And I Wrote This Book.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

The List of Unattainable New Year's Resolutions, a Saturday Centus

Jenny Matlock

Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus challenges us to create a piece within 100 words, based on a prompt. This week's prompt is bolded below. Check out Ms. Matlock's site for lots of silly Centus posts, along with Jenny's wonderful writing. While you're at it, jump aboard. Saturday Centus is a fun, worthwhile endeavor.

Now, please enjoy my offering.
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Her crumpled up list or resolutions must have fallen out of her pocket, bra, or panties during the family photo shoot. Butler Von Trump uncovered it while dusting.

“Good lord,” he guffawed, “she’ll never accomplish any of these.”

1) Pursue my talents.
2) Get a talent.
3) Read a book.
4) Learn to read.
5) Donate to shareity.
6) Find out if shareity has anything to do with perfume or Cher. If so, I’ll totally rock it.
7) Continue being celibit.
8) Dump two of the five men.
9) Keep this list privett.
10) ‘Cuz it’s personnel.

By Kim Kardashian

30 comments:

  1. Dump two of the five men......why not 5/5. prime example of underachieving :(

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  2. Funny, light and a great Centus take!

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  3. ha, ha - sounds a bit astute for Kim, tho. Hope your New Year was great...

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  4. I love that "cuz it's personal" is a resolution.

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  5. I've never understood just what those people are famous for, anyway! Obviously not their I.Q.s!! Happy New Year, Robyn!!
    xoxo

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  6. You are hilarious Robyn!
    Happy New Year to you...

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  7. hee hee hee!

    Resolution #1: find something to chuckle about each and every day. Achieved for Jan 2, 2011

    Glad to meet you, Robyn!

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  8. lol whats that 9 and 10 gone out the window then already! very clever :)

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  9. #3 and #4 won't be easy to achieve in that order, but I give the woman credit for setting herself challenging assignments.

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  10. Haha, please add this to your top 10 post list! hilarious!

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  11. This was hysterical. What a clever, funny take on the prompt - LOVE it! Do you think that she knows that "celibit" has nothing to do with being a celebrity or eating celery? Just sayin... Thanks for the laugh! Kat

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  12. Thanks so much, all. Sorry I'm short on time to respond more personally...I'm heading out shortly. I appreciate you sharing the laughs with me whenever you visit Life by Chocolate. xo

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  13. Several great guys from your previous posts came to mind. They will be great matches for her!

    Good luck Robyn!

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  14. Dear Robyn,
    Very funny. You put a smile on my face today!
    Hugs,
    Anna
    Anna's SC#35

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  15. FUNNY!

    I wonder, with the list gone will she remember her resolutions? Or would it make a difference?

    Kudos!

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  16. Oh, Robyn that is great! Love that the Butler found it, nice touch!
    I love all your reader's comments, funny stuff!
    love ya
    gi gi

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  17. LOL, too funny. These people that get famous for pretty much nothing get to me. Although many people follow them so they end up making tons of money. Doesn't make much sense to me, ha.

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  18. Love the reference to the family photo! And the butler. This really made me laugh. Very well done.

    Namaste.........cj

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  19. Loved it! Very inventive, thanks for the giggles. :-)

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  20. fab...did Kim see this?....she would ensure you your 15 mins of reality T.V fame....May even make u part of their group..Robynashian anyone???

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  21. LOL! Hilarious as usual, Robyn! I can totally see Kim K. writing this! :o)

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  22. I'm back from my trip, and it was wonderful to come home to all of your comments. I love you all. As much as I make you laugh, you do the same for me.

    For now, I just want to share that this was timely. Wasn't it? Did you see the K. sisters win for "best guilty pleasure" on the People's Choice Awards? I guess all it takes is a bra with lots of lift, lots to lift, the push of a hip to the side, and some hair flinging action. And then there's the money thing. There's always that. xo

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  23. I love this!

    What a clever, clever lady you are Miss Robyn.

    Love the irony here.

    Still chuckling over several of the items on the list.

    Thanks for linking. 2011 is off to a roaring start with great writing like this.

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  24. I would bet if you compared your "fiction" with her real list, there would be little to no differences. I'm just saying...

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