Sunday, March 30, 2014

Tornado Terror, Sundays in My City

Unknown Mami's Sundays in My City offers a wonderfully scenic way to learn about bloggers' hometowns across the globe. I jump aboard sporadically.

Thanks for braving it with me for this one...Terror frazzled the greater far Northern region of California yesterday evening, when news broke of a series of funnel clouds threatening fierce tornadoes that would devastate parts of Butte (my county), Glenn and Tehama Counties.  We were advised: "Go inside!"


Photo courtesy of Wayne Riser,source


My local friends posted facebook updates like these:
  • "The family and I are all in the laundry room. Hope everyone else is safe." 
I suppose it's good to have clean clothes should the tornado hit. I responded gratefully, but only because his post reminded me that I needed to scurry to my washer; I'd left my clothes in there for hours.
  • A friend's toddler ran through the house, screaming in fear over the looming "tomatoes!" 
I couldn't help but post a link on her page for the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Theme Song. 
Tell me you remember this one too.
  •  Yet another friend posted a photo of her "prepared" children huddled together on the couch, wearing  bike helmets.
Because it's smart to bike into a tornado. (?)

The point is, we're wimps (in California)!
There was no damage. Today, things look like this:

Thanks for visiting.
 I hope you're safe, warm, and enjoying signs of spring.

PS To all my friends doing the A-Z Challenge, good luck and have fun. I'll be visiting and cheering you on.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Road Trip Randomness & Hooters

Wow! Excuse my delayed appearance. I'm still licking chocolate drippings from the studio walls and found a coconut training bra hanging from the lampshade. Plus, my stagehand MacCullay Culkin is hovering in the corner, trying to smoke a grass skirt. Koopmans!?? 

Those Scribes are so sexy and lovable. Aren't they? I'm glad they poured on the choco-fun around here, as I drove across a good portion of California.

Travel notes:
  • The Valero station in Coalinga sells excellent corndogs. I highly recommend them.
  •  This same Valero sells a Trojan Pleasure 3-Pack. I didn't make the purchase, so I can't critique them. But they're likely still there if you're so inclined.
  •  Foreigner makes for great road trip music (e.g., Hot Blooded, Juke Box Hero...).
  • I gave a sandwich and water to a homeless man in Kettleman City. He said "Thanks, but you got any hooters? I gots some cash." I was about to tell him that my boobs aren't for sale, when he clarified that he wanted a joint.  I lectured him a bit, informing him that water and protein are more essential to his survival. Then, a male trucker pulled over to give him some money. I cheered, "See you're getting more help!" As I turned away, I heard the homeless man tell the trucker, disappointedly, "You don't got hooters either!?"   
Note: It appears you can in fact smoke a hooter. In the 60s and 70s, "hooter" was another name for joint.
  • It appears there are more state prisons than Motel 6s in this fine state.
  • Only in LA can you find a McDonald's that looks like this:
                                                       Pretty upscale for a McD's, huh?
  • You can also find freeways with seven lanes of traffic, all at a standstill.
  • Best of all, my destination offered the sweetest, most rambunctious dose of auntie-nephew lovin' in the universe. 
And I came home to a glorious Chico sunset.
It's good to be back. 
Thanks for your patience, as I make my rounds and get caught up.
I've been thinking about you.
Be well.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Charlie's Scribes Sweeten the Stage

While I'm on vacation, Charlie's Scribes,* busy as they are, have very enthusiastically and for little or no money (it would be the latter) stepped to center stage with a sweet, witty dose of chocolate craze blended with Oirish accents, self imposed chocibacy, and a reference to Mini-Alex.


* Elizabeth Seckman, Tammy Thieralt, and Mark Koopmans.

Mark is sexy in a coconut bra and grass skirt, right? He's also a great sport and had no idea I'd post this photo. Love you, MK! Wink.

