JLo dazzles in glamorous, intricately sequined, multi-colored in shimmering shades of pink and lavender accented by subtle splashes of silver diamonds, fit and sexy as ever, dance ware.
Robyn, in torn jeans and a tank top that reveals her wide and low-hanging boobies, plus newly excited nipples, strolls over to greet her while the one audience member, Ben, nods off. They shake hands.
Robyn: Sorry um, we're super casual here.
*All JLo quotes are real.*
JLo: I judge people on how they smell, not how they look.
Robyn sniffs her right underarm, realizing she forgot to use deodorant this morn. Stay away from me, girlfriend, she jokes but not really.
JLo keeps a smile. Robyn: You and Ben have been married 4 times, in the past month or so. How many times have you actually married, I mean, to different men?
JLo: I've been married three times and once was nine months and once was 11 months so I don't really count those.
Robyn: You don't count the short ones? Robyn holds up her index finger and thumb, 4 or so inches apart, bringing them closer and closer as she speaks. Girlfriend, I disregard the stunted ones too.
JLo nods. I believe in love. Robyn: Did you just make that up all by yourself?
JLo: It's a shame to call someone a 'diva' because they work harder than everybody else.
Robyn: Wait, harder than everybody else? Harder than the 18 year old barely-adult soldiers who fight on the front lines for our freedoms day and night, month after month, year after year? Harder than the single parents with three or more kids to feed and clothe and house after their spouse, who was their provider, abandoned the family to shack up with the hot, young blonde he hired to be his Robyn uses air quotes "assistant"? Harder than--
JLo blows a kiss and dances off the stage in some maneuvers that make Robyn's nipples perk up like never before.
Robyn to the audience: Wake up, Ben! You didn't re-re-remarry a smart one. But she's an incredible dancer. Damn. She's smokin', at 53 too. She smiles, Ben. Try it sometime like your wife does, and like your bestie with personality, Matt Damon. Talk about a hottie, am I right? If you want to see the real talents you married, here's a snippet. I thought you should know, Mr. J Lo. You're welcome, dude.
