Because writers might on occasion contend with insecurities, Alex J. Cavanaugh founded an Insecure Writer’s Support Group for bloggers. We’re posting monthly, exposing our insecurities and/or offering support. This is our third "meeting." Please visit Alex's blog to learn what others are grappling with. You may find you're not alone and may also glean precious words of wisdom.
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NaNo What?
I throw myself against the door once more. It still won’t budge. Damnit, I don’t really want to be here but they had brownies last week. “Hello in there! Would somebody please let me in?”
The door cracks open and I squeeze through a narrow space, nearly suffocated by a very wide hairy creature taking up eighty percent of the room. He grunts, belches and prepares to speak. “If you don’t mind, Alex, or even if you do, I’ll run the show this month.”
I roll my eyes as my blood vessels simmer. Lord I hate these self-important types. “Eh hm, excuse me Alex-” I raise my hand but speak out of turn anyway. “Will there be brownies again this week?”
Alex offers a quick, tactful nod and looks to the wide-load to continue.
“As I was saying, I’m here this month because it’s all about me. I’m kind of a big deal.” He smirks. “I’m NaNoWriMo.”
“Heh? That’s your name?” I can’t contain my thoughts. “Sounds to me like you’re from Ork. Nanu nanu, shozbot!” I laugh, humored by myself. “Who gave you that lengthy title nobody can remember, the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act Commission?
Peering at me, NaNo’s face reddens. “What’s your problem, lady? I mean, you’re clearly sexually repressed and sublimate with chocolate. But what’s your problem with me? I accept all types, amateurs and pros.”
Sigh. “Sorry. I guess I’m still reeling from giving out more candy than I ate on Halloween. And yeah, the repression and, um, I'm out of batteries. Besides that, you intimidate the hell out of me. All you pro writers with your queries and critiques and proposals, the MS’s and WIP’s and MC’s whose archetypal metaphorical symbolism and multidimensional characterization of the dark-light dichotomy casts doubt upon my abilities to conjure up a simple piece of literary crap. Then there’s the fact that it takes me about 18 months to write 50,000 words. How do you SOB’s do it? Not to mention publishing the best selling book, How to Write a How to Book on How to Write a Book in 39,526 easy steps...All the acronyms and rules and regulations leave me feeling inadequate. I just wanna write stuff and eat chocolate.
I turn to Alex. “Brownies, yet?” He opens the door to the lobby. Phew, I’m dismissed.
As I step out, I turn back to the hairy creature. “Then again, maybe I’ll do you next year.” Wink.
Good luck to all those braving NaNoWriMo. Despite how it may sound I really admire you for taking on the challenge! You can do it, Jenn!
Happy November, everyone.
Awww, I love this!
ReplyDeleteI hate the insecurity that comes with writing sometimes. Reckon you just let all of that nagging insecurity go and focus on writing from the heart.
And, um, now I'm really hungry for brownies! lol :)
*Hugs*
I'll just take the brownies and skip the writing!
ReplyDeleteDon't underestimate the importance of a simple piece of literary crap!
ReplyDeleteI so relate to this. I'm an intimidated, inadequate, wannabe interloper and I don't quite seem to belong anywhere - but the brownies sound tempting. I'll peek through the window and see what's happening over at Alex's. Sue
ReplyDeleteA writing monster? I don't think his size in anything to be envied. 1000 interesting words are better than 10,000 boring ones.
ReplyDeleteStill unsure what to do here. But I'm with you on wishing luck to those who do it.
ReplyDeleteDraven
Oh Robyn, since I am holding your hand here, u better hold mine when I fail in my 50000 target again this year...and put up my mop post.
ReplyDeleteFantabulous IWSG post, hard to beat it.
You've done it again! Another great spoof on Insecure Writer's combined with the NaNo challenge! I especially enjoyed your Cliff Clavin speech. Hope your batteries get charged up soon! Julie
ReplyDeleteInsecurities probably never a bad thing to be honest! It let's us always seek to improve ourself right? So long as it doesn't take us over and destroy us it's fine!
ReplyDeleteLove paragraph # 8 – let’s create and adhere to a new acronym – WSAEC!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Dreaming of brownies now though - maybe I shouldn't write today, just bake?
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Robyn. Maybe next year. (I'll devote a lot of time helping you find those brownies though.)