Thank you, Scribes. You're more than awesome.
Thank you, my loyal and silly readers.  I adore you too!
Enjoy this post. It brings so many cleverly disguised forms of chocolate goodness.
I'll be back in circuit sometime next week (3/26 or so).
~~~~~~~~~~~~((())))~~~~~~~~~~(((())))~~~~~~~~~~(((())))~~~~~~~~~~~!!



It was a dark and velvety stormy night. I heard the cries and knew Chocó Man had expired.

“Tammy, stop the screaming. What’s de matter?” I said, from my Hershey Street office (where I’d passed the bar.) “How are ye, Robyn. Listen, you know I’m like your Batman as Chocó Man is – was – to his SugarDaddy… but now he’s gone!!”
Tammy wailed again like a banshee who’d stubbed her toe. “Sweet Jaysus, I already talked to Ferrero and Rocher. What are we gonna do?”
“We need to figure why we’re talkin’ in Oirish accents,” I said, sipping a hot chocolate while Everyone’s A Winner” played on the “grandma-phone.” (I’d owned the ancient Motorola since Easter Eggs were hip, and loved to flip the phone open like I was cool like an After Eight mint.)
“Ah go on, don’ be messin’ wit’ me. Oi’m not talkin’ with a bleedin’ Oirish accent. Wait a mo…. Liz just waltzed in.”
“Not a bother.” I tuned into Chox News. Bill O’Cadburys had finished a dark segment, so I grabbed the remote to catch the latest from The Factory.
“…Witnesses report Chocó Man was the victim of a senseless beating that involved three large eggs of the underworld,” O’Cadbury said, wearing his usual dark, Swiss suit. “Police don’t know what to bake of the situation, but ask citizens to assist with individual pieces (not meant for resale) of information.”
I sighed. How O’Cadbury never melted under pressure was a mystery to me.
A screech from the phone broke my reverie. Liz had talked this whole time.“Look, Robyn, I’ve made this voodoo doll for Mark,” said the wee wan. “I’ll Sweet you a picture, ‘cos I stuck a pin near his vocal chords. Perhaps that’s why yez are all talkin’ with mad Dublin accents.”
I reSweeted the pic to my indulgent followers. Would they Sees how the miniature doll could strike fear and heartburn into the likes of Mini-Alex.
“Whadareyetalkin’about,” said Tammy, leaving me to ponder a new, dark roll. Was Charlie’s Scribes using me as a Tootsie to pin the entire meltdown on me?
“Tammy, it’s Saint Paddy’s Week,” said Liz, “Robyn can pick any day to post. We’ll be fresh, delicious and within our expiration date.”
“I thought it was St. Patty’s Day,” said Tammy, as she waited for her sandwich in Ghirar’ Deli’s.
“Here, Robyn… where’s Mark with his Chocolate Bra and Drizzle Skirt?”
“Oh no,” I said, breaking my self-imposed vow of Chocibacy. “It was him all along! I should have known. I’ll text him. It’s not as if he’s on Mars or playing with the Skittles.”
Kit-Kat1: Aloha, Tolberone0420. Mark, did u know Chocó Man is dead?
Tolberone0420: Sweet.
As the realization set in, the tooth hurt. I Nestléd my head on an arm and brushed Lindt from my sweeter. 
It was a dark day, to be shure, to be shure.                                 
 ### 

If you know someone who needs literary assistance from Charlie’s Scribes, please shoot Bosley an email at charliesscribes@gmail.com


Monday, March 17, 2014

Miscellany and Feet Swrepping

I'm on a bit of a blogging frenzy, because I'll be away for the next week or so. Auntie time awaits. I'm also elated to have finished a draft of Woman on the Verge of Paradise. Time for a break! No worries, I've hired the best in the business to entertain you in my absence.  You're in for a real treat! For now, a few bits of miscellaneous miscellany...

In my last celibacy post, I mentioned a man who looks 83 but claims to be 53 and wants to "swrep" me off my feet. Dumbfounded, I asked for ideas on how to respond. LDMasterson suggested I inform him that I'd love to but I gave up swrepping for Lent. Priceless! ~If you aren't following her, you should be. She's a delightfully witty lady.~ I couldn't help but run with the comeback. Here's how it unfolded:
  
Swrepper: I wanna swrep ya off your feet !!!!

Me: Hi.
No thank you. I gave up swrepping for lent.
Robyn

Swrepper: I love humor....your full of it....lol

Me: Thank you.
I've been told I'm full of it before, but I think your saying it in a nicer way.
Have a good weekend.

RE:hahahaha !!! i godda fun sense of humor hun !!

Me: Aw, your full of it too.
Thanks.
Have a great weekend.

RE:yes i suppose i am hun..we got lotts in common

I stopped here. At least he’s good natured. Don’t wanna lead the ole guy inta thinking he gonna get me to swrep with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<<>>~~~~~~~~~~~~<>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I get a kick out of this photo because we're apparently staring intently at a spot of light on a TV screen. It took SO LITTLE to entertain kids back in the day.

Robyn on left * sister Dawn on right ~ ages 1-1/2 and almost 3, November, 1967
