Thursday, July 29, 2010

Special Report & Friday Follow: The Coconut M&M





RawknRobyn (RR): Ladies and Gentlemen, Pirates and Atheists, I am somewhat thrilled to bring back to our studio the blogosphere’s one and only Powdered Toast Man! Please take a seat, ladies. You too, PTM. You can let them sign your chest later.

RR: It’s good to see you again, Mr. Powdered Toast. I must say that even before you reviewed the pretzel m&m, you were clearly excited up about the mere concept of the coconut m&m. In fact, your enthusiasm seemed rather unnatural. How do you explain this, and –the question we’ve all been dying to know: Do you have a fetish for coconuts?

Powdered Toast Man (PTM): I am addicted to coconut; it is like my crack or chocolate for you. I would inject coconut intravenously if I could figure out how. Is it a fetish if I smother Nicole in Coconut Crème Pie every other day?

RR: I’m not an expert in the field, not quite yet. I am, however, currently working on my Ph.D. in Coconut Fetishes and Those Who Love Those Who Have Them. Thus, I can say quite confidentially – I mean confidently- that you are at high risk of a Coconut Fetish Disorder. (PTM nods, grateful to have gained such insight into his problems.)

RR: Tell me, how would you describe the coconut m&m? Please keep your answer limited to 17 words or less. Budget cuts and all.

PTM: I only need one word to describe the coconut m&m and that word would have to be........
RR: (Looking at her fingers, having counted 17 of them somehow) So close! Tell us, what are the positive attributes of the coconut m&m?

PTM: - They cured my Polio.
- I gave some to the monster in my closet, and he promised not to scare me for a week.
- A tasty alternative to Viagra
- They are pre-husked unlike actual coconuts.
- They don't taste like chicken.

RR (looking excited, and ready to give PTM a high-five): You’re right! They do taste better than Viagra! –High five happens at this juncture- I finally found someone who agrees with me on that. Tell us, what are its flaws?

PTM: - These ones don't talk like in the commercials.
- They do not cure Rubella or the Mumps.
- The gas station won't let me pay for my gas in coconut m&m's, even though I paid my cell phone bill with them.
- Do not make mac & cheese with them.
- They do not make a good suppository.

RR (nodding in affirmation, with a somber expression, almost tearful): Yes, Viagra is better for that, I must say. I’m not a big fan of the coconut, but we all know how I feel about chocolate. Do you recommend the coconut m&m for folks like me?

PTM (looking highly puzzled) How can you not like coconut? Coconut and chocolate go together like lamb and tuna fish. What, lamb and tuna aren't a good combo? Who are you to say what tastes good together?...... Oh, so as camera-man #3 you have a degree in culinary arts?..... Oh, you do. Where did you attend?..... You don't say, that is a really good school. So how did you become a camera-man then?..... I see, sorry to hear that. Those bear traps can be quite tricky. I'll give you my # after the interview, we can have lunch. Do you like Chuck E Cheese?

RR (Red faced, she looks at Camera-man #3, unbuttons her top button and sticks her chest out towards him.): What’s going on? I was supposed to get a Big Mac tonight!

Camera-man #3 is now attempting to write his phone number on PTM’s chest. Audience says, in unison: “Ooohh!” RR drop kicks the Camera-man through the big glass window – Audience says, in unison: “AAhhh!”, and the interview continues as if nothing just happened.

RR: Between the pretzel and the coconut m&m, which is your preference, and why?

PTM: Definitely the coconut ones by far. The pretzel ones didn't quite taste what I thought they would taste like. I didn't notice when I ate them but a lot of other people say that the pretzels taste stale. Also I wasn't chased or kidnapped by pirates this time around. I still have rope burns on my inner thighs from being tied up.

RR: Will you incorporate the coconut m&m in any part of your upcoming wedding festivities?

