Friday, February 28, 2014

Pat Hatt and Charlie's Scribes


*completely unsolicited

   I never imagined I'd be made into a character in someone's book. But Pat Hatt did just that. Rockin Robin is the second from the left above, in Tune at High Noon. Isn't she cute?
   Be one of Pat Hatt's thousands of followers, and you might just find yourself in the pages of his books. You probably already know that Pat Hatt spins rhymes 24/7. He's published almost 30 rhyming children's books, and the illustrations are great too. Tune at High Noon is my personal favorite. It was a gleeful surprise to learn that I'm dancing in Tune with Miss Cloud, Stretchy Waffle, and Cactus Adam. A much belated thank you, Pat Hatt, our modern day Dr. Seuss!  

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*also unsolicited...

     Have you heard of Charlie's Scribes? What an amazing trio, played by Mark Koopmans, Elizabeth Seckman, and Tammy Theriault. This threesome fulfills a blogger's most pressing need. (Well, perhaps a blogger's second most pressing need. Or third, factoring in chocolate.) Anyway, we all have times when we're on vacation/staycation, or experiencing blogger's block, or  combatting health issues, or can't blog for one reason or another. Charlie's Scribes fills the gap. They travel from blog to blog, bravely offering hilariously silly and fun-filled entertainment when bloggers are MIA. 

Taken from their site:
Charlie’s Scribes are the chocolate to your sweet tooth. We are the filler to the soon-to-be cavity. And best of all, we are the wig to Mark's shiny lovable head.
(If you don’t need us now – that’s okay. Feel free to print this page and pin it to your fridge next to those other emergency contact numbers.)


Find them here!

I have fond memories of Charlie's Angels. Like every girl back then, I wanted Farrah Fawcette's hair. I also wanted Jacklyn Smith's sex-appeal, and Kate Jackson's smarts. In this case, I'll take Elizabeth Seckman's smarts, Tammy Theriault's sex-appeal, and Mark Koopman's...wait, let's try again. I'd be thrilled to have Elizabeth's sex-appeal, Tammy's smarts, and...Never mind. Sorry, Mark. I wouldn't have written that if you weren't the most good-natured bald Hawaiian I know.

From their recent visit to Michelle Wallace's blog: "Hey Tammy, pick up. It’s Mark and Liz; we’re at Michelle’s concert waiting for you.   Listen, something weird is going on. Liz picked me up in a cab from a place called Bates Motel; I have a new tattoo of an elephant on my right shoulder and a pounding headache that reminds me of Ireland. You need to hurry and get up here mas rapido. After the next number, Michelle will announce her blogfest winner."

I was so amused by their antics, it took a while before I realized my name marked the end of the post. Woohoo! I'm thrilled and humbled to have won Michelle's Ubuntu blog hop for my poem, Mere Chance.  I'm also grateful to the scribes for navigating elephant dung in stilettos and/or flip flops, despite a terrible hang over spurred by raucous partying at the Bates Hotel the night before - in order to make the grand announcement. If that's not dedication, I don't know what is.

How could we not love all the heartfelt zaniness found in blogland? I do.

Thank you, Michelle and the Scribes!

Have a great weekend, everyone.                          

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Biker Impotence: Woman on the Verge of Paradise

I consistently have bad luck with two things: (1) cameras and (2) men. Regarding the former, I buy cheap cameras that don't tend to last more than a few months before the lens won't open, or I can't snap a photo, or something else has gone wrong like it slips out of my hands and lands on a concrete surface. I don't want to purchase a good camera, because I can't afford one, especially given I'd likely break it too...This is all to say that I won't be doing Sundays in My City for while. My camera stopped working.

Regarding (2), I have no explanation. But I invite you to read excerpts from the novel I'm drafting, Woman on the Verge of Paradise. I post these randomly, with no rhyme or reason, except that I think they'll entertain. If you're offended by, say, erectile dysfunction or curse words, please move on and visit my other posts. This one's not for you. Thank you. Otherwise, I'm curious as to whether any of your friends have experienced anything like this, or if it's just my bad luck with men...
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...His plush, king-sized bed seemed a glamorous place for my first post-Justin liaison. But as he pressed his body against mine, moving up and down, lowering his hand to do some work down there, he sighed.

   "Sorry," Tony said. "Let me keep trying."

   Shit. Just my luck. Guy can't get it up!

   I was hot, wet and, though impatient, pretended not to be. "It's all right, really." Damnit!

   "It's not you. I really want you, Robyn."

   Why would I think that your failure to get it up would be a shortcoming on my part? It's not my penis. "I know. It's okay. We can try again tomorrow."

   Despite frustrations, we fell asleep shortly thereafter.

--

   "I know what it was!" Tony's exclamation awoke me from a sound sleep.

   "Huh?" I opened my eyes and saw that he was smiling. "What is it?"

   "I know why it didn't work. I went on a ten mile bike ride yesterday morning. I remember hearing on the radio that bicyclists sometimes have problems getting an erection."

   "Oh, okay. That's good, honey." I closed my eyes, prepared to go back to sleep. Then, I popped up, eyes wide opened. "Tony--"

   "Yeah?"

   "Will you stop riding your bike, please?"

   "Definitely."
    _____
As a public service announcement, if any of your "friends" have experienced biker impotence, Dr. Anthony Komaroff of Harvard Medical School states:
"If you feel tingling or numbness in your penis, stop riding for a week or two. These are warning signs that your biking could lead to erectile problems."

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Ubuntu Bloghop, Mere Chance

"Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness,
to pull another hand into the light." -Amrit Desai
"In Africa, there is a concept known as UBUNTU – the profound sense that we are human only through the humanity of others; that if we are to accomplish anything in this world, it will in equal measure be due to the work and achievement of others." – Nelson Mandela.

In celebration of her 3rd blogoversary, blogland's beloved Michelle Wallace is hosting this Ubuntu Bloghop from February 18-21. During this time, we're invited to post something that captures the spirit of ubuntu--a beautiful concept. I've written a poem.

Mere Chance

I stride into your eyes and see
I could be you. 
You could be me.
Divided lives that crave the same:
Love, respect, a valued name.
Bereft of excess, 
our needs so few:
Awaking safe 
with breath anew.
Both good souls, 
two lots to bear.
Would life make sense, 
a fate we'd share.
Yet I bathe myself 
in waste replete
As you stave demons 
on the street.
Your time, 
a fight
 and mine, 
a dance.
Mere chance contrasts 
each circumstance.

Your hurdles, vast
Your earnest, true

How easily
I could be you.