Friday, December 31, 2010

Life by Chocolate's Awards Ceremony, The Best of 2010



 Robyn: Welcome back, Millie and Gertie.
     We haven't seen you in months. You been busy?
        Millie (left) and Gertie (right) giggle and blush.
     Millie: Oh, yes. Yes, we've been getting busy alright.
     Robyn: Ladies, you promised to behave yourselves.
     Let's get on with the show.
     Gertie: Millie, did she say "get it on"?
     Millie: Are you kidding? That celibate little prude?
     Robyn: LADIES!

Millie, clearing throat: Welcome to our show! First, let's look at Life by Chocolate's best comments of 2010. They're out of context, but -then again- so are we. There were too many good ones to choose from, but the boss narrowed it down to just three. She wants you to know she appreciates all of your comments, but she had to make drastic cuts. Finances and all. Sorry. Try again next year. Giggle, giggle.
Gertie: The nominees are...

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    Cheeseboy, who said...Although I have actually taken coconut into my veins (long story, but it involves some bad mushrooms, a tube and a night in a Hawaii hospital), I must say they do sound delicious. BUT nothing, and I mean nothing will ever beat the peanut butter M&M. Ever. (7/29)

     Marlene, who said...You know what's even worse than poor spellers? Those who butcher the English language when speaking! (I should know. I was married to one, once!) How about "upholstraphy" instead of "upholstery"....or "forfill" instead of "fulfill"....or "hud caps" instead of "hub caps". Yeah.....that's what I had!!! (I'm not even going to tell you why I married someone dumber than a bag of bricks....you would be pissin' yourself laughing for years to come, and I can't have Depends making a fortune just because of something I said!) (7/12)

     and Kal, who said...Yeh, and all the cute girls have an out of town boyfriend attenting a military academy. I don't buy it for a second. Can't be real or he IS real but hides the fact that he has an 11th toe until the third date. If he was so perfect some woman he is related to would have set him up with her best friend or her best friend's sister who has only nine toes - so in truth it's a fairy tale match that completes the set, as it were. I am not buying it. Any guy who is on a dating site is a goober or drives across country in his refrideration truck and collects bodies. It's a fact. I know because I read it online. Don't be fooled - hang out at the grocery store and talk to men who are shoping alone. If the salad dressing they buy is anything other than RANCH - you jump at that prize steer and you ride him for the full eight seconds. *Okay, I write great comments, but THAT one should be imortalized in a museum somewhere. (10/28)

Gertie: And the winner is...Kal! We're building a Museum of Science, Industry, and Kal's comments. Congratulations, Kal. We'd send you your award, but Robyn says there isn't one. Budget cuts.
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Millie: The next award is for the best photo. Here it is.

Best photo 





**AWKWARD SILENCE**
Gertie: Oops. Hey! Robyn? Where is she, Millie? How did that one get in there?
Millie: I don't know. Try again.
Gertie: Aww, there we go. It's her adorable chocolatey nephew, Jeremy.
Millie: This last award goes to Robyn's best reason for celibacy. Poor girl. I mean, there are so many virtues to this lifestyle. Right, Gertie? She's Jewish, so she doesn't quite understand our devotion.
Gertie: Yes. You got me. I mean, you got it, Millie. Robyn doesn't get any. I mean, she doesn't get it.
Millie and Gertie blush and giggle.
Robyn: LADIES!
Millie, clearing throat: Final recognition goes to Mr. Cemeteries, for this internet dating ad.

REASON #34: What to say? I do dishes, Landry and not bad on the barbecue, I came out to help my sister movie into her new home was offered a job and stayed, SO here to give California a try I was told it was allot warmer here? ..thought Id stay one or tow years pay off my home then decide sell and movie here or movie back home, (still in the air) Not shore how it will sound but it will depend in part if I meet some one out here! just got back into working out need to drop about 20lb like to meet some one to see the sights with have a good dinner with, to go any further than that it all depends on the cemeteries we have, I think if the cemeteries is good the rest can fail.

