Santa Erotica, Merry Christmas

Dear Sillies,

Whatever you celebrate, and even if you don't, may you experience great joy this season and in the coming year. Be naughty too!

I love you.

Celebration of Lights! Happy Hanukah!

Dear Sillies,

It's Hanukah, the Festival of Lights! May each of us shine so brightly within our respective spheres that our collective brilliance touches the Holy Land and all points on earth.

Love to you!

Be warm. Be well. Shine brightly.

Year's End Comment Collage Starring YOU!

Dearest Sillies,

I didn't wanna type "Year's end" in the title. But I'm not one to deny reality. Sheesh. December comes more quickly every year, am I right? Anyway, here's a fun-filled collage of your fantastically un-filtered comments over the past months. Please enjoy. Know that I love you too.

And the countdown to 1 MILLION continues. In 39,000+ more views I'll be a millionaire!  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Birgit said I still love rockets..full of sugar that melts down my throat fast. Freud would have a field day with me!Elephant's Child said The only Barbie that ever excited my interest was Trailer Trash Barbie. 

Mike said It would be quite a stretch to make it around the tether ball pole. 

Alex J. Cavanaugh said You are the master of those!

Debra She Who Seeks said Grumpy is GAY? Had me fooled. I had money riding on Happy. Elizabeth Seckman said I won't stand for dwarf icing.

Pat Hatt said Well he's being a wanker if there ever was one.

Debbie D.  said Yup! 😝😝 That's the price of internet "fame" I guess.

Elizabeth Seckman said Hopefully Hilary isn't as effective at blowing as a Monica.

Birgit said The female phys-ed teacher had an affair with the prom queen.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said No, I think it really was an eight-way.

Cloudia said What an imagination! Glad you stumbled by my place so I could find this garden of yours. Debra She Who Seeks said No creepsterino is a match for you, Robyn! Romance Book Haven said Hot and spicy treats here!

Mary Kirkland said All those innuendoes. lol I love it.

Her Royal Highness said It is well known that you, Robyn, are a strumpet of the HIGHEST ORDER, not a common guttersnipe as those slurs suggest.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said Those guys are desperate. Avoid!!

Joanne said I may have to call your guy - he looks quite menacing. 

Alex J. Cavanaugh said I get porn stars following me on Twitter. 

Moving with Mitchell said I like the subtlety of this one.

Thanksgiving Erotica

My Darling Sillies,

It's time. May gratitude be easily achieved by you this Thanksgiving and always.

Love you.

InSanity for the WIN, WIN, WIN! 2nd Place in BookFest!

Dear Sillies,

We interrupt our Halloween "treats" to bring a burst of personal excitement. 

I know, it doesn't look official. The certificate and stickers are en route, though.

I WON! I WON! I WON! 2nd place and Honorable Mention for InSanity in BookFest Fall '23 for Nonfiction, Mental Health! WOOT! Both my memoirs (this and Woman on the Verge of Paradise) are award winning babes. 

One never knows where life will take you. I began this journey on blogspot 14 years ago. Here I met my good friend and editor, Bryan Pedas* of the former A Beer for the Shower blog, and current blogger, HRH, who spent countless hours helping me fine-tune my writing. Wait, did I say HRH? No, no, no, that feisty dead cat didn't help at all. It's her servant woman, DebraSheWhoSeeks. Sorry for the mix-up, Deb. Do forgive me.  

*Stay tuned for the extraordinary entertainment Bryan's been busily crafting. 

Congratulations,

You Are a Winner in

The BookFest® Awards!

You are receiving recognition with a BookFest Award for outstanding literary achievement.

We're thrilled to honor you with a BookFest Award, recognizing your exceptional literary achievement. Your submission was meticulously evaluated by The BookFest judging team, passing through multiple stages of review. Plus, many of the esteemed BookFest Bellwethers lent their expertise to ensure the integrity and thoroughness of the judging process.

The caliber of entries received this season was truly impressive, making your win all the more noteworthy. We're deeply appreciative of your contribution to the literary world. At The BookFest, we hold a strong belief in the transformative power of storytellers. Your award underscores your significant impact on readers across the globe.

Halloweenierotica!

It's TIME, my Dearest of Sillies!

*Insert maniacal, naughty laughter.*

Rainbows, Butterflies, and She Who Seeks

My Dear Sillies,

There's so much love here in blogland, and in the universe. It's important to remember this - especially with the atrocities going on in the Middle East. 