PTM: Nicole's engagement and wedding ring are 23% coconut. I purchased them together to save money and so they would match. I want my ring to be at least 35% coconut and 30% chocolate. We are also not having a traditional wedding. No dress or tuxedo. We are both going to wear giant m&m costumes. She, of course, will be wearing white and I will be wearing red. The bridesmaids are wearing licorice bikinis and the groomsmen are sporting fruit roll-up banana hammocks. We will make sure that there is no eating during the ceremony.

RR (Smiling and imagining this fantasy wedding, her face and the Camera-man’s superimposed on Gilligan and the Professor’s bodies. The Camera-man has a large scar from the drop kick): Oh, sorry, we’re just about out of time. Budget cuts and all.

RR: Thanks so much for this very entertaining and informative interview, Powdered Toast Man. Congratulations on your growing following that has hit the 3-digits, too. Plus, we're all looking forward to celebrating your blogiversary with coconut m&m's.

RR and PTM shake hands. Lights fade. The last two camera men run scared. The audience continues to give a standing ovation for hours.






30 comments:

  1. I have a total love for coconut and chocolate bars and NEEDED to have one each morning break when I was teaching or I would get the shakes. Very funny interview. If only you were made of coconut with chocolate boobies, you would not be alone to this day.

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  2. OMG, that was hilarious! I'm so glad I wasn't drinking any coffee when I read it :0)

    Coconut and chocolate, two of my favorite superfoods - woohoo! Great post.

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  3. Although I have actually taken coconut into my veins (long story, but it involves some bad mushrooms, a tube and a night in a Hawaii hospital), I must say they do sound delicious.

    BUT nothing, and I mean nothing will ever beat the peanut butter M&M. Ever.

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  4. I'm a coconut person.
    But, I prefer it in pastries and deepfired shrimp... oh yeah!

    great interview!

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  5. Coconut M&M's?!!! Are you serious?!! I've never heard of such a thing. You're pulling my leg, right?

    P.S. RR, how do you know what Viagra tastes like?! *gulp*

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  6. The coconut/chocolate thing is old hat. The Bounty Bar was introduced in 1951 and its TV commercials featured a woman in a bikini paddling in the sea while fantasizing about getting ravished by a dolphin.

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  7. This was hilarious. That Powdered Toast Man is one funny dude.

    Oh yeah, Robyn is pretty awesome too. :-)

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  8. This was hilarious. I knew the monster in closets loved coconuts. I'm so glad for PTM that the monster won't be scaring him for a week. That's a great deal. BTW, how about the monsters under the bed?
    Toodles...

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  9. So, I can't do the coconut thing..makes me gag just thinking about it, but hilarious!

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  10. I do have to agree with Cheeseboy about the Peanut Butter M&M. That is heaven in an M&M. However, I have wanted to try the Coconut..it looks likeable.
    Thanks for this! It was a great way to end an awful night!! :)

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  11. Kal, that's where I erred. Thanks. xo

    Marnie, thanks. I'm glad I'm not drinking anything now. I'm still laughing myself at this weirdness. (-;

    CB, sorry the coconut didn't take to an IV. Better luck next time! xo

    Pat, coconut with deep fried shrimp - now that sounds yummy! Thanks. :0]

    Marlene, you mean you don't know what Viagra tastes like? How unusual. xo

    GB, I have those fantasies, but they are not induced by Bounty Bars. (Snickers or Milky Way.) [-:

    PTM, I agree. These two are well worth the price of admission. They are utterly nuts. xo

    MrS, I don't know. Perhaps I'll have to bring him back to address that very question. Have a good weekend. ;0}

    TheNinja, I actually agree - mostly. Some forms of coconut I can tolerate, and the m&m's are so sweet that they aren't bad. xo

    BabySis, thank you. I'm glad to help you laugh when you needed to. I haven't tried the peanut m&m. I hear they are God's favorite. ;0b

    Chocolate coconut kisses,
    xoRobyn

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  12. Coconut has the same reason as Cherries as to why I don't like either one.

    It's the 'texture'.

    The wife loves her some coconut.

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  13. I really enjoyed this info. I was using the coconut M&M's as a suppository and was not fully satisfied with the results. Now I use the "Hugs and Kisses" series of Hershey kisses. I feel loved each time.

