Tuesday, June 1, 2010

A Higher Calling?



One must be of very high caliber to land a job nowadays.

Consider this ad for a job in San Francisco (source: craigslist.org):

Marijuana Educators Needed-


New Cannabis Educational Company is looking for highly knowledgeable Marijuana Educators. Cannabis Industry Attorneys, Doctors that do recommendations, Cannabis Chefs, Cannabis Horticulturists, Cannabis Herbalists, Dispensary Owners/Employees, Delivery Service Owners needed to speak to students. Must be comfortable speaking in front of crowds. This is an educational company only. You must be a passionate, up-to-date, knowledgeable Cannabis Industry expert in one or more of the needed areas. Weekend Only work. Part-time. Please send resume. Marijuana, Cannabis, 420, Medical Marijuana, Ganja
·Compensation: D.O.E.
·This is a part-time job.
·Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
·Please, no phone calls about this job!
·Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m working on my cover letter. Here’s what I’ve got so far. Feel free to add suggestions. 
Dear Highering Committee,
You should higher me. Here’s why:

1) I believe strongly that all brownies are “special brownies.”
2) I graduated from High School.
3) I’m routinely asked, “What the hell are you on?”
4) I get ravenously hungry when I haven’t eaten in 12 minutes.
5) I once listened to the Doobie Brothers, accidentally. (I thought they were the Bee Gees.)
6) I made a tie-dye shirt at summer camp 32 years ago.

Reefers available upon request.
Peace out!

40 comments:

  1. "reefers available upon request" That made me wince and laugh at the same time. The mark of a perfect line.

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  2. This is why there is a writing award for you at my site. You know how to express the funny. We are happy to have you as part of the 'comment gang'.

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  3. "Must be comfortable speaking in front of crowds."

    How difficult is it to speak to a crowd of potheads? I should imagine they'd be impressed whatever you said...

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  4. you should get higher based on that cover leter man...

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  5. On the basis of your resume, I’d “higher” you in a nanosecond.
    Bet they’re inundated with job applicants!

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  6. You should add how much chocolate you can consume in 8 minutes.

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  7. "Highering" committee....ROFL!!!! Gotta love it!

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  8. That's an impressive cover letter. Who wouldn't higher you reading that? LOL
    Smiles:)

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  9. You should probably talk a bit about your "higher aspirations"... ;-P

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  10. I am so totally loving your comments, and it's not because I'm highered.

    TS, I did a wince-laugh with that one myself. Funny, I wasn't even highered at the time. Thanks. :-}

    Cal, really? THANKS. You are the coolest! I'll be over soon. xo

    MsA,not quite,but you're almost highered.:-]

    GB, great point! Seriously, I wouldn't have to say anything. I could just take a nap in front of them. Thanks for the LOL. xo

    Baygirl, yah ma'an. I agree. Thanks! =}

    Beth, they probably do have a bizillion apps. I appreciate that you'd higher me. xo

    PTM, that's a great point! Thanks! I'll add that immediately or at 4:20. :-]

    Mar, thanks. It's highly appreciated. xo

    Mr.Stupid, smiles and cheer and special brownies back to you, kind sir. :-)

    Seductress, of course, hon. Consider me highered. xo

    CalGal, thanks. Sure is competitive for higher caliber work in this state, huh? =]

    Great point John. It'll make me sound highly intelligent too. xo

    Special brownies (redundant term) to you all,
    Robyn

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  11. The highering folk missed a chance to set up a recruiting table at the World Hemp Expo Extravaganja last wheekend.

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  12. You're a shoe in. You might as well start planning how you're going to spend all that drug...I mean educator money.

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  13. OK, stupid question, was that ad for reals? Wow. I love your cover letter, I should have you write mine :)

    FourthGradeNothing.com

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  14. With the Cover Letter, send a pic of yourself winking while hand-cupping your boobs. You'll get the job, for sure.

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  15. The Doobies rule. I'd hire you.

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  16. I love the afro!

