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Thursday, April 9, 2015

Martha Stewart's Hefty Heffer Hideaway: A-Z Challenge

Hello. I'm Martha Stewart. If you're --Martha clears her throat-- mature like me, you might have noticed that rolls of lard tend to readily accumulate around the mid-section, just above the nether regions. However, there's no need to worry. I've put them to good use, and so can you.
The Hefty Heffer Hideaway is quite helpful for transporting various items. Simply lift up rolls of fat, carefully, and one by one. Next,  place salad bowls, insider trade secrets, the Cuisinart, and handcuffs. It's a resourceful method for maximizing the Hefty Heffer Hideaway. As far as what you can fit between your legs, well --Martha blushes-- I'll let you figure that one out. Tootles.



Posted by Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com
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46 comments:

  1. Elephant's ChildApril 9, 2015 at 1:08 AM

    Just the same, you could hide infinitely more between your ears (because low cunning takes up very little room) than you could ever pack into your Hefty Heffer hideaway.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The CrankyApril 9, 2015 at 3:00 AM

    Now I'm thinking of a Stewie and Heffner pairing. Thank goodness they're past the breeding years; the excess of vapidity would produce a black hole of a baby...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 10:53 PM

      That would be interesting, Jac. Despite this series, Martie seems asexual and frigid. She'd be Heff's biggest challenge. LOL.

      Delete
  3. Alex J. CavanaughApril 9, 2015 at 3:43 AM

    I agree with Elephant's Child!

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousApril 9, 2015 at 4:08 AM

    Trust Martha to come up with a practical use for those annoying rolls.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Plowing Through Life (Martha)April 9, 2015 at 4:29 AM

    "insider trade secrets" BAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  6. JoJoApril 9, 2015 at 4:36 AM

    GROSSSSSSSS! lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. Moving with MitchellApril 9, 2015 at 5:07 AM

    Bette Midler once talked about tucking a Smith-Corona typewriter under her boobs. Ah, for the good old days!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jeremy [Retro]April 9, 2015 at 5:42 AM

    uhmmm, errrr... uhmmmm... lol

    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2015]

    There's no earthly way of knowing.
    Which direction we are going!

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    Come Visit: You know you want to know if me or Hollywood... is Nuts?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 10:55 PM

      No earthly way, Jeremy. None whatsoever. Except downhill fast.

      Delete
  9. Debra She Who SeeksApril 9, 2015 at 5:57 AM

    Is today "L" for "lard"? I lose track so easily.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Pat HattApril 9, 2015 at 7:10 AM

    And thus everyone has now had a look into the bottomless pit of despair

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 10:57 PM

      Yes, Pat, but we haven't seen bottom yet. We're only at H.

      Delete
  11. JoanneApril 9, 2015 at 7:41 AM

    tough to top the comments already given. I like hiding insider trade secrets, and perhaps a donut to bribe cops

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 10:57 PM

      That's hilarious, Joanne. I like the donut idea. I have enough room for donuts in my Hideaway. Martha could fit the whole donut shop in hers.

      Delete
  12. RuthApril 9, 2015 at 9:40 AM

    Old Martha's got some heft. Those Cuisinarts are heavy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 10:58 PM

      True. She has to be carried by forklift when she stores Cuisinarts in her Hideaway, Ruth.

      Delete
  13. stephen HayesApril 9, 2015 at 9:44 AM

    I'll never again be able to think of Martha without being reminded of these posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 10:59 PM

      Then my job is done. Wait, we're only on I. Never mind.

      Delete
  14. LD MastersonApril 9, 2015 at 11:23 AM

    Oh crap. Now you've got me contemplation my rolls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 10:59 PM

      Where do you think I got this idea, LD? I've stored a salad bowl or two in mine.

      Delete
  15. Empty Nest InsiderApril 9, 2015 at 11:36 AM

    LOVED this one! I'm still laughing from the picture to all of the practical uses of the Hefty Hideaway! This has been my favorite Martha tale thus far! H for Hysterical!!!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 11:00 PM

      Thanks, Julie. This is my favorite too. I haven't been able to stop laughing today.

      Delete
  16. L. Diane WolfeApril 9, 2015 at 12:20 PM

    That's worse than a muffin top.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 11:01 PM

      Yeah, she's got more than one muffin top hanging over her nether regions, Diane.

      Delete
  17. CWMartinApril 9, 2015 at 2:39 PM

    Because storage is so important...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 11:02 PM

      When you're sharing insider trade secrets and handcuffs, CW, it's a must.

      Delete
  18. BirgitApril 9, 2015 at 3:18 PM

    She could also get that fat taken off and use the lard for a new pie recipe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 11:02 PM

      Very good, Birgit. Great point. You have me laughing again and again.

      Delete
  19. Al PenwasserApril 9, 2015 at 7:30 PM

    So THAT'S where Gary Coleman got off to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 11:03 PM

      Oh Al, that's hysterical. It's so weird and twisted that only you and I can appreciate this Coleman banter.

      Delete
  20. Baby SisterApril 9, 2015 at 8:45 PM

    Lo!!! Oh, that is hilarious. Way to use space, Martha.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Theresa MahoneyApril 9, 2015 at 10:34 PM

    OMG. This reminds me of one of my sisters nasty boyfriends. We were driving down the toll road and my husband said "Oh. I need a nickle. Does anyone have one?" The boyfriend said "I do!" Then proceeded to pull one from his belly button. It was a total WTF moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 9, 2015 at 11:04 PM

      Okay, that is gross. I hope your husband washed his hands thoroughly after taking that nickel. So funny and so WTF. Thanks, Theresa.

      Delete
  22. Rhonda AlbomApril 10, 2015 at 1:41 AM

    Oh my, silly women, that's not where handcuffs go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 10, 2015 at 8:11 AM

      Giggles. Yeah, she's not too bright. Is she?
      Great comment, Rhonda!

      Delete
  23. Anthony J. LangfordApril 10, 2015 at 4:12 AM

    I'm never going to get over that image... and the suggested one *shudder*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comApril 10, 2015 at 8:12 AM

      It only gets scarier, Anthony. On behalf of Stewy, my apologies.

      Delete

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