And I Wrote This Book.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Martha Stewart's Lopez Look-alike Line: A-Z Challenge

Hello, I'm Martha Stewart. A woman has needs, so I thought I'd try the J Lo look. I designed her dress, wore it, and then hung out (in more ways than one) with Meryl Streep to complain about how unfairly paid women are. It was a splendid time. Now, I'm going in search of a good *bleep.* Oh, I partnered with Walmart to promote the J Lo Look-Alike Line. You can buy one of these dresses for $1 million.Ta ta! Or should I say "Ta tas!"? Martha attempts a smile, we think.

36 comments:

  1. More cheese-grater images.
    I think I may have thrown up a little in my mouth as well.
    Taste she doesn't have. Style (in any positive way) she doesn't have. Sheer unadulterated gall? By the bucket load. And perhaps that is what is leaking...

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    1. You're a phenomenal commenter, EC. Love it. Thank you.

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  2. She leaks when she runs? The only thing I can think of is a lactating breast. All other thoughts get censored by my brain.

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  3. Walmart seems the perfect choice for the new line.

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    1. She's reaching out to the masses this way, or so she believes.

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  4. How many pairs of Spanx did it take to squeeze Matha's belly and butt into JLo's dress?

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    1. Oy vey, she also needed one of the Kartashwaste bags...It wasn't a pretty sight, I'm sure. I stayed away from the dressing room, as far away as possible.

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  5. One million at WalMart? That excludes 99.9999999999% of the clientele.

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    1. Good point, Alex. She's too bad at math to realize this.

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  6. A post referencing Jennifer Lopez and no mention of posteriors? That's either colossal restraint or horrific oversight. I'm going with restraint.

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    1. You're always good for giving me the benefit of the doubt, Pickleope Von Pickleope. I appreciate it.

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  7. Only one million dollars? She's certainly trying to reach out to all of us commoners, isn't she? :)

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  8. Wow she's really rocking the J Lo look. lol Of course that's not for everyone....

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  9. Leakage? Probably what passed for her brains...

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  10. I am thinking I am in love with this version on MS, do you think we could have coffee someday? We can meet at the WALMART cafe and I can get her 50 cent hot dog with all the fixin'...

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    1. I think that can be arranged, Jeremy. She really likes wieners.

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  11. Hmmm even if the price was low, she'd be hard pressed to sell any to the half naked people of Walmart

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  12. Just Jenny from the Block vs. Martha from the Cell Block. Her Wal-Mart line could feature stripes.

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    1. Good one Joanne - you made me laugh as I was about to write my comment to Robyn.

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  13. As long as there's room in the caboose, I guess that's cool.

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  14. At Walmart? If you had a million dollars would you shop at Walmart?

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  15. Martha, stop trying to imitate J Lo. She's becoming little more than two over exposed breasts.

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  16. Oh poor Ma-Stew-those sequins must be crying and trying to run away. She could try selling that dress in Canada at Target...oops maybe not:)

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  17. "Martha attempts a smile, we think." Did her face break?

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    1. I think so, but it's hard to tell. It looks about the same. She did start to leak a little too.

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  18. So J Lo will be sporting navy blazers this year, possibly with back cut-outs? Gee, this will be exciting. I don't like J Lo either.

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  19. The perfect look for the People of Wal-Mart. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

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  20. I smell scandal here. I thought Martha was a Kmart partner through and through. Mmmm Hmmm. Martha stepping out on her first sugar daddy?

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  21. I'm glad Martha had a nice time whining with Meryl! I didn't like the dress on J Lo, but it's kinda growing on me on Martha! Wait a minute, now I made it sound like a fungus.

    Julie

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  22. If I actually listened to her I wouldn't be able to afford anything!! Thank heavens I have some common sense.

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  23. Wow, youve been busy with all of these posts. Very clever!

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