as well as in a number of other foods, including the leaves of the tea plant, and the kola (or cola) nut."

WHO KNEW? I SURE DIDN'T!

Keep a smile and plenty of theobromine on hand, my dears.

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Sweetest of Tests: Chocolate Tasting

Dearest Silly Hearts,
   Most tests cause anxiety. The taste test, however, that's a good one. Well, when chocolate is examined. Almost always, at least. So I've done some testing for you and for me.
   I think I sampled this Chocolate Tea (Numi Organic Chocolate Pu-erh) years ago. "Pu-erh is an ancient healing tea picked from 500-year old organic wild tea trees in Yunnan, China." Fair Labor.
   The svelt/hello beautiful chocolate drink is a local creation, very healthy for a chocolate product, high in the good stuff (protein), low in the bad (sugar, fats).
    As for the Puerh, well, I have cheap taste. This one tastes a bit too snooty. I can't love it. It's a little strong, gritty, but rich and smooth. The flavor is more down the lines of black licorice than cocoa. I like it, and I'm happy to support this high quality, expensive ($10 for the box) product, but I don't love the taste. Yet, this one's  unique, warming, and an earth-human friendly product. We'll give it an 8 on a 1-10 scale. 10 is best.
  The svelte is surprisingly good, considering it's surprisingly and relatively healthy. Tastes like good ole fashioned chocolate milk to be combined with oatmeal cookies. But the container's too small to make for a sufficient meal substitute. It won't fill ya up. Maybe three would, and that'd cost ya $6. I'll give it a 7. 



Last but most, I'm here (back) in Bali, on a chocolate factory too. HEAVEN! My "tour" consisted of getting geared up to remain in one room and taste approximately 30 samples of chocolate -- all off the charts (15+) in terms of richness, sweetness, orgasmic-ness. I think I found my happy place.

Be well, and keep things sweet, my dears.

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Paradise, 6 Months After The Camp Fire


Dear Silly Hearts,
   I held out as long as I could, but upgraded last month. My old fashioned flip-phone kept cutting out. I thus caved and went the way of Android. 
   Please forgive my shaky hands in the 2-min video of Paradise; I'm still learning. We always are, aren't we? Some of us (pointing at self) have steeper curves than others.
   
   It's been six months since the Camp Fire. 
   A main point I'm making, one that's honest yet intensely sad, is that close to 400 (and not 85) people perished. Because every single life is worthy and should not be dismissed, I'd like to dismantle that myth. 
   To explain a bit, the statistic on the number of people unaccounted for had quickly disappeared, after I recorded it (296 or more). There's hush-hush around reports that hundreds of bodies were found huddled together, bodies that weren't identified. (85 is the number of identified, but I've seen claims of 85-88.) All forms of media have gone with this much lower number. It's easier to accept, although, very tragically, not true.  
   However, on a miraculous note, approximately 52,000 people survived. Given the fire so abruptly ravaged a region of land equal to the size of Chicago, this is incredible.
   Everywhere there are signs of sadness and loss, hope and renewal can't be missed.
   We are remarkably resilient, as is Mother Nature.

Go gently, and know that you're loved.

This sweet couple allowed me to post this. Between them is a heart in the fence, which she'd created. I told them that their love is exactly what I went to Paradise to capture.  


UGH. I have too much to learn. Sorry, seems you can't watch this...I'll work on it. Til then, be well and safe.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Inspiration & Dedications from My Vacation

Dear Silliest of Silly Ones,
May this post find you smiling about something, anything. 
And now, I'll bring back some photos from Bali. 

Can you believe this voluptuous woman was once a tree? Incredible artists, those Balinese wood carvers. Debra and your Rare One, this one's for you. I just thought you'd appreciate it as much as I do. Or more.  

Young, talented dancers. Holli, for you, for the love of dance.

For our dear friend, Janie Junebug. The quote behind me: "If we never stress, then we will never succeed."

I'll stop here.
Take good care of YOU!
Til next time.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

EastErotica, PassovErotica, Springtime Urges

My Dear Sillies,
Please enjoy some Springtime nibbles.
You are a fun-loving, spry bunch.
Be good to yourselves, and Happy Holy Days (Easter, Passover, whatever else you celebrate in public, private, or the church's final pew -- which counts as both).
Love you.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

The Cock Fight

Dear Sillies,

This post is dedicated to Al Penwasser (for reasons that defy explanation).