Sometimes the best we can do is send out love (and/or prayers, blessings, earnest hope for real change). Though this feels dismally insufficient, it's the most humane option, and it's desperately needed. 

"Evil exists in the part. Perfection exists in the whole. I can choose this latter view, not that I always should, but I always can." -Hugh Prather

Having a balanced perspective is both healthy and necessary. That said, let's shift toward rainbows. I was gifted with a most beautiful glass rainbow piece by blogland's fantabulous Debra She Who Seeks.   How gorgeous is this? Answer: More gorgeous than it appears here. It's Debra's first attempt at glass work. I told her that I love it, so she went to the trouble and expense of shipping it to me from Canada. I'm a lucky gal!

Where there are rainbows, there are butterflies. This one posed for me for over 20 minutes a couple days ago. To my delight.

The butterfly is a sign of freedom, transformation, hope, and faith. 

May your days be filled with equally beautiful sights and acts of loving kindness. 

Love you, my Silliest of Sillies.

Life by Chocolate, Fiddler on The Roof

My Dear Lovey Sillies,

Sorry I've been so absent. 

As you can see, though, I'm a survivor!

And I had the pleasure of seeing a theatrical production of Fiddler on The Roof this weekend. Our local cast did a wonderful, heartfelt job. Have you seen the play or film? The music is unforgettable. 

TRADITION!

Third, what's up with the guys who find out you're single (by, for example, spying on your Facebook page) and try to befriend and/or re-friend and/or re-date you? Asking for myself. Cringe, right? 

Have a good week, as Fall begins. Yippee! 

Happy 5784 to the Jewish world!

I love you!

Heartache Tonight and Beyond

Dear Sillies,

I'd been quiet about JT because things were going so smoothly and giddily. Our chemsitry was comfortable and fun; our attraction, consistently strong. He'd cook for me several times a week. We trekked to the beach, to San Francisco Bay, and many local destinations. We also just stayed in and played Scrabble and other indoor games. Wink. All in all, I've felt more joyous love for JT than I've felt for any other man in my life. 

BUT (You knew this was comin') in the past month or so, he'd distanced himself and failed to communicate. My every attempt to talk only made things worse. 

BUT, BUT the lovey-dovey moments and messaging continued even through this Friday evening, for 2.25 YEARS. Despite this, it's gonna be another heartache tonight and tomorrow night and the next night and so on. 

When I dropped by his home yesterday, this discourse ensued:

"I was going to call you," his tone, stoic. "I'm going to stay in tonight." 

"Okay, alright." Disappointed but not surprised, I ask: "Anything else?"

"No. That's all."

"Well what if I have something to say?"

"Go ahead."

"I don't know how to talk to you anymore." A bucket of tears pours down my cheeks. "Do you even want to keep me in your life?"

"I DON'T KNOW." 

You don't f*ckin know?! "You have no idea how much you're hurting me."

My friends, I got no explanation, no kindness, no apology, none of the thoughtfulness that I love/d so much about JT. Not even a lousy t-shirt with the logo "He doesn't want this." Dude simply reiterated that he has nothing to say. He doesn't want "this."

I know I deserve better, my Dear Sillies.  

I love you, and I know you're here and there and wherever for me through this heartache. Please and thank you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a happier note: Happy 12th Anniversary to the IWSG! I'm into my 14th year of blogging and even more exciting, I'm slowly approaching 1 MILLION VIEWS. I can't wait to become a millionaire! We'll celebrate in sweet style. Please do stick around. 

Thanks to the Rebels, Happy Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day, my Dear Sillies! 

Glenn-David, Jonathan, Robyn, Dawn in our Rebel station wagon, circa 1973. This photo's been seen hundreds of thousands of times - YAY! Thanks to the rebels, it was stolen from my site for youtube videos about the 1970's. Photo by our dad, Jerry Engel. 

Thanks to the Rebels

Robyn Alana Engel

Thanks to the rebels

We can vote as we choose
Assert an opinion
Exchange global views.

Thanks to the rebels
 Faith is a choice
Workers have rights
The young, given voice.

Thanks to the rebels
We've freedom of press

We can fight to end claims 

that censorship's best

Thanks to the rebels
We are truly free
In so many ways 
that we fail to see.

Thanks to the rebels!

Interview with Snow White's Seven Dwarfs, Disney Short-sightedness

Dear Sillies,

Please be safe and well, my friends. I mean, Hilary's a threat and all. (#Bernie4ever!)

