Saturday, November 19, 2011

Thanksgiving Love, American Style: Saturday Centus

The Saturday Centus, hosted by Jenny Matlock, challenges us to write a piece within 100 words. The festive prompt is bolded below. Enjoy, and visit other offerings here. Have an atypically wonderful Thanksgiving season.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Pass the turkey b*stard.”

“Huh, turkey baster? It’s already basted.”

“No I said b*stard you turkey. Pass it over here. I’m hungry.”

“Ma, he’s using mean words again.”

“That’s enough boys! You’re 38 and 45 now. Let’s have a peaceful Thanksgiving for a change. Suzette, what happened to that low-life boyfriend of yours, the one without a job and teeth?”

“Ma, he’s sitting right next to me.”

“Well, wake him up, would ya. It’s rude to sleep at the table. Join hands everybody. Papa Phil do the honors.”

We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing.”

42 comments:

  1. This was funny! Visiting from Jenny Matlock. I want to visit again when I have some time, this week is going to be a killer. :) xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. This could definitely be dialogue for a superior cult comedy show. "Turkey bastard" is great - a cross between turkey baster and turkey buzzard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think I may have been to a few gatherings like that!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You have changed your blog! Looks great! Love your edgy work here...as always. Hope you are well...Peace and blessings

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happy Thanksgiving, dysfunctional or not! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. heehee

    This is really funny.

    (And kinda sad, too, because I'm sure it happens...)

    Great job, Robyn, as usual! Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.

    =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh really he should have brought his teeth for this dinner, right?! This was just what I needed right now! Thanks so much from the bottom of my laughing self!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This could have been my grandpa years ago. Grandma was the one who fell asleep during rummy and still won! Happy Thanksgiving Robyn!~Ames

    ReplyDelete
  9. The cat would surely like the turkey passed to his little rhyming *** but us Canadians have been there done that..haha

    ReplyDelete
  10. haha. for some reason I can hear my mom saying stuff like that. yikes, the memories.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for visiting, Barbara.

    Alex, I'm glad you like it.

    GB, I never thought of writing a superior cult comedy show. Perhaps I will