    You guys make my nose like a soda fountain, only with orange juice...(ouch)

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  14. I can't wait to try!!
    I am now following you through
    Follow Friday 40+!!
    Peggy Gorman
    http://pegsplay.blogspot.com/

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  15. Coconut M&M's! Another epicurean fantasy become reality! I can't wait to try them! I actually tried my first pretzel M&M's today and I really liked the salty-sweet combination. (Now I see what you women have been enjoying all these years!) Another hilarious interview with PTM, Robyn! Great job!

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  16. You two are just a perfect pair for comedy. Seriously funny.

    I might have to try them. I loves me the coconut.

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  17. Hahaha absolutely wonderful interview , you two make quite the comedic Duo.

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  18. Blase, and I'm sure you love the wife's coconuts. It's all about texture. xo

    TIS, I'm glad you switched to the hugs & kisses series. They do go down (or up) easier. As far as the soda fountain image - well - sorry about that, but it is cute. :O)

    Peggy, thanks! Let me know how you like them. I'm happy to follow you too. xo

    T-Go, thanks. Yes, it's that salty, sweet combo (kind of a: "Let me close my eyes and pretend this tastes chocolaty" thing) that keeps us women going. (-;

    TS, keep us posted on how you like 'em. Thanks. We think we're a perfect duo too. Don't tell him, though, but my CPA suggests another partner. PTM's rates have increased to $.03 per word. With studio rental fees, I'm out $100 per word. I'm not sure if I'm getting a good deal or not. xo

    Nippy, so great to see you here. Thanks! We try. Well, scary part is, we don't try too hard. I think we're both just naturally bizarro. =D

    xoCoconut Chocolate kisses,
    Robyn

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  19. Coconut M&M's! Guess I have to wander over the border after exams... ummmm

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  20. Mounds bars are classic choc-and-coconut combination, right? I know an older lady who used to give them up for Lent--she thought they were so good, they must be carnal!

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  21. Baygirl, be careful. We don't take border crossing lightly in this country, but you've got a darn good reason. xo

    Marg, that is cute and funny. I hope the lady didn't go into withdrawals. Yes, I'm pretty sure you're right about Mounds bars. :0)

    Chocolate coconut kisses,
    xoRobyn

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  22. Chocolate and coconut are a perfect combination.
    We only have milk chocolate and peanut M&M’s in the Netherlands. Not fair.
    But we do have Bounty chocolate bars. It has a coconut filling covered with milk chocolate. Yummy!

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  23. Once again it made you laugh… well maybe rather give an eye roll instead. Coconut M&Ms? Nasty. Peanut M&Ms? Rock on!

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  24. I wish i liked coconut-it freaks me out so!

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  25. coconut in most things is taste. enjoy.

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  26. Very good interview and very timely. I had a friend call me the other night all excited about these M & M's!!

    Love Powdered Toast Man!

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  27. I got to try some! (pssst, Robyn! Viagra is for men. Girls are not supposed to eat them.)

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  28. DDG, the Netherlands has the Dutch Donut Girl, so I think it's fair. Bounty bars sound really good. xo

    Teachinfourth, I actually think the coconut m&m's are too sweet, and I have a sweet tooth. Peanut ones, okay. Thanks! ;-}

    Sadako, thanks for coming by! Yeah, I'm not a coconut fan either. xo

    Rose, thanks. I'm picky regarding coconut. Some forms (eg coconut juice), I like. Others, not so much. <-;

    BB, that's funny that your friend called you about this. Is your friend also named Powdered Toast Man? Regardless, I love him too. xo

    Sarah, you always make me laugh. You are such a good friend to point this out to me privately, too. But, I didn't know..it comes in a nice little package and looks like candy. It doesn't taste bad either. Plus, I really don't want to go food shopping! This is not to mention the bodily effects. Don't get me started on that one! ;o]

    xoChocolate coconut kisses,
    Robyn

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  29. You are so darn funny! You should have your own show! I laughed out loud at this one!

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  30. Coconut M&Ms??? OMG! Where have I been?

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