As a person who's a little...well, little, I feel for the dwarfs. They didn't even get to audition for the Snow White movie. So I brought these cuties onto our stage for an interview.

Let's give a small warm welcome to...

The 7 dwarfs prance onto our stage in follow-the-leader fashion singing, "Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to..." Robyn stands in front of Doc to stall their movement. Hi guys! They freeze.

Grumpy to Robyn: Get out of the way, tramp!

Sleepy falls down snoring. 

Robyn: Oh, sweeties, I understand your upset. You were short-changed by Disney. They replaced you with stupid magical spirits.

Dopey (who can't even spell his name correctly for the group photo above): Wanna smoke? I got extra. Dopey shows Robyn a fistful of weed that he keeps stored in his lantern.

Happy, eying Robyn up and down: Hey, you're spendid. Too tall for me but weehee! I love this place!

Doc takes out a tape-measure and stretches it along Robyn's right calf. By my estimations, if you shrink three inches, you'll qualify for dwarf status. 

Grumpy: *Bleep* this *bleep*!

Robyn: I agree. She winks at Grumpy.

Grumpy: Don't flirt with me, b****! I don't  swing that way. 

Robyn: No, I, well, let's get to the real question. Gentlemen, what really happened between you and Snow White on those wild nights in the woods? 

Bashful turns red. 

Doc and Happy give each other small high-fives and then launch into a series of synchronized little pelvic thrusts. Bow chicka bow wow ho, ho, ho, ho!

Sneezy: Aachooo!

Robyn finds Bashful snuggled up to her kneecaps, shaded from the stagelights by Robyn's big bosoms.

Grumpy makes a beeline for the exit. *Bleep* this *bleep*!

Robyn, to the audience: Sorry to cut things short. We've some micro-aggressions to deal with backstage.   

She sighs and closes the stage curtains.

Naughty Teacher, TeachErotica

Dear Sillies, 

It's back to school time, and I'm a strong proponent of higher education. Learning is good. Learning by doing, even better. Gentle yet decisive individualized hands on guidance (between consenting adults, of course), as good as it gets. 

Keep a smile and a stash of the good stuff (chocolate or whatever sates your palate).

PS So sorry. Martha (Dad bod and all) had to make an appearance.

Love you.

Go Away, Creepsterinos! Stop Stalking Me

My Dear Sillies,

I’m far beyond annoyed with internet creepsters. From now on, this will resemble my discourse with every creepsterino who “friends” me:

Creepsterino: Hello 👋 it’s nice to meet you and how are you doing today?

THEN, before I respond, but after I block him, which apparently

didn't take: Can you understand what I am saying?

Me: Yes. Since you just want to be friends like all the others, I need to know if you are honest. Send me your full legal name, plus credit card number with expiration date and CVC code. (Hint: This code is on the back of the card; you need to turn it over.) If you don't have a credit card, don’t worry! I’ll just take your social security number. Next, my boyfriend will run a security clearance check within 72 hours! Sorry for the delay, but he’s screening 286 men before you. A woman must be careful. Surely such a nice, intellectual man like yourself can appreciate that.

Me, before he responds: For the sake of full transparency, this is my boyfriend. Can you understand what I am saying?

Be well, my Darling Sillies.

May you have no creepsterino visits. If you do, I'll send my sweetheart over to make sure that said creepsterino can understand. Afterall, that's what friends are for. 

Love, hugs, and chocolate!

Step Aside Barbie World, Bring Back Skipper! But Stick Around, Ryan Gosling!

Dear Sillies,

What's with all the Barbie World hulabaloo? Actually, it does look to be an entertaining movie. Thing is, I wasn't a Barbie girl. First is the worst, afterall. But the second sister? She's far and away the best. Bring back Skipper!

My brother cut my Skipper's hair when we were youngins. I was, naturally, enraged. Horrified. Never let it go (clearly). Skipper's hair would NEVER grow back. Sigh. Now, I'd love to give bro a high-five. I mean, come on. She's cute with a bob. It was a brilliant move, far ahead of his time. 

Skipper's the cuter, smarter, sassier of 'em. Yet the second child gets neglected. Maybe because she's just plain hotter AND cooler than Barbie. And that streak of purple hair puts Barbie's basic blonde to shame. Look at her. She obviously has more personality too. 

Let's not forget the other Skipper played by Alan Hale, Captain Jonas Grumby, from Gilligan's Island. "Skippppperrrr!" shouted by Gilligan every twelve minutes. So manly and competent, he never thought about a way to get off the island. I think he had the hots for MaryAnn. We all did. Am I right? She looked like Skipper!

