InSanity~Normalize, Don't Stigmatize Mentall Illness.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Martha Stewart's Naughty Prison Guard: A-Z Challenge

 
Hello, I'm Martha Stewart. As of late, I've longed for my days at the stony lonesome. You see, Big Bertha was in the cell next to mine. What's more - Martha fans herself - a very Naughty Prison Guard took charge and covered me from time to time, when I slipped him a few thousand dollars. My hot and Naughty Prison Guard really worked the circuit - if you know what I mean. *Wink.* I have nothing to sell you today. I simply wish to honor all Naughty Prison Guards, and I hope they keep it up...until I get there again. Tootles!
 

33 comments:

  1. Hah, I wonder if that naughty prison guard ever saw Big Bertha really give to Martha? wink, wink

    ReplyDelete
  2. Naughty prison guard....sounds like an x-rated movie. But with Martha Stewart in it, it becomes a comedy! Says, good Martha...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well at least she got some while in the slammer.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stewie's off her meds again! Unless NPG was using Big Bertha, it didn't happen; and probably not then either!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sorry Martha, but my biggest laugh today was Just keepin it Real's comment above. Alex is on the ball too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Was he like Pornstache on Orange is the New Black?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm thinking that guard would HAVE to be paid.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Was the prison guard high off the drugs he confiscated?

    ReplyDelete
  9. come on who hasn't found love with a prison guard, wait I have said too much..

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm seeing a side to Martha I just didn't know, and lol to Jeremy's comment!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Until I get there again....

    Yep. Some things are just bound to happen. At least it will have "perks."

    ReplyDelete
  12. yep - made me think of Orange is the New Black.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi, Martha! Maybe Piper what's her name wasn't the real inspiration for Orange Is the New Black.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  14. Martha has the $$$ to buy whatever or whoever she wants in prison.

    Stephen Tremp
    A to Z Cohost
    N is for Numerology

    ReplyDelete
  15. I expect she'll be returning soon, probably for tax evasion.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Martha sure knows who to work to get the most perks out of her prison stay.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Was the guard Michael Moore? Did he throw up in his mouth a little. Is this guard now kept in her basement tied up? Poor bastard

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sounds like that might be her next big goal in life. Can't be a bigger flop than the whole K-Mart thing, am I right?

    ReplyDelete
  19. YOUR COMMENTS KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER. I'm laughing so much I need Depends. I'm sorry that I'm delayed in visiting you all and responding before we're onto the next letter. Will do my best to play catch up. Forgive me. My schedule's changed, and I have less time, but I'm make the circuit (not in a Naughty Prison Guard way) asap. Love you all, and I appreciate your sense of humor. You're almost as twisted as I am. No offense. xo

    ReplyDelete
  20. "My hot and Naughty Prison Guard really worked the circuit - if you know what I mean," I don't know what you mean. What do you mean? Please tell me. I need you to spell this out in excruciating detail. Otherwise, I am lost. Please guide me out of the darkness with your exploratory explanation.

    ReplyDelete
  21. No amount of money could force me to go anywhere near her!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Okay she's not selling. Anybody else got barf bags? I could, u...u...u...ubblech...

    Never mind, I feel better now.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Martha probably begged him to put her in dimly lit solitary confinement, so she could have him all to herself. Worse things couldn't possibly happen in the hole, and that's what he said afterward.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  24. If my prison guard looked like that, I'd have a sex scandal with him...

    ReplyDelete
  25. I know, right, Michael?! I just guffawed pretty darn loud. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. A few thousand dollars? Hope it was worth it. That seems like a lot of money for a few minutes of um...circuit working.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The only falsity here is that the Prison Guard was a big butch called Bertha with a big purple baton...

    ReplyDelete
  28. Drats. You caught me in a lie, Anthony. It was a big pink baton.

    ReplyDelete