Bali isn't all harmony and rainbows, there's also cock fighting. When I listened to these men teach about the cock fight, I found my hands moving towards my midsection, to protect my tender nether regions...The cock fight - that one doesn't sit easily. Right? Guys, imagine your cocks trapped in cages until they're ready to do battle against other cocks! People gamble on the cock they want to win, and/or the one they themselves raised! Imagine the humiliation of your cock being publicly beaten by another man's cock. Men, and not their more peace-loving female counterparts, are all about the cock fight. 

"Do they always fight to the death?" I asked, cringing.
"No, not always. We stop it sometimes."
Phew! "Oh that's good." I really don't like the idea of a dead cock. 


Look at the sweet, staunch and proud dark cock on the right. And then look at mean Whitey, ready to pounce on him. (Kinda symbolic. Right?) 

This tradition goes back thousands of years. It's outlawed in many countries, but not Indonesia. 

After a fight, the beaten cock is cooked and devoured. 
In that sense, though I hate to admit it, I likely supported the cock fight. (I ate lots of delicious chicken.)

What are your thoughts and/or feelings about THE COCK FIGHT, my friends? Would you raise your, or someone else's, cock for such an endeavor?

Monday, April 1, 2019

Bali Bliss and Joanne's A Winner!

Dear Sillies,

Our good friend Joanne Faries is the WINNER!! Woohoo! She guessed right. I flew to Bali, Indonesia! A sweet Balinese package is on its way, Joanne.

It wasn't a planned or bucket-list trip. A great opportunity to attend a storytelling workshop* fell on my lap (*led by a fabulous comic, Alicia Dattner). By "great," I mean that I owed more in Fed taxes than I paid for the all-inclusive workshop AND round trip plane ticket. Crazy, right? Anyway, it was the most magical trip of my life, much more pleasant than writing a whopping check to the Feds.


And now for more dedications ~

For Silver Fox, blogland's treasure trove of info on memorable characters.

For HRH, a low hanging crystal chandelier in the hotel room. She'd have approved!
                                      

For Elephant's Child. We missed and love you!
Glad you're back!  










She's a live cat, though she looks like a statue. For Pat Hat.

Be good to yourselves, my friends.
You deserve vast amounts of goodness.
More congratulations to Joanne!
Well wishes to all the A-Zers too.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Where in the World? You're SO HOT! Giveaway Game, III

Dears, 
   You're SO HOT!
   Some of you made very close guesses, but you're still a few hours (by plane) away. That's another clue.
   Sorry to those who made great guesses, because you can't guess anymore. This is post 3 of Where In The World Did Robyn Go? Rules are stated in last two posts. I have a feeling this might be the deal-breaker. Regardless, more pictures and dedications will follow.
   
For Jono. These (antelope?) skulls decorated a main wall at a resort I stayed in. Interesting, right?









For Birgit, ready for the next movie. This was also at the airport where I caught my connecting flight - cleanest, nicest airport I've ever seen!

Seems I caused him to piss off. That's okay - he's stoned.

Guesses?!

Sunday, March 24, 2019

Where In The World Did Robyn Go? Giveaway Game Part II


  Post 2 of Where Did Robyn Go?! I'll be dedicating photos to you, as I drop clues.  Winner will receive a prize from that place.

   RULES: (1) You can ONLY MAKE ONE GUESS this entire game. Use it wisely.
   (2) Must be a follower (in general and to play).
   (3) Your guess must be specific, not just the continent or country.
   Hints will get easier, if necessary. But you're so smart, it won't be easy for me.
   I won't drop hints in comments. I'll simply reveal winner once first person guesses correctly. 


Please note that I already messed up a clue. I wrote that I left and returned on the same day. What I meant is that I left for home (after 2.5 weeks away) and returned home on the same day, Thursday, March 21. 
for Alex, Ninja warriors (maybe?) at an airport stop, where I caught a connecting flight.
               My writing spot.
It's sunny here, but it rained daily.

Gelato for Joanne. Yummy options were easily found. Enjoy!





Guesses?!

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Where in The World Did Robyn Go? Giveaway Game!

My Dear Sillies,
I missed you! Full disclosure: I took a digital detox for 2.5 weeks, during which I focused on my book (InSanity). Plus I traveled far beyond my kitchen. Let's play Where Did Robyn Go?! I'll be dedicating photos to you, as I drop clues.  Winner will receive a prize from that place.

   RULES: (1) You can ONLY MAKE ONE GUESS this entire game. Use it wisely.
   (2) Must be a follower (in general and to play).
   (3) Your guess must be specific, not just the continent or country.
   Hints will get easier, if necessary. But you're so smart, it won't be easy for me.
   I won't drop hints in comments. I'll simply reveal winner once first person guesses correctly.
    Nervously awaiting my departure, San Francisco International Airport.
    I returned on Thursday, March 21, the same day I departed for my trek home.