In sum, I'm campaigning for a Skipper movie in Alan Hale's blessed memory. Ryan Gosling gets to play Ken in this one too. He's adorable. See his dancing on the Mickey Mouse Club in the 1990s. Charming cutie!

Naturally, I'll play Skipper, who'll go more ginger for this to-be hit. Can't wait.

Cheers, chocolates, and love to you!

Happy Independence Day, John Hancock Erotica!

Dear Sillies,
Happy Independence Day. 
Wherever you are, may you appreciate and enjoy your many freedoms.
Sorry to bring back this unsightly cockamany!

Love you.

Chocolate, What It's All About!

Dear Sillies,

Let's get back to the meaning of life: Chocolate.

My oh my, do I have some divinity to share with you! It's Nick's Swedish-style Triple Choklad Light Ice Cream. Much, much healthier than other ice creams and deep fried twinkies. There's NO ADDED SUGAR, my friends. Bonus.  

But how does it taste? Divine. Really. It's malty, rich, light, addictive...I love it. My beau and I finished it within two days. And we exercised restraint, I tell ya. Re-straint. (Yeah, he made strawberry milkshakes for us in between spoonfuls of this goodness.)

It costs approx what you'd pay for Haagen-Dazs or Ben and Jerry's ($6-7 per pint). Kinda pricey, but cheaper than one anti-depressant tablet. Am I right? Sweeter and more flavorful too. Nick's has swirls and chips of chocolate. I can't recommend it enough, and I recommend you keep it away from me, else I'll devour it before you even get a chance. 

I give this a 10! It's truly worthy.

In other news, I'm being extra indulgent these days because I turn older this week. 

Can you guess how old?

Clue #1: Celebrity John Cusack and I share a Birthday (same day, month, and year).

Clue #2: We're 16 months older than the legendary, annoying, Julia Roberts.

Clue #3: It's a saucy number.

Love you, Sillies!

COMMENT COLLAGE Starring YOU!

Dearest Sillies,

I've once again collected and randomly organized your comments from the past several months. As always, I very much appreciate your silliness.

Please do keep a smile and chocolate (or your favorite treat) handy at all times.

Love you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joanne said Glad the communication is going well (wink,wink, nudge, nudge) and that Bernie's not too jealous. 

Debra She Who Seeks said Rub that Blarney Stone til it shines!

Elephant's Child said A sight like that means that breakfast here has been delayed while I recover.

Mike said I sent you the picture.

Birgit said Listen her sagging tatas probably can hold up a soaking wet towel by now.

Mike said Is there a line? Or can I just get a ticket for a specific time?

Jeff said The smoothness of her skin may be from photo shop or from those years she spent out of the sun and behind bars!

G. B. Miller said I think every teenage boy just vomited in their mouth a little bit.

Elizabeth Seckman said Not being a hater when I ask, what the hell is the gold thing she's wearing with it? Who would wear that to the beach or the pool?

Al Penwasser said How the mighty have fallen. Bloody 'ell.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said Yeah, I want that kind of boring life. 

Debra She Who Seeks said I see from the photos online that Martha has learned MY secret of strategic camouflage and calculated positioning of limbs! Never underestimate those. Oh, and good lighting!

Mike said I would love to smell your lovely rose today.

Elizabeth Seckman said I better go check my heart rate...

Al Penwasser said Yes, I'm not a well man.

L. Diane Wolfe said I'll dance to that.

Mary Kirkland said Whew, this was thick with the double entendre's. lol I love it.

RhiMe, Don't Tell My Boyfriend!

Hi, Dears,

I'll do anything to upstage Martha. Please don't tell my beau about this. It was just a kiss. I mean, it was just a photo opp. That's all. I'm making a socially relevant statement about body positivity, people! Got a huge belly? Be proud! Stick it out til that belly button can be poked into by all (consensually, of course). I'm a respectful lady.   

Oh, and don't tell my beau about this either: I'm planning a big surprise for his 25th sober Birthday! 25 years of sobriety! Can you believe it? Are any of you on that journey? All power to you, if so. It's been approximately 7 years of no alcohol for me. Not because I have a problem. I have MANY problems, as you might suspect. But alcohol isn't one of them. I just decided to hone my fixation on food sugars in the form of chocolate, as you might suspect.

Love and gentle care and trust that you'll keep these secrets.