Gertie: Mr. Cemetery? Mr. Cemetery? Millie, I don't think he made it to the theatre.
Millie: No, I don't think he made it either.
Millie and Gertie look up, then - just in case - down, cross their hearts, and depart for some prayer.
Robyn: Thank you all for watching our show. Enjoy the end of 2010.  xo

23 comments:

  1. That 'Kal' guy is a genius with his comments. He always bats them out of the park. But you always remember that it's pitching that wins games. If you didn't set him up so well with your initial statements he couldn't comment his way out of a wet paper bag, which I hear he wears on his head every third Friday of the month. This post made my year. I just can't love you more than I do right now.

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  2. Too fun! Great post!!! Happiest of Days to you in 2011

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  3. So far this is the best look back I've seen today.

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  4. I thought it'd been awhile since those two had shown up. Always a fun post when they do.

    That picture of your neph really is something else. He's clearly in chocolate heaven.

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  5. Those great spellers never disappoint. Here's to an even better 2011!

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  6. Loved the comment, picture, and most definitely the Mr. Man dude. I remember him. He was a bit ridiculous.

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  7. Well, I'm sure I came in a close second, but I am just honored to be nominated. I am like that lady that is in the Soap Operas and is always nominated for crud, but never wins. I am like her of the blogging community.

    I love both pictures, but that chocolate one makes me laugh every time I see it.

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  8. Ca88, my pleasure. Happy new year. xo

    Kal, I'll keep working on my pitching arm, knowing you'll keep hitting them out of the park. I love you too. ;0)

    Daffy, thank you. All the best for a happy year to you too. xo

    IT, I'm honored. Thanks. Happy 2011. [-;

    TS, I guess I was shy about bringing them back because they tease me so much. Those brats. Thanks. xo

    Sarah, to you as well, my friend. =o]

    Babysis, thank you. Happy new year. xo

    Cheeseboy, you were way up there. I had so many that I tossed out. You didn't lose out on any crud either, since I didn't give any away. Is the coconut vein story true? {-:

    Baygirl, thanks. Happy new year. xo

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  9. YES!!! MR CEMETERIES!! I found him so intriguing I had to facebook about him. Love the post! I also love Millie & Gertie.
    Happy New Year my friend! :)

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  10. This was hilarious!! I loved the whole post. Marlene's comment was beyone funny.

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  11. that should read beyond funny.

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  12. LOL!

    Happy New Year, sweet friend!
    May everyday of the new year glow with good cheer for you and your family.
    I'm so happy to have met you in this past year.

    Big hugs!
    B xx

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  13. Oh, those were all definitely deserving of some blog-lovin! I'm wondering if those dating web-sites have an upgrade package that includes spellcheck? But then again, when all the world's airable land has been developed and/or turned into a parking lot and you need a place to plant great Aunt Gertie, um I mean, Millie, er, Mildred, then Mr. Cemetery there might look like a catch. At least he plans ahead!
    Thanks for the LOLs! - G

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  14. Thanks for the nomination, toots! Love ya!!!! (Now I'm going back into hiding for another 31 hours or so!)

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  15. Not only have I not been blogging much but I also hadn't been reading others blogs either. It's posts like this that make me realise how much I've missed it!

    Looking forward to being entertained by you and your commenters a lot this year!

    Happy 2011!

    Rapunzel x

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  16. You've got the best commenters, but then look what they have to comment on! I always enjoy your posts!

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  17. OT, thanks. xo

    Miley, I'm so glad you saw this. I remember (with a big smile) the extra mileage you and the other Robyn (and others) gave Mr. Cemeteries via facebook. Little does he know how much laughter he's spreading. Maybe I was mistaken in thinking mutual cemeteries would kill a relationship. ;0)

    Marnie, I agree. Thanks. xo

    Kristina. Thank you. It's a good new year so far. I hope you're enjoying. [-:

    BettyM, happy, happy to my dear blog friend across the world. I'm so glad for this connection too. xo

    Georgina, I may just have to keep your comment in mind for next year's awards. It's a great one. Thanks. =->

    Marlene, love you too. I hope have been enjoying your hibernation. You deserve it. xo

    Rapunzel, I, in turn, look forward to reading more of your escapades. Thanks so much, my friend. {0:

    BB, I agree. I am blessed with great bloggy friends and commenters. Good fodder doesn't hurt either. xo

    Happy new year, all. xo

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  18. Always a tough call between the Cheeseboy and Kal!

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  19. Congrats to all the nominees and to the winner! Happy New Year to all of us!

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