 *My bald spots have gone away, I think. I'm holding a spoon to my mouth. Yogurt or chocolate or chocolate yogurt? It's anybody's guess. Sadly, I still can't stare at a screen without eating.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Plumas National Forest, Sundays in My City

I broke down and bought yet another cheap camera this week. But when I took it out of the box, I couldn't figure it out. The  little folded instructions page informed me only that I needed to make sure the batteries are in correctly. Great! How do I put the damn batteries in and turn the damn thing on? A few more curse words later, and I was back at KMart electronics.

"I just bought this and can't even figure out how to turn it on."
 
The 20 somethinger casually took my camera, pressed the button on top, and told me it works fine. I left with egg on my face (Do people still use this term?) and ready to snap some shots.

That story serves as prelude to the fact that I've rejoined Sundays in My City. Thanks to UnknownMami, we get to take this enchanting worldwide tour of bloggers' hometowns. 

I still don't fully understand my camera, so this is a bad shot of DuPont, sporting peaceful happy hippy attire as spring approaches.

And now, let's go on a little road trip along Northern Cal's highway 70 into Sierra Nevada's Plumas National Forest.
www.nationalforests.org
We're at approximately 2000 feet here.
 
I'm wishing these photos did better to capture the beauty of this area. It's even more spectacular than it appears, and it's practically my backyard. I've no complaints.

Have a great Sunday and new week.
Enjoy the view, wherever you are.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Hop on the Bus, Gus: Reasons for Celibacy #287-296

A straight single woman (e.g., me) easily uncovers multiple reasons to choose celibacy. Ten such reasons follow. They're lifted directly from internet dating ads and flavored by snark. Hope you enjoy...

REASON #287: Are you she?
No I’m me. Are you he?

REASON #288:
What's shakin bacon? 
What’s gooey stewy? What’s fat cat? Hammy Pammy? Black Jack?
Don't need to be coy, Roy.
Just listen to me. Hop on the bus, Gus. You don't need to discuss much. 
Just drop off the key, Lee. And get yourself free. 
*Lyrics from Paul Simon’s Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover

REASON #289:
Someone who wants to learn new things and above all--someone who wants to experience their experiences!  I know, right? Because experiences are best when experienced. Like one time I had an experience that I didn’t experience. I don’t want to experience that again, dude.

REASON #290:
i am looking for an exclusive, serious, long term, committed relationship with a sweet, sensitive, sincere, affectionate, romantic, attractive, LOCAL (Anywhere in the world. I don't like superficial people they usually have no depth.  Yeah I noticed that too, especially the shallow ones. Ideally, a singleton would find someone who’s not superficial, and who has depth, and who is local, AND who also lives nearby.

REASON #291:
She is honest, passionate, witty with a little sarcasms and is loyal. Really? I thought men like women with big, perky sarcasms.

REASON #292:
The world is filled with high achievers:
Anyth- worth doing is worth doing right    
i will fill this in later Like when you make time to replace the hyphen with “ing”?

REASON #293:
What to say its hard excplanning myself well im just trying to find someone real and go from there im fun and love the out doors im single hard worker if u wanna know more about me feel free to stop by and leave a message.
I think you have some excplanning to do.

REASON #294:
Just down to earth, grounded, easy to talk to, I havan't had alot of relationship practice sence my last romance in '95. Dude, that’s 19 years ago. I feel for you. My friends don't understand it, they say I'm a good looking man. But the women I meet all think I'm taken or married, so don't ever return the intrest I might show, at least thats what they say later on after they find out I'm singal and they have hooked up sorta speak. So here I'm am, feeling like I,ve been left behind!...First things first: don’t downgrade yourself or your apostrophes. Use spellcheck. Next, face reality: your friends and these women are only placating you, bro. Hooking up sorta speak is something you gotta make happen. And why not, honey? You’re good enough. You’re smart enough. And doggonit people like you! So go out there hook it up sorta speak!!!  *Fist pumping and cheering ensue.*

REASON #295:
I'm originally from Corpse Christi Texas
If that’s not a cursed birth, I don’t know what is.

REASON #296 hit my in-box from a man who looks 83 but claims to be 53.
I wanna swrep ya off your feet !!!!  I'm at a loss as to how to respond to this "gentleman." Suggestions, anyone? I would appreciate it.