Monday, May 29, 2017

Memorial Day Tribute

I've recycled a Memorial Day post from years prior. Apologies, but sometimes I said it better then than I could now. Oftentimes, I don't know what to say about something so overwhelmingly tragic as War.

And how can we adequately thank and pay tribute to our military? I don't know; I don't think we can...I did give it thought as a child. Back then, I was a diehard environmentalist and humanitarian (who failed to use a dictionary to check my spelling, completely naive to the fact that I'd publicize this "poem to think of" decades later). I wrote:

                                        ~Embiggen, if you'd like to read about THE SAD war~
My favorite line in the above poem is: "I think more forests should be built."




My sweetie-pie nephew, 16 mos.

May it be a meaningful, peaceful and safe Memorial Day.

With gratitude and blessings to all who have served and will serve our country, and to their loved ones, for all time.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Reasons for Celibacy and the Tiny Dog

Dear Sillies,
Happy Tuesday. I hope you're doing well.
Once again, I bring you more reasons for a woman (for example, me) to choose celibacy in these strangest of times. Taken directly from internet dating ads, in bold, and my responses, italicized, may these bring giggles and a sense of relief for your relationship status.
Take care, my friends.
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REASON #403:
Psst, it’s not a secret once it’s posted on the world wide web.

REASON #404:
hello weird socially-lacking girls 
hello man too stupid to figure out why his life is lacking in female companionship. 

REASON #405:
Solid rep. Not your average jo. Realer than most. Not tryna impress nobody. yet highly intellectual, and well-versed in it.
Well versed in what, Einstein? Tryna be a real solid rep of a Joe with no “e”?

REASON #406:
I’m fairly certain I already dated this one before:
Will only do things that I can do with my dog; after I brush his teeth I let him lick my face. Tiny dog. Ok? Okay. Oh honey, if I’m gonna do a threesome doggie style, I prefer no dogs allowed. PS Tiny is not okay.

REASON #407:
kiss me im fun ??
no thanks im done ??

Monday, May 15, 2017

Chocolate Cheerios, More Chocolate, and Sailing Away

Dear Sillies,

Did you have a nice weekend? I hope so. And I hope the new week is off to a sweet start.

I'm not sure what's going on with the Youtube link on my blog header. I suspect Putin has something to do with it. But hopefully, it'll be fixed soon.

Now, onto a Chocolate review ~

General Mills' Chocolate Cheerios ~ Well, they aren't as big as advertised. (We know how that is. Right, ladies? It would be nice to NOT need a microscope, for a change.)

But it's gluten free, so that's supposed to be a good thing. And it tastes pretty good. Plus it's a relatively healthy cereal with whole grain oats as the first ingredient. And they're CHOCOLATE. I never liked regular Cheerios, but I do like these.

Also, General Mills is on the good team; they've given over $175 MILLION to US schools through Box Tops for Education. They support worthy causes such as the Celiac Disease Foundation. So you  might consider giving them business when seeking a good cereal.
All things considered, I give Chocolate Cheerios a 7 on a 1-10 scale. Size does matter. 
Have you tried these? What do you think?
MORE CHOCOLATE~I had a great, packed weekend. It started with this delectable breakfast at the Paradise Chocolate Fest. Note the chocolate syrup and chocolate chips on the pancakes. Naturally, I washed it down with hot chocolate.

Then, I sold a few books and had fun conversations at the Chocolate Fest's "Authors' Alley."
Mother's Day is typically painful (I'm sorry if it is/was for you too), so I planned a getaway. I went sailing on the San Francisco Bay. It was awesome. My friend, who literally showed me the ropes ("sheets" and "lines" and other terminology Sage can tell us about) only had to shout at me twice: "Robyn, go the other way! You're heading straight for the dock!" Phew, I didn't crash. And I didn't fall into the water. So that's doubly good. It was a beautiful day and well worth the full day's trip.

Be well, my dears.


Sunday, May 7, 2017

May Pole Erotica

Dears,
With apologies, I'm posting a re-post from last year's re-post from the year before last.

 
Keep smiling, my friends, despite any unpleasant sights.

Love to you and yours for a nice and pretty May.

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Interview with Dr. Phil, back for IWSG!

Hi, Friends,
I stopped doing the IWSG/Insecure Writer's Support Group long ago. But I missed the group and my alternatively factual interviews. Alex is so kind, I'm not sure he ever dropped me from the list. So all things considered, I brought back a biggie. He's 6'4". He's Dr. Phil. And he's here for an interview.
Robyn: Come on out here, Doc! 

Dr. Phil hands his rifle to wife Robin and walks to center stage. "How ya all doin'? I said 'How ya all doin'?"

Robyn: Why do you always repeat yourself, Philanderer? 

Dr. Phil: Look, I don't know what you're talkin about, little one. I said, 'I don't know what you're talkin about down there!'

Robyn: Excuse me, dude. You're not a real doctor. You gave up your license years ago. A questionable license it was, too. You'd hired a client to work as an employee. Hm. The station kept you on as "entertainment" while you pretend to do therapy. Unethical much? And you cheated on your first wife. And you steal quotes from others and pretend they're yours. Yet you don't have an insecure nerve in your body. How do you do it, Philayofish?

Dr. Phil: Look, it's time to get real about your life. I said 'It's time to get real about your life!' If you don't have confidence in yourself, nobody else will. I said --

Robyn: I heard you! I quoted you in my book too. I mean, you're not all bad, but you are an annoying egomaniac, Philosophical b.s.er.

Dr. Phil: Let me tell you, I've conducted an extensive study. It took years of research and the most highly trained professionals. We determined your needs. Our crew looked long and hard --

Robyn starts to salivate at the thought of her needs finally being met in a long, hard way.

Dr. Phil continues: We found the perfect intensive neuro so so psycho facility for middle aged sex starved women of abnormally short stature who are ravenously addicted to - shall we say? - treats.

Robyn's beaming. Oh yes, Phillycheesesteak. We shall say treats! Woohoo! Robyn partakes in fist pumping and frenetic dance moves.

Dr. Phil: Look, just go! I said 'Just go!' Dr. Phil signals two very big security guards to escort a hyperactive Robyn off the stage.

Robyn: Thank you, Philharmonic! Thank you! You're the best! I said 'You're the best!'
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On a different and very sad note, in my eight years of blogging, I've spoken to half a dozen blog friends by phone. One of them is Melissa Bradley. Melissa and I shared men bashing stories and other nonsense, and she'd make me laugh hysterically. When I spoke to her approx. two weeks ago, and she was in hospice, Melly told me: "You know what they served me for dinner the other night? Bratwurst! YOU DON'T SERVE BRATWURST UNLESS YOU DO IT RIGHT. And that means NOT WITH KETCHUP PACKETS!" How could I not laugh heartily? Melissa called me her bloggy sister. She was a feisty, saucy, hilarious, creative, heartfelt and very loving woman who fought a grueling battle with unfaltering gusto and optimism. Ultimately, cancer put an end to that fight this past Sunday.  Among Melissa's final words to me were "I'll pray for you." That speaks to her selfless character. 

I love you, bloggy sis. Your memory is forever a blessing. Thank you for all your gifts to literature, your loved ones, and the world. Rest in Peace, dear heart.
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Take gentle care, my friends.
I love you and life is precious. 
Keep a smile. Better yet, laugh heartily. And repeat. And then some more.