Wednesday, April 29, 2015

The Zen of Martha Stewart's Adult Lifestyle Combination Package: Oy Vey, It's Finally Over!!

Hi, I'm Martha Stewart, and what a month it's been. Let's take a look back. Shall we? You've seen my Hefty Heffer Hideaway, with enough flappy fat in which to stash a Cuisinart. You caught glimpses from my scandalous sex tape series. I sported my very manly chest, then belched and grabbed my crotch, when on Testosterone. I cleaned up inside with the handy dandy Vaginal Vac. Don't forget that a clean beaver always gets more wood. Last night, some Yearlong Yuletide cheer did me in. Best of all, Arnold thinks it's great. And so do you. Admit it. I'll sell it all to you -- the whole alphabet's worth of items combined in this lovely Zen of Martha Stewart's Adult Lifestyle Combination Package -- for $70 million. Just buy it. You know you want to. *Wink.* Is this *bleep'n* thing finally over? *Bleep* That little *bleep* who runs this blog. She's a sick *bleep*! Oh, hi. I didn't know the cameras were still rolling. Tootles!

35 comments:

  1. Martha owes you BIG! Don't let here talk sh*t about you!!

    You can find me here:
    ClarabelleRant

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  2. Well we all need to take a bath wash away all the lovely Martha off ourselves... you provided us with plenty of pleasing parodies..

    "Z" we made it... thank you!
    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2015]

    There's no earthly way of knowing.
    Which direction we are going!

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    Come Visit: You know you want to know if me or Hollywood... is Nuts?

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  3. Loved the Martha series! Very creative Robyn. Now I will get zen by bleaching my brain of all of those nasty images of that b*tch.

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  4. From A to Z with Manic Martha..shudder....congrats on getting to the end of this monster challenge.

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  5. Congratulations on finishing A-Z!!

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  6. You picked such a fun person to use as a theme (and one day she'll hunt you down and..and…and..make you a killer pie). Congrats for making it all the through. Job well done!!

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  7. Congrats, you made it all the way through, and kept us laughing... and feeling just a bit sick... all the way through. Oh, and you gave me a new theme song: 'I'm gonna wash that b*tch right outta my hair!'

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  8. Congrats, Robyn! This is one of the best A-Z Challenge series I've read this year. Certainly the funniest. And the smuttiest! Yay smut.

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  9. Zen costs $70 million? I may have to pass even though that seems like a bargain.

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  10. congrats on the zowie wowie life of Martha. All secrets revealed - way too many. Next step is zombie Martha. Super duper job Robyn - I've enjoyed this month a lot and you truly made it an adventure to read. You crack me up!!!

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  11. Wow! Made it to "Z!" I am truly impressed that you were able to do the entire Alphabet with Martha Stewart as the topic.

    I now know so much about Martha... perhaps a bit more than I wanted to know!
    ;-)

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  12. Thanks for the fun, even if it was at poor Martha's expense.

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  13. I hope you get a good kickback from sales after all this free PR and scarring of the mind

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  14. A bargain for 70 million. I hope Martha cuts you a percentage of those profits, which are sure to be rolling in hand over fist.

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  15. $70 *gulp* million
    That's a tad high for my LIFETIME pocketbook ;)

    Congrats on making it to Z! :)

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  16. Goodbye, Martha, I'm going to miss you badly enough to clean my wood utensils with your Vaginal Vac. Oy Vey for the Vac!

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  17. It's over? We don't get to see any more? Crushed. But then again, my retirement fund is almost spent down. Whew! Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

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  18. You're all such a playful, warm-loving bunch, and I love you for indulging my weirdness. I mean, for putting up with that sick and twisted elitist over-sexed snob, Ms. Stewart. Thanks to my new friends too, Jeff Bushman, Bookworm, Clarabelle, and whomever else I'm forgetting. You're not forgotten.

    I can say without doubt that (1) these were the most outrageously funny comments I've gotten in my 6 years of blogging and (2) I laughed more heartily this month than any other. Because of you.

    And I broke 700! Woohoo! I credit N's Naughty Prison Guard and O's Oprah Organizer for it. Arnold thinks that's great.

    Love and laughs and a stash of chocolate!

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  19. Oh damn, is it too late to order a god lame` corsett?

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  20. It's over already!? I'm going to miss you poking fun at dear old Martha every day!

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  21. Oh Martha-only 70 million? I can pay that in monopoly money. All your stuff has been used by you and I don't think even javax will clean it. Martha must need to sleep after all this:)

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  22. Ha. Yeah, right. Good luck with that Martha. Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

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  23. Oh my God, what an epic haha - im sorry i didnt get to them all.. youve been so busy! What a great laugh though.. maybe you should print them out and send them to her as a book haha

    Brilliant stuff Robyn! xo

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  24. Maybe you could still bring Martha back once in a while, so we don't have to start a support group. It's not gonna be easy. Thanks for the best adult education class I ever had, Robyn!

    Julie

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  25. What? No picture of the Queen?

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  26. Hey Martha, I still don't know who you are. Lucky me, I reckon.

    What next, Robyn? Eleven months of reflection posts about the amazing, gosh darn, giggly fun alphabet challenge?

    Hugs and have a lovely weekend.

    Gary :)
    x

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    Replies
    1. We have to write a thesis, single-spaced, 12 point Times New Roman, 25+ pages, Gary. Dangit. Why didn't I listen to you?

      Love to you.

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  27. "A clean beaver always gets more wood."
    Indeed. :)
    Day: made.

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  28. Best smut A-Z series EVUH! And all the products only cost $70 million. Hold on while I get my credit card... :)

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  29. That was quite a month with Martha! Congratulations for completing the challenge!

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  30. Ok Robyn, I'll admit it, I am too much of a prude for your Martha posts. Sorry I dropped out of following your challenge about half way through. I am hoping you are headed back to being you. Congrats on completing.

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