Thursday, April 28, 2016

Trump Slammed by Xifaxan and Martha Stewart's X-Rated Fantasy Kit

Late breaking news: CNN just announced that Donald Trump's bowels are irritating and irritable, yet extremely liberal regarding movement in gender neutral bathrooms. When interviewed at a unisex urinal somewhere in DC, an anonymous source close to Trump stated this: "Trump has diarrhea and abdominal pain." Clearly, folks, the Donald is challenged by IBS-D, Irritable Bowel Syndrome with Diarrhea. Thus, we've very generously slammed his head-top with Xifaxan for IBS-D, rifaximin 550 mg tablets.  Will this Xifaxandoodoodoo stop Trump from being a poo-poo head? We certainly hope so.  
Speaking of irritating bowels, Martha's back!
"I'm Martha Stewart, and I like to fantasize as much as the next over-sexed *bleep* who hasn't gotten laid since the invention of the egg-beater. So I created Martha Stewart's X-Rated Fantasy Kit. This rather handy kit comes with  a dark and sultry mannequin with removable clothing and anatomically correct genitalia; a lit candle; and two voyeurs, because - really - who doesn't enjoy the thrill of exhibitionism? And now, if you'll excuse me...Martha shoves the mannequin onto the floor and pounces atop it/him. Jack Black jumps in to join the fun. Queen Elizabeth holds her 'I'm so over Commoners' glare for several hours. We won't  go into any more detail, but -yes- a sheep and small camel were involved."

23 comments:

  1. I knew Martha was going to get x-rated with the letter 'x.' It was simply inevitable. 2 letters to go!

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  2. Replies
    1. I can't imagine how irritated his bowels must be. Right, Deb?

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  3. Hi, just popping by on the AtoZ challenge
    from No190
    hope you get the winner you wish for...will it be a Trump?

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  4. I get the shits just looking at those two and I've ad shits with more sense too.

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  5. A clever "X" entry for Trump! And isn't EVERY entry for Martha X-rated?

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    Replies
    1. Absolutely, Debra. Otherwise, why would anyone care?

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  6. He definitely spews a lot of s***.

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  7. The poor queen, how did she get dragged into this?

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    Replies
    1. You know what's ironic about the Queen, Sage? Her last name. Are you ready for this: ENGEL!! She and I are like soul sisters!

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  8. Oh, smart choice, Robyn! X is a difficult one.

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  9. I always suspected that Trump was full of sh**. Still, very clever strategy for the letter X.

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  10. X marks the spot where camels were used inappropriately. I join the Queen in a glare. And maybe one peek. Eeeeeeewwwwe

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha! I love your wit around here, Joanne. Thank you. PS Lemme know what you saw. I'm too short to get the full view.

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  11. Cheryl said what was on my mind in her first sentence. April is winding down fast.

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  12. The sight of certain people gives me the shits.

    Love,
    Janie

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  13. A bowel head is perfect for Trump. Best idea yet.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Stephen. It is one of my faves of the series. It's just so appropriate.

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  14. Dear lovely, silly, peeps,
    It's been one heck of a month for many reasons. I've been much more delayed than usual in making rounds. Please forgive me for that. I could excuse myself, but you are always a priority, so I won't go into any of it. I'm glad we're almost to Z. I hope you're keeping a smile and stash of chocolate. I'll visit you all asap. Love and chocolate kisses.

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  15. Oh Martha.....I bet you would like a good Yak as well..in more ways than one. I think Trump is the photo image of IBS

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