And I Wrote This Book.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Rudolph's Special Problem, a Saturday Centus

Jenny Matlock

Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus challenges us to create a piece within 100 words, based on a prompt. This week's prompt is bolded below. Check out Ms. Matlock's site for lots of silly Centus posts, along with Jenny's wonderful writing. While you're at it, jump aboard. Saturday Centus is a fun, worthwhile endeavor.

Now, please enjoy my offering.
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Rudolph's Special Problem

Times are tough. Rudolph's lost his charge. The poor deer's tried everything: LED bulbs, performance enhancing pills, Emotional Freeing Techniques...to no avail.

Meanwhile, Santa patronizes Starbucks. Gulping a grande chai nog, he ponders Plan B. Do I pick the Tom Tom, Garmin, or Magellan? Shall I shop Best Buy, Costco, eBay or Amazon? Farklempt,* he skypes the elves for a consult.

Vixen and Prancer strut by, giggling about Rudolph's special problem.

Eyeing Santa's laptop, Vixen sneers, "What was he thinking? OMG! Elves are soooo 2009..."


"Totally," adds Prancer. "Hasn't he heard of outsourcing?"

Santa flashes the deers a gesture that's inappropriate for the season and this Centus.

***

*Farklempt= Yiddish. Utterly flustered and discouraged.


43 comments:

  1. LMAO. Performance enhancing drugs for deer. And I always say, "I was non-Jewish farklempt".

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  2. That was really funny Robyn!
    I never trusted elves anyway...

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  3. I don't like it when fantasy characters are more hip and up-to-date when I am...

    But I love this story!

    Kudos on a story well written.

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  4. Whatever he picks please warn him not to get the one you got! (hope you're feeling better my friend)

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  5. Tell him not the Tom Tom. We've been going in circles with ours. Love this!~Ames

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  6. this was really well crafty and a hoot!!!

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  7. Wait, so are the deer taking viagra? I love reading your stuff because it always takes some thought to get the joke.

    If it is viagra, I can see why. It is really cold at the North Pole.

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  8. Robyn, you are a scream! I know I tell you all the time, but you are so funny! Love to come visit you!
    That Vixen, she is trouble!
    Hope you are having a wonderful weekend friend!
    xo
    gi gi

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  9. Farklempt is the perfect word!

    Love the outsourcing idea...

    Really entertaining!

    =)

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  10. OT, you might try for the full-blown Jewish farklempt sometime. It's quite an experience. xo

    Guatami, thanks for enjoying. :0)

    Pat, you're right. Elves aren't trustworthy. They told Santa to use yahoo maps. xo

    Gayle, thank you. [-:

    Teresa, thank you. I hate it too, especially when I have to do research to create hip characters. Those snobs. They humble me every time. xo

    Sarah, well, I am not over my $4000 tom-tom mishap. But we'll just keep that one a secret between friends. Psst, they sent me another. Do you think I can sell it for $4K?

    Don't get the tom-tom, people. If you do, be careful where and how you stick it. That's all I'm saying. Because I care. ;0)

    Ames, I agree. See above. The Garmin or Magellan have got to be better. Thanks. xo

    David, are you calling me a "ho"? Um, is this the proper English term for "sweet and innocent lady"? I thought so. Thanks. [-:

    Jo, I'm glad you liked it. Thank you. xo

    Cheeseboy, I love that your responses reveal that I've done my job. I like to leave room for your imagination to take you where it will, though I do tend to make those destinations rather obvious. Don't I? =oD

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  11. *angst* has reached the the north pole too....too bad.....awesome imaginative post...did Santa do the "bird" just wondering.... ;)

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  12. Lol. Couldn't help but wonder really what Santa was thinking. really. Hahaha!

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  13. Does Rudolf need Viagra? Is there a Yiddish words for "Impotent"? I only know words like "schnorrer" and "mamser".

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  14. I saw you mentioned on Betty's site and as (A)I love Betty and (B) I'm a chocoholic I knew I had to stop by to say hello. A great blog, I've enjoyed my visit. Best wishes, PW

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  15. Ha! I knew it! Santa is Jewish!!

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  16. Hopping over to say good morning! I enjoyed my visit to your blog. Hugs! P.S> please stop by for a visit and don't forget to enter the giveaway.

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  17. Santa giving the finger is a wonderful image! x

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  18. Performance enhancing drugs! Good one, Robin.

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  19. Ha!! I loved it!! That was awesome. :)

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  20. Gi gi, we would have a blast. I'm glad to entertain. This one makes me laugh a lot too. Steer clear of Vixen and Prancer. xo

    Sue, thanks. I do all I can to keep Yiddish alive. ;0)

    Rek, it would be inappropriate of me to describe Santa's vulgarity. Sorry. xo

    Emen, thanks for the visit and comments. Glad to make you laugh. [-:

    GB, I think farklempt is used as the
    catchall. xo

    Deborah and June, thanks much! =->

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  21. Loved the story--Santa Clause in 2010 is scarier than I thought ;)

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  22. I guess this is an up to date Santa LOL. Great centus.

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  23. PW, Betty's a sweet lady. Thanks for the visit and comment. Enjoy good chocolate. xo

    Judie, oy, you got it! LOL. ;0>

    Katherine, thanks. I'm glad to join your following too. xo

    Kitty, I kinda like that one too. Thanks. [-:

    Alex, thank you. I wouldn't be surprised if there is such a thing. xo

    Babysis, I'm glad you enjoyed. =o]

    TIS, thanks sis. Big hugs. xo

    Sarah, Santa's becoming a scrooge. You can't really blame the guy. He works so hard one night a year. {0:

    Viki, thank you. Santa's trying - albeit kicking and screaming every step of the way. xo

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  24. Santa's got a brand new bag! Huh? Too funny!

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  25. LOL! Love it!
    Too funny! I never trusted elves anyway.

    Have a great day, Robyn!
    Big hugs!
    B xx

    P.S. Just noticed Petty Witter's comment.
    She's a darling and her blog rocks!
    You'll love it, Robyn as much as I did!

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  26. I laughed pretty hard at this :0D

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  27. LMAO! That's all I have to say! I'm glad you are OUTSOURCING TO US!!!

    John Ravishankarkeishnah Smith

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  28. I thought it was "verklempt". Perhaps I'm wrong.

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  29. A little late, but what the heck. The laughs are still here!

    Lovely centus. :-)

    Pearl

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  30. Thanks Betty. I appreciate the connect with Petty too. Be well. xo

    Marnie, I'm glad. ;0)

    John Ravish...Love ya. xo

    Heff, "verklempt" or "farklempt/ferklempt," it's all the same - as long as it's said in agony. [-;

    Pearl, never too late. I kept it up for folks like you (and because I don't have another post ready to go). Thanks. xo

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  31. Hilarious...what a wonderful, different take on this week's prompt! I enjoyed reading it very much.

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  32. Outsourcing, indeed! Can just picture Santa's expression :)

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  33. Pretty darn funny...clever take on our prompt...Peace and blessings

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  34. Dear Robyn,
    This is so funny and crazy! I love this word 'farklempt'. Imagine, Santa speaking Yiddish! (But actually it sounds a little like a Swedish word 'förryckt', which means 'crazy'.)
    Lovely mix of hilarity!
    Happy Holidays
    Anna
    Anna's SC#33

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  35. Genius girl!

    Absolutely, totally brilliant!

    This was amazing, start to finish.

    Love the dialogue and the visualization.

    I'm sitting here grinning like a crazy girl. Thanks for starting my Monday with a smile!

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