And I Wrote This Book.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Ivanadoo, A-Z Challenge

Next up: the Ivanadoo.
The Ivanadoo is Trump's attempt to combine his disturbing orange mofo presence with a slick, sexy appeal. It appears Trump's servants are jealous that they weren't chosen for this doo. I told 'em: "Look, chicks, he needed some sex-appeal and intellect up there, and while she ain't Eleanor Roosevelt or Whoopi Goldberg, she did divorce him long ago. She's at least a little bit smart. And she's fairly hot too." They cried to their limo driver, who happily escorted them to his chambers.

Oh no, not again! F*k!!! SO SORRY!! Dangit, Martha, I told you to get lost! She's back again. I can't seem to keep her away.  Forgive me, friends. Please!
I'm Martha Stewart, and my attempts to get *bleep'd* haven't worked. So I've taken matters into my own hands. I bought something at Nymph I Am, signed it with my name, and priced it fairly reasonably. This pretty pink glow-in-the-dark -- Martha holds up her index and third fingers, then curls them over to form quotation marks -- "massager" acts as an Instant Invigoration Item. The shaft is flexible and bends with the contours of your vaginal canal. Best yet, you can adjust the speed for a comforting, soothing evening alone or a rough night of sock-it-to-me sex for one. Either way, you'll glow with pleasure for hours. And you'll have me to thank. *Wink.*

28 comments:

  1. Equal opportunity retchfest. The Trumpet and the Martha both turn my stomach.

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  2. Well, there you go... Light up your day, I mean night... is that a GLOWWORM?

    Very Nice Post... but you know that, that's why you posted it! Right!

    Welcome in the letter "I"... thank you!
    Jeremy [Retro]
    AtoZ Challenge Co-Host [2016]

    Stop over and find a free "SIX STRINGS: BLOGGING AtoZ CHALLENGE" Here: http://www.jmhdigital.com/

    HOLLYWOOD NUTS!
    You know you want to know if me or Hollywood... is Nuts?

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  3. I love a glow stick! And dang, what a bargain price.

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  4. They are so lucky we don't have an actual purge event every year! Of course I probably am too!

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  5. Trump's ex's might be interested in that. Then again, Trump himself might be interested...

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  6. The only smart things Ivana did were to marry Trump for the money and then to divorce him and get a bunch of money for herself. Her recent political comments (in support of her idiot ex) show she's just as big an idiot. Let's stick that light where the sun don't shine and watch Trump's bouffant light up.

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    Replies
    1. Haha, shows how much I do my research. "Research" - say what?
      Good points, Mitchell!

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  7. It's good that Ivana left his ass! Although I can't believe she's supporting him.

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    1. I wonder how much he paid her to support him, JoJo.

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  8. I'm sure that your A-Z Challenge is single-handedly responsible for Trump's waning popularity. Well done!

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  9. I'm pretty sure seeing those two would put out any glow as they'd only be tolerated in the dark.

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  10. Speaking of ex-wives, do you watch Dancing With the Stars? Marla Maples is on this season (and she's really good:).

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  11. I really hate to ask why it glows.

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  12. Okay, I think I understand why your videos are not showing up in my comments. I followed the link you posted and it didn't take me to the video. If you go back to my page and click on it, you'll see the problem. You need to go to YouTube (directly) and click on the video. The link looks like this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxvYsxf7f5s

    See the difference in the code between what you posted and this? It's in the search bar at the top after you click on the video.

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  13. Ivana/Martha throw down. Is anyone really a winner? Wink

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  14. And here I thought I was the ONLY one who thought Whoopi Goldberg when I thought sex appeal.

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  15. Even thinking of "sex" and "Trump" in the same thought..makes me physically ill. Now I know that his super model wife and the previous Mrs. Trumps felt that his billions were worth whatever needed to be done. BUT there isn't enough money in the world to make me even want to be in the same room as him. UGGGHHHH!!!

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  16. Should I do a follow-up interview with Mighty Mouth later this month? I am considering it. He is kind of disgusting, but he makes for great satire. He is a satire piece just waiting to happen, lololol.

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    Replies
    1. I vote strongly in favor of your follow-up, Alice. =)

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  17. lolol I'm sitting in the library, with a room full of moms and kiddos and I pulled up this post. Those moms who might have seen, are wanting to read what I'm reading instead of what they're reading, ha! I didn't know you were doing the A-Z I really need to get with it. :) See you tomorrow!

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  18. BAHAHA! That bad Martha doesn't get the picture, does she? Says, good Martha :)

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  19. Thank you Martha for making me totally irrelevant and unnecessary in the bedroom.

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  20. 695$!!!! For a soft glow in the dark toy. Wow!!

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  21. Oh wow she really needs some attention! Poor thing....and I mean thing. If Donald's hair was his ex, he would be saying much smarter things

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  22. Ivana was the most intelligent woman on the earth for leaving that man. How anyone could put up with him is beyond me.

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