Oops. How did he get in here? He wasn't there, but this photo is dedicated to Yvonne. May Aquaman treat you well, my dear.   
                                                          Minion sighting for Spunk.

I only saw one Starbucks, one KFC, and one McDonald's. No other coffee or fast food chains, though I wasn't looking for any.
  And, GO...

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Root Beer Chocolate, Detox, InSanity

Dear Sillies,
   Are you staying warm enough? I sure hope so. Spring is only a few weeks away - something to keep in mind while you're bundling up.
   I've a mixed post for you. 
   
   Please be good to yourselves.
   We'll catch up later in March.

   First, I sampled Theo's Root Beer Barrel, a root beer flavored chocolate bar.
I like root beer, and you know I love chocolate. This chocolate bar has a solid root beer flavor. But I wanted more chocolate goodness. The mixture doesn't work. It might work if you add vanilla ice cream, as it made me crave a root beer float. On the plus side: It's Fair trade. It's a pretty wrapping. It wasn't bad. I'll give it a 5 on a scale of 1-10. If you're craving root beer, make yourself a root beer float. Don't buy Theo's Root Beer Barrel.   
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Second, I'm going on an Internet detox break for several weeks. One reason for this is to work on finishing my next book. It's a sequel to Woman on the Verge called InSanity. 
Here's a teaser from page one:


   Is it just me or are everybody’s braincells mysteriously busy boogers, frenetically body-slamming against each other’s elastic membranes, then rebounding fullspeed ahead like Sarah Palin at the mention of the 1892 Alaskan Takedown Cartridge Rifle?
   She’s horny, right? I mean, anyone with that degree of calculated idiocy, that endless supply of plastic smiles and short tight skirts—Does she not know she lives in—Hello!­ Alaska? She’s gotta have a deviant libido. Or am I just jealous 'cuz she's one of those pretty-dumb-rich bitches? Yeah, that too. But let’s fixate on the former. It’s more fun, and I’m so weird.
   He doesn’t notice.
   Am I crazy? Am I not crazy? If I’m crazy, am I crazy for thinking I’m not crazy? If I'm not crazy, am I crazy for not realizing that I'm not crazy? But if I am in fact crazy, am I not in fact crazy for thinking that—my musings hurt. Let’s agree that I’m not crazy. No? No, no?
   Oh all right, yes. Yes, yes. Check box one, check box two. Cash? No, check. Check please.
   I hate waiting for the check. They’re never quick to bring it. Twenty minutes later they act all smiley, flip it under your nose, and announce “Take your time.” I already did, honey, waiting for you to bring the damn check! Here's your tip: Pick up the pace; you're on the clock.
   Warmed bed sheets brush briskly against my right calf.
   My face lowers itself hypnotically, as I sink into Jeff’s thoughtful gray-blue irises. Oh, I forgot: I’m having sex. Like, now. And I’m not alone.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Celebrity Book Fails

Dear Sillies,
Please enjoy some actual Amazon book reviews of some actually famous people who apparently believe that fame makes them worthy of best seller status. Perhaps you have explanation for the final review too.

Take care of yourselves.
Love to you.


And as for the cheating on his wife - he kind of acts like it was all her fault as she didn't like Hollywood at all. Then after dumping her for the girlfriend, why go into her death as if he really really cared??? Such self serving on his part. And of course the part where he was tempted by another actress - why bother to put that story in???

Sally Field's In Pieces
Burt Reynolds had It RIGHT: Hold stomach, 2 fingers down throat
In this 400 page book there are only about 20 pages that mention Burt Reynolds, but what stands out most to me is his reaction to “downer” remarks from the past Sally Field tried to get out to him: He’d grab his stomach and then take two fingers and act like he was about to puke. Unfortunately, this is the reaction I had to this entire whiny book.
    
As you can see, they're not only lousy writers, they're lousy cover designers. 
 
Katharine Hepburn's Memoir, Me
This reviewer sums it up best: Bad. Bad. Bad

one of Donald Trump's books~ (The title, like anything about him, isn't worth mentioning)

The title should read, How to think like a Billionaire after Daddy gives you $413 million dollars and the Saudi’ bailout your hotels while Russia gives loads of money probably laundered through his Golf Clubs!

The only book I know that has four chapter 11s.  
Because he doesn't know what number comes next?
Because 11 is a prime number and he's way past his prime?
Because that's his I.Q.?
Because he eats 11 Big Macs per day?
or The wife is his editor?