ReplyDeleteIt's not about the size of your monster. . .ahem, well, I won't go there. I am awed by people who can really lay the words down. But I think if you have the right inspiration, the story comes alive in quantity--and quality.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to suspect there's nothing insecure about you. You have a sassy opinion about everything...I love it. Bring on the brownies...don't know about the size thing. :)
ReplyDeleteLOL @ Stephen!
ReplyDeleteI always skip NaNoWriMo. I'll write on my own, thank you. But for those who like the deadline, go at it, I say!
Now did someone say something about brownies?
Pearl
I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought of this when I read "NaNo."
ReplyDeleteShozbot, indeed.
Just as intimidated and unpublished, but I'm a great believer in putting your head down and plowing on through. My best advice is to get 'neck deep'. Neck deep in everything and start swimming.
ReplyDeleteSo far I'm loving NaNo(it's my first time). Maybe it will eat me alive,but that will be just another adventure.
That was truly wonderful! I don't do the NaNo thing either and though I respect those who do, I really don't get it. I mean, I write really fast (with an outline) so it's not that I COULDN'T do it per se, but what's the point really? It's all fun, I'm sure, but I just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteI do get the IWSG thing though. I love being a part of that group! But when I look at your writing, you don't strike me as insecure. I think you've got it going on!
Thank you, awesome people! I especially appreciate new visitors and am just now starting to make the rounds.
ReplyDeleteAl, and to you. That is, I'm glad I'm not the only one, though it's a bit scary you're the one who's mind I'm in sync with. =)
Stephen, can I quote you on that?
Rek, you can do it. You can do anything. Keep going.
Draven thanks for the follow!
Julie, you seem to have no problems with quantity or quality (speaking in terms of writing of course). I'm not about to venture a comment on your personal life but I'm guessing it's more exciting than mine.
Chocolate brownies all around.
xoRobyn
Laughed out loud when I read the Mork & Mindy line! I'm with you - brownies, please!! (Can't even remember the last time I had one. Gosh, that's almost sacrilegious, isn't it?)
ReplyDeleteRobyn, no mater what, you'll always get brownies!
ReplyDeleteyou have to break your confort zone to become better, the challenges help with that :]
ReplyDeleteMost excellent! I did the hairy bastard a few years back and our lust-child is an unruly thing who won't grow up. So. There. I say it's like tattoos and marathons - do it more than once and you are suspect.
ReplyDeleteI'll be back because I like my humour dry like my Martinis and that's how you serve it.
I just let my writing be my writing. I don't make excuses for it. I know that I am not in perfect tense, and my sentences go on and on and on...
ReplyDeleteBut I enjoy it and that is that...
I will fly the bird to whoever decides to criticize it...
So be it!
Lisa
I think this is perfect. I'm sure, however, that you would do an amazing job! :) But it totally scares the crap out of me.
ReplyDeleteI just can't make myself commit to it. I need to, I want to, but I know I just can't do right now.
ReplyDeleteBrownies? Now that's another subject...
Love it Robyn. I totally hear you ... and I've done it twice!
ReplyDeletePersonally i think its like bragging that you had a quick shag. But was it any good? The 50,000 words I wrote was so rushed, (as if it could be any other way), that it took me a full year of editing to make it good. I dont believe its worth it unless you want to brag that you 'wrote a novel.'
But at what cost?
It's like a bunch of guys standing around, seeing who can toss off first.. lol
As the saying goes, slow and steady wins the race.
I like your take on it though. Funny stuff.
=]
That NaNo creature figured you out quickly. More perceptive than I had given it credit for! ;-)
ReplyDeleteNow, where's that chocolate?
I love this!!! Yet again you've had me laughing as I sit at my desk. I keep giving Mr NaNo a wink and promising I'll be with him next year... but I don't think I will. It sounds like self-flagellation to me!
ReplyDeleteI must join this guy's group with you, what with my raging insecurity and all. Especially if there's brownies.
ReplyDeleteYou should do NaNo Whatever, Robyn! If anybody has the creativity, it's you! :)
Happy November!! You're an amazing writer. I honestly don't know how you come up with such great posts. Enjoy the brownie...the rest will happen xo
ReplyDeleteThank you, my sweet support group!
ReplyDeletexoRobyn
BROWNIES! BROWNIES!!!!
ReplyDeletePhilippine Prudential