And I Wrote This Book.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Yesterday's News; Martha, Martha, Martha, A-Z Challenge


We've trumped the Trump with Yesterday's News and a Yucca Tree. It's the Yuckyesterdoo. Imagine a day when this orange mofo is Yesterday's News. What a glorious thought! In times like these, we need to hold tight to such glorious thoughts until they're realized.

Martha Stewart stumbles in, gripping a 3 foot tall glass of something non-virgin.
"High-oh! I'm Mar, Mar, Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! F*k Jan! I'm Marsha Stew, Stupor, and I like to get sloshed sometimes and th, then all the other times too. Times two. Get it? Yeppers, I gotta big, real big and long glass for ya. It's yer, year-shlong. I mean, it's y, yer Yearlong Yuletide Cheer. Put what you wantinit. I like to mix it up with Jack Black Daniel Boon Arnold P, P, Pomegranate 'cuz he da man of my dr, drinks. Waiter, gets me a taxi driver. A young hot dark one, fast! Martha collapses and no one cares to help."
 
"That's a yuge drink," Trump says. "We're gonna make the Muslims in Mexico pay. I'm smart. I'm really smart. All the women on my show wanted me. I understand. I'm handsome. I like women, oh yeah, I like women. The brown people are druggies and rapists. Some are good. They're my servants. Build a wall. I sued the NFL and won a dollar from it. They'll pay for it. I've been bankrupted four times but that was in the past. Sure, I cheated on all my wives. Can you blame me? Everyone wants me! You should see my tower! It's really tall! I got no problems with that. Yeah, you'll see. I like women." 

19 comments:

  1. Looks like the two candidates are about sealed for the major parties. Those numbers are pretty run away for them both. Not to be political or anything, but OMG. That's all I've got to say about that... ;)

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    1. It kinda makes you wanna do a write-in vote for Martha Stewart.

      #BernBabyBern, #Thisfireain'tgoinout!

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  2. It's going to take me a year of yuletides to get these yucky images outta my head.

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  3. Is it too late to add another candidate to the mix? I don't know, at this rate I'm willing to go back and consider my original options again.

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    1. That's scary too, Elie. Fiorignolia (or whatever's her name) was the latest add-on. Who'd be next? Ben Carson? Arnold Scwarzenegger or - gasp - Martha???

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    2. PS SSSSS I missed the "s," it seems. Sorry ElSie. =)

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    1. Hahaha, Alex and JoJo, I don't even want to think about it. EWWWWW!!!!

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  5. Yuck sums him up. He makes Martha look good. Happy Friday Robyn. Your April has been fabulous.

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  6. I'm so ready for him to be yesterday's news. Happy weekend to you, Robyn!

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  7. It will die on his head, not very fertile

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  8. Let's see on election day in November just how many women like him.

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  9. After a month of this stuff I am going to have nightmares with shit coming out of Trump's hair. Martha Stewtart will be floating around with her lady bits oozing evil spirits. I'll wake up screaming in a cold sweat. I hold you personally responsible unless you hold me close and make it all go away.

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  10. Martha likes to make her own concoctions since she can be a bit of a dick herself. Speaking of dicks... Trump is a rash that doesn't go away

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