    It seems like your comments keep getting flagged as spam! I'm sorry about that! I don't know why either, it makes no sense.

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  17. Really, Doc? Me, a spammer? I'm not even a pothead. Outrageous! :)

    Cheeseboy, thanks. Does your elementary school need a Marijuana Educator, per chance? xo

    Blase, great idea. But I'm thinking that would work better for a different type of job. It would pay a lot better..hmmm.. (-=

    Ally, yep, word for word. Things are very weird here in the SF Bay Area. It's one of just a few interesting jobs listed. xo

    Copyboy, I have a feeling I'll need to put the money into a cravings account. (I crack myself up.) That was a good one, though. Wasn't it? <-;

    IT, I'm guessing you didn't even make that one up. Did you? "Extravagangja" - LOL. That's really good! xo

    Brownies and kisses,
    Robyn

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  18. IT beat me to it...lol.

    This is why I love San Francisco. We had a Cannabis Convention out here a few weeks ago.

    This could be why I eat so many Cheese Nips.

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  19. Too funny, Jane. Why didn't I hear about this? I mean, I imagine they had plenty of chocolate brownies.
    xoRobyn
    PS Cheese Nips are good too.

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  20. Me... make something up?
    Only if I can't find something really outrageous.
    Evidently they're planning to do it again next year.

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  21. I love that I can rely on your posts to make me laugh!

    Not that this one did of course. No, I appreciate that this one was a serious one.

    Don't know how to tell you this but I don't think you'll get the job...you sound waaaay over-qualified!

    Rapunzel x

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  22. Im with "GOrilla Bananas" what the fuck does it matter if you can speak in front of a crowd if they are all flippin stoned.

    Great post!!!!

    Thanks for stopping by.

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  23. You're right. How dare I question you, IT! It all happens in the Bay Area and beyond. xo

    Ashley, thanks. [-=

    Rapunzel, I can always use friends who tell it like it is. I'm humbled and proud that I won't get the job. xo

    SoccerMom, Thanks. True. They'd love me or a piece of lint no matter what. ;}

    Highly chocolate brownies and kisses,
    Robyn

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  24. Do you perhaps have any higher education than high school, they love that?
    How about bong etiquette, that must be important too right?
    I would include any details concerning Mambo lipping, and of course joint ventures you may have been included in.
    Love you! This is hilarious, wait to the Captain reads this!

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  25. That's hilarious. I can't believe that is a real job post.

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  26. Thanks Bumpkin. Those are highly fabulous additions (joint ventures, bong etiquette and mambo lipping - I seem to have some research to do!) Love back to you.xo

    Jerry, Thanks. Yeah, this highlarious ad is for real. Only in San Francisco! xo

    xoRobyn

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  27. Haha - gold! love it..

    Also love the way you compose photographs. you have a good eye for that.. and theyre always funny..

    ..ah the good old days.. lol

    is this related to the Marijuana University? i just saw a story on it here.. funny but weird..

    =]

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  28. Thanks Anthony. No, it's not related but it is truly bizarre. I never inhaled or exhaled the stuff myself. I just like brownies. xo

    Gayle, I'm glad someone is still tie dying shirts. I got called a "dead head" when I wore my tie dyed shirt many years ago, and I didn't know what that meant. {-;

    Thanks Marnie. They actually only posted that ad for one day. I guess they knew they'd have plenty of applicants in the SF Bay. xo

    Piece (of chocolate)!
    xoRobyn

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  29. You want to go to 7/11 with me? I got the munchies...

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  30. Pat, I'll be right there, friend. LOL. ;-]

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  31. Hmmmmm.... Do they pay relocation fees? Do they offer a petty cash account for munchies? How about free samples?

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  32. I'd hire you immediately, Robyn (you may be a bit overqualified, though..)!;)

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  33. Sorry,

    Forgot what I was gonna write.....


    J

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  34. Next to "Reefers" you can put "Potfolio Available Upon Request".

    Funny stuff, Robyn. Let me know if they have more than one open position. Haha

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