I'm back from my travels. I wasn't able to go on-line there, so please forgive my recent absence. I'll be doing my best to catch up this week. Oh, my trip? Well, Mexico and I decided that instead of a wall at the border, we'd build it around Trump's mouth. But despite our hard work and dedication to the cause, we couldn't build it fast or big enough. So we'll reconvene after Passover - I'll have some new ideas by then based on how my people built all those grand pyramids and stuff. We'll send the bill for parts and labor to Trump. (That, like him, is a no-brainer.)
For now, Trump's sporting a doggy on his head. Not unlike my friend Bryan Pedas predicted, the candidate is herein modeling the Doggydoodoo. There's a lot of doo in this one. Naturally, a required accessory is the Dumps for Trump Poop bag.
As a timely reminder, when I told Trump that he wouldn't be paid for this blog gig because it's pro bono, he barked: "Oh I'm a pro bono." He pawed his crotch and continued: "All the woman on my show said, 'Wow, Mr. Trump, you have a very, very big bono!"
Extra Special D addition: I'm interviewed about my book at Diapers, Detentions, and Downdogs here. Jennifer Williams Fields asked all the right questions.
Music: Orange Mofo With a Fungus on His Head.