And I Wrote This Book.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Martha Stewart's Jeep Jamboree, A-Z Continues Jammin'

Yeah, this is me. Some people don't think I'm okay gettin' dirt on me and having a good time. But here I am at a good ole fashioned Jeep Jamboree with my friends of the lower ranks of humanity. They said I could join in, after I paid them a mere $250,000 cover fee to Jam with the best of this Jeep Jamboree. I then marinated a nice savory sauce with just a smidgen of jalapeno for added kick, to top off well boiled chicken guts and rabbit livers. 'Yahoo' and 'Yeehaw' and 'Kiss my nether regions'! and well all that sort of stuff. --Martha scans the scene.-- Now how do I get the *bleep* away from these *bleep-ers*?!

61 comments:

  1. None of them want to go to bed with her either, huh?

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  2. Hmm... why is it with Martha, one is either scared or skewered? What a jeeping-bleeping broad!

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    1. She tries to fit in, but she's too much of a clueless jerk. A horny one, at that.

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  3. jeep- equals narrow wheel base. Maybe if she is lucky, she will go muddin' too fast and flip over.

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  4. Further proof that Martha's just so down to earth. And I bet she felt right at home in this group, being able to say the N-word openly without getting flack for it.

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    1. She had more fun than she cares to admit, BnB. A couple of the partyers are second cousins she slept with in the early 80s. They were all plastered at the time, of course.

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  5. Don't feed them Martha....DON'T FEED THEM.

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    1. She left the food and sprinted off, Delores. It was pretty funny to watch that *b*tch* tromp thru the mud.

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    1. She does belch, curse, and eat fried crows guts with the worst of 'em, Deb.

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    2. Oh Lord, yes. Then she blames one of her servants for the atrocious odors and fires him/her. That b*tch.

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  7. she needs to guzzle more beer

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    1. She told 'em the beer was chilled enough for her - that ungrateful *b*tch*!

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    2. I supposed so, Al. Oops, I meant the beer wasn't chilled enough for her. She's one cold drunken, snobby b*tch.

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  8. Just an ol stick in the mud at heart...and everywhere else.

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    1. And we can tell her where to stick that mud, right EC?

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  9. Good old Martha! She wears well, don't she?

    Rabbit livers?

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    1. Do rabbits even have livers? She talks without thinking.

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    1. It does get one thinking...And you're on the same coast as she is. Would be nice to see her fall face-flat into it...hmmm...

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  11. Yee haw! Gave you a shoutout on my blog today. That was some jeep jamboree thang. Had such a good time my nether regions are aching. Alana-ramblinwitham.blogspot.com

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  12. Oh my-she probably painted the jeep pink. If they ate her meal, that is probably not mud you are looking at

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    1. Oh you're right. *pinching nostrils and heading for the hills.* Thanks for the warning, Birgit.

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  13. What? She's not sharing her recipe for road kill custard?

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    1. No but for a mere $879, you can buy it, Stephen.

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  14. Maybe she should take a few steps back and duck a little, then the jeep could back up over her and safe us all.

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    1. Or if she just "accidentally" slipped when I brushed by her...hmmm

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  15. Gosh I think I shouldn't be really laughing, huh?

    Have a fantastic weekend!

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    1. We should all be really laughing, except Martie.
      Thanks, Lux.

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  16. Martha goes mudding--that's something I never thought I'd see.

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  17. Now that would be fun. Just not with her, thanks. I'll cook better food than her anyway.

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  18. Something I learned as a child; everything's more fun in mud. I believe Martha's evolving.

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    1. Yes, she appears to be evolving past infancy. If only she'd stay in the mud - it'd do her some good.

      Thanks, Geo.

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  19. I hope one of her "lower ranks of humanity" doesn't find her travel size 'Instant Invigoration Item' in her glove compartment, and get it covered in mud. That would certainly put a jolt in the Jeep Jamboree! Another joyful, jubilant and juicy jeer at Martha, Robyn!

    Julie

    Julie

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    1. Oops...scratch the second Julie. I'm sure Martha has something for that too!

      Julie

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    2. No worries, Julie Julie. It just adds to your joyous joining of J after J. You're always creative, and I can't think of any appropriate js right now to describe you, Julie Julie. =)

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  20. Replies
    1. Have you had them, Rhonda? I'm thinking green onions and a savory marinade, with some Ritz crackers might go down well.

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  21. like I have said before... uhhhmmmm, errr? with a smile of course... :)

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    1. You said it, Jeremy. So long as you're smiling.

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  22. Martha needs a good *beep*

    Just stopping by from the A to Z Blog Challenge list. Enjoy the rest of the challenge. Glad I stumbled on your blog again.

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    1. Great to see you again, ADSL. Yeah, Martha's been trying through much of the alphabet thus far for a good *bleep*. Let's see if she gets any by Z.

      Thanks for dropping by and commenting.

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  23. "Baloney!" says, Good Martha :) Gettin' down and dirty is not something that Bad Martha does. The vein in her forehead would pop!

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    1. Drats - do you think the others can tell this isn't a true-to-life photo, Good Martha?

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  24. Jeep Jamboree? When Martha was incarcerated she said she was going to write an important book about her new buddies' earthy wisdom and lifeways. She's doing research.

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    1. I remember that, Margaret. You're right. She hasn't written anything. You'd think she'd pay a team of ghostwriters to produce a series on her suffering at the hands of Big Suzie.

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  25. I've honestly only just realised this moment that I don't know what Martha Stewart actually does :P

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    1. She does a few crafts and some cooking, Michael. She's a bazillionaire for it. Oh for that and insider trading and for calling herself the expert of everything.

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  26. I have to be honest, you're humor is FANTASTIC and a little intimidating! So happy I stopped by and I can't wait for 'H.'

    You can find me here:
    ClarabelleRant

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  27. I meant 'K!' Martha made me do it...

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  28. All of this Martha is making me dizzy. It's like a clockwork orange style hypnosis - I might have to go Martha Jammin. (No you won't) Yes I will! (No you WILL NOT) I WANT TOO GODDAMITT! (You sick fuck). Oh I am sick arent I. Help... get me outa this place... !

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