Robyn

Martha Stewart, Sports Illustrated Oldest of Old Models

Dear Sillies,

Serious announcement: Martha Stewart is today's Sports Illustrated pinup girl.  

I asked Martha if she wore the same garb as our joint* Christmas card in 1994. *By joint, I mean that we shared one and some spiked eggnogg before the shoot. Martha was much..."looser", shall we say? back in the day. 

"Oh, gaw-d no. That was just awful," Martha retorted. I mean, I agree. I used photoshop to drop me into the photo to slenderize the ole hag. It didn't help. 

Actual quotes are yellowed.

Okay, yeah, color me jealous. The 81 year old self-infatuated, criminal prima donna looks hot! I can't upload the cover photo, because of all sorts of legal sh*t. But if you have a thing for ancient women whose bellies are restrained with the same amount of protection necessitated by Prince William's bald head, kindly make the purchase and let us know what you think. 

When called for an interview, Snoop Dogg responded with a staunch and lengthy, enthusiastic bark! 

"It's a testament to good living," adds the upper echelonic iconic senior with senior status symbols of the highest status, who's a privileged diva criminal millionaire (or-is-it-billionaire?) completely detached from all commoners everywhere. 

Martha accents her moment of glorious-albeit-limited exposure by stating "The whole aging thing is so boring." Sure, sweets. You're rather boring. May we all live to that boring age of 81 and beyond and be able to enjoy a fraction of your wealth so we can have a minute of that boring good life you so easily and fortuitously advise. YAWN!

I would like to thank my sweet boyfriend of almost 2 years (Can you believe it? Me neither!) for news of this story. I told him last night that I was desperately scraping the barrel's bottom to find something to post. We're talking Bennifer scraps. He upgraded or downgraded or side-graded things towards this rich boredom.

May Pole Erotica!

Dear Silliest of Sillies,

It's May 1st, and you know what that means.

Yep, pause to smell a lovely rose today, and dance enthusiastically around a sturdy pole tonight.

Love ya, my silly ones.

King Charles III and his Side Dish, Katy Perry

Dear Sillies,

It's official. Katy Perry will perform for the royal coronation. King Charles really, really likes her. He'd appointed Katy to fulfill the role of British Asian Trust Ambassador. I know, right? So weird! 

Guess what! I invited this duo to our studio today, for highly enlightened discourse. They said, "Yep. Sure. We'll do anything together." Note that these are all actual quotes, excepting the last sentence. Enjoy. I mean, apologies.

Robyn: Audience, let's give a lukewarm welcome to the royal Charles and his royal British Asian side salad, Katy Perry!The curtain lifts, revealing Katy standing blatantly in front of Charles, his right hand suspiciously close to Katy's derriere. The room goes silent, as King Charles' escort service, I mean Camilla, the "King's consort", glares vindictively at Katy from front row, center. 

Charles III eyes Katy up and down: Father told me that if I ever met a lady in a dress like yours, I must look her straight in the eyes.

Katy grabs her boobs gleefully and boasts: I went from zero to my own hero!

Charles III to Camilla: Do you seriously expect me to be the first Prince of Wales in history not to have a mistress? 

Katy: I have confidence because my research shows that I should just really trust my instincts. With that, Katy drops the curtain, and strangely animalistic barking noises ensue. Oh wait, that's Camilla. 

Robyn: Will the atrocity of British Royalty mixed with the dim-wittedness of Katy Perry, British Asian Ambassador, King Charles' side salad, continue to soil Queen Elizabeth's blessed memory? We can only hope...not.

Springtime Erotica & Original Sinning

Dearest Sillies,

Well, it's officially Spring, but it doesn't quite feel that way. Does it?
Maybe this will help.

Love ya.

St. PatErotica! Slay Yer Shalayleigh

My Dear Sillies,

The Ides of March hath struck so...

I don't eat the corned beef and cabbage deal. Do ye? 

Other things excite me, like Bernie and Ryan and my guy's shalayleigh. We're doing well, on that note. Luck be on our side. No kids, no exes, and a short commute between us--phew. Communication takes ongoing work and faith, as ye know. 

Much luck and love to you all, Sillies, on Saint Patty's and every day!  

TikTok and Insta Fame, Rear Death Seat of a 1970s Station Wagon

Dear Sillies,

My young siblings and I garnered TikTok and Instagram fame. Yippee! Somehow a photo of us in the backseat of our Rebel station wagon, circa 1974, got grabbed for this fun video. You'll see us in the first group shot after the girl in the initial scene. You'll recognize me immediately, I'm certain. (I posted this picture years ago here, and it's on my Facebook sidebar.)

