First, be it known that I think Bernie and Jane Sanders are a wonderful, powerful, intelligent, enlightened, warm-loving couple. And infidelity is wrong. Be it also known that I burn for Bernie. He graciously agreed to join me on Trump's head for the MeandBerndoo. This way, with Trump getting undue air-time, we'd get some too.
Hillary was peeved. "Listen," she lectured, "President Obama never would have done anything like that. I'm not a racist. I believe in stricter gun control because it's a scary world that we live in. I need to win really, really big in New York. I'll pay you and George Clooney $65,000 to vote for me..."
Fortunately, Martha Stewart, now oddly resembling a younger, less repressed Hillary, interrupted with last year's M post.
Hello, I'm Martha Stewart, and I like a man who's well endowed. So this --Martha raises her index and middle fingers then curls them over, making air quotation marks-- "Member" Maximizer can
really come in handy. I found it on craigslist and made a bunch of
them. I then added my name carefully near the head of each Maximizer
using a black Sharpie. This Martha Stewart Member Maximizer is lubricant friendly, enhances girth, makes for extra firmness, and
adds an entire inch in length.
Oy vey, my friends. So sorry. The good news, though, is that we're halfway there. M is mid-alphabet. The bad news, though, is that we're halfway there. M is mid-alphabet.
Keep a smile.
Hey, Martha and Hillary do look a lot alike, lol! I never noticed until you pointed it out. :)
ReplyDeleteHow scary is that, Rosey? Maybe Hillary has a new running mate?!
DeleteFeel the Bern!!!!
ReplyDeleteWoot! Glad it's spread to Europe, OE.
DeleteI want to see Martha on Bernie's head. OH MY GAWD, talk about feeling the Bern!!!!!
ReplyDeleteShe volunteered. Trump stuck up his finger (you can guess which one) and had his security escort her out. That excited her. I haven't seen them since.
DeleteMartha, I will pass on that.
ReplyDeleteYes, put Martha on his head!
See above, Alex. It didn't quite go the way I expected.
Deleteyou and the Bern. At least two tops one. Happy Friday - your posts make my day
ReplyDeleteBernie was a little hot last night in the debates--he needs to keep his cool and will do better.
ReplyDeleteHe was on fire - but the audience reacted appropriately (booing for Hillary when she made her classic references to "Obama did it too.")
DeleteSo it's YOU who's giving Bernie all that energy for a man his age!!!
ReplyDeleteHave I told you that I find your crush on Bernie cute? No? Well, there it is.
ReplyDeleteDon't you hate it when the good news and bad news are the same news???
Thank you, Robin.
DeleteYeah, it's really annoying when bad=good news.
I'd like to get into your head the way you've gotten into The Donald's. No, really.
ReplyDeleteHeads up, you may have just created the idea for Weekend At Bernies 3.
ReplyDeleteHa! Perfect, Pat.
DeleteYou and Bernie together--this is the best look yet for Trump.
ReplyDeleteI guess everyone is feeling the burn after last nights debates. Yikes!!! I think the Dems could of really gained some traction by playing Nelly's "It's Hot In Here" in the background. Really, a lost opportunity for the whole genre of news/entertainment.
ReplyDelete"I'm not a racist, but that 'CP Time' crack by De Blasio was hilarious!"
ReplyDeleteI just looked into that, Al; I didn't know what you were referencing - a twisted attempt at humor, apparently. Oh, Hillary. No need to keep digging your own ditches. Your supporters are doing it for you and themselves.
DeleteI like Bernie very much but he's been in Congress for ages and has affected no change when it comes to his core issues. Unfortunately, he'll never be able to deliver on his promises.
ReplyDeleteThen again, neither could Lincoln, MLK or any of the greatest of the greats. He certainly can't do it alone. But he's certainly not alone. I'm right by his side (his left and right sides). =)
DeleteFeel the Bern baby!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI like the two of you together! Goes well on top of Trumps head. Martha, Martha, Martha ( said by Jan Brady and replacing Marsha)!
ReplyDeleteHilarious and kind of terrifying at the same time.
ReplyDeleteWow. Absolutely nothing I could say that wouldn't get me into too much trouble...
ReplyDeleteLol. Martha opens herself up to...all kinds of trouble. Good restraint, Chris. Good restraint.
DeleteDismal election season but here I am in New York. Politicians running for president usually ignore New York. This year, they need New York. I'm an election inspector so I should be able to collect a bunch of entertaining election day stories for a later blog post. Go Bernie, the only candidate whose not a total bad joke. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYour perspective will be extremely interesting, Alice.
DeleteMartha must be burning for a man..in more ways than one. You know, we concentrate on that hair of his but look at his eye brows!
ReplyDeleteHaha, good point, Birgit. Now that we can't see the hair on his head, his eyebrows are looking extremely creepy.
DeleteThis really is a crazy erection year. I like Bernie, but I think it's becoming more than a bit apparent, that underneath it all, he is an angry old white guy who doesn't have much to offer other than the pie in the sky. I want Hillary to win, but if Bernie wins it, should be fun and interesting.
ReplyDeleteErections never looked so bad, and I've seen bad ones, Pat. Smiles.
DeleteLOL. They got this coming.
ReplyDelete♫♪ Bern, baby, Bern ♪♫ Great, now I'll have that tune stuck in my head all day :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's time for a "Weekend at Bernie's"... you, me and that guy.
ReplyDeleteHaha, you and CWMartin are so clever, you thought of Weekend at Bernie's.
DeleteYou're on, Jeremy.
Meet you there!