Were you lucky to have one of those rear facing back seats? It was my spot, and nobody argued. I'd have innocent fun there on long drives--holding up pictures of a cartoon man sweating, with the question "Are you hot?" I got a few chuckles. Those were the days. Am I right?

Be well, Sillies.

Hugs!

Weird Book Titles & Rainy Day Miscellany

Dear Sillies,

I hope this finds you safe, comfortable, and well.

For your rainy day entertainment, or my rainy day entertainment if it's not rainy out your way, I've a few weird book covers to show you ~                                                              

    Poor pussy. Next she'll do a downward doggie with it.

Living with Crazy Buttocks? I don't understand.

One of only two reviews: 3.0 out of 5 stars

 Three Stars

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on December 12, 2016

Verified Purchase

Bought it for the title only - the inside is trash!!!

And a meme but not a book title, though it should be:

  Who can argue this? Right?

Anti-Valentine's Day Contest Winner!!

Dearest Silliest of the best of Sillies, 

'Twas another fabulous Anti-VDay fest!

Thank you to all who entered, but no thanks to HRH for disqualifying Debra She Who seeks before Debra even had a chance. 

Our winner and new champion, who truly killed it, and will thus receive a very sweet mailing from our administrative team: 

Entry #1:

With you dead,

I'm alone in my bed.

ready to enjoy Valentine's Day.

At last.

Elephant's Child

CONGRATULATIONS, Elephant's Child! You deserve this and that empty bed. We all love you. 

Have a sweet, bittersweet, OR sour day, my Sillies.

Whatever you do, don't buy Hershey today or any day. (See Joanne's entry in post below.) 

Second place goes to our belovedly hilarious Birgit! See hers and the other wonderfully hateful entries too.

I love you, my darlings. 

GET OUT THE VOTE! Anti-Valentine's Day Annual Contest!

Dear Sillies,
You have five fabulous choices. Vote early. Vote often. But you can only vote once, and for only one entry -- the one that's your favorite Anti-Valentine's Day sentiment. 

Polls are officially open and will close by day's end on Monday, 2/13/23. 

Thank you.

Entry #1:

With you dead,
I'm alone in my bed.
ready to enjoy Valentine's Day.
At last.

Elephant's Child

Entry #2:

Your heart, a blender, and I'm ready for the day.

Mike

Entry #3:

No flowers
No chocolate
Just Minions
You fool!      L. Diane Wolfe

Entry #4:

Somewhere my love, there will be songs to sing 

Although not with you because you stink! 

Dumb ding-a-ling!              Birgit

Entry #5:

Love is a killer
It taints the brain
Hershey kisses are poison
Valentine's Day - insane.

Joanne

It's February, and You Know What That Means!

It's February, my Sillies!

You know what that means, right? Yep, it's time to rev up your creative, hateful anti-Valentine's Day braincells. Life by Chocolate's Annual Valentine's Hatefest is on! You'll vote on the winner, and they'll receive a very generous sweet treat package.

• Post on your blog with a link to mine, or post in the comments below, your silliest and most hateful anti-Valentine's sentiment in up to 16 words.
• It's fine if you've won before. But you may only submit 2 entries max. 
• Must be a Life by Chocolate follower. 

Now, to get you in the mood (for something unmentionable):

Review of Reviews of Celebrity Books

Dear Sillies,

How are you, my friends? It seems as though the New Year's celebrations were looong ago, am I right? So much has gone on this month. All the more reason to be good to yourselves.

Now, I'm sharing a few entertaining reviews about a few books.

Disclaimer: I'm not on Team Jessica Simpson but I am on Team Harry and Meghan!

First, Jessica's Simpson's 27 page "book":

One disappointed reader wrote this about Movie Star:

"The cover looks like something you will enjoy. Reminds me of dating a very well proportioned woman and you end up with an empty bra."

One embittered Brit wrote this about Spare: 

"I agree with Harry wholeheartedly. 

They should never have renamed Opal Fruits as Starburst."

Opal Fruits?? Are you kidding me? Harry, I kinda - well - adore you and Meghan, and, well, you. You both seem sincere and you keep getting beaten up. You're so cute, honey. But "Opal Fruits"? No, sweetie. Just no. Starburst is a much better name. 

What do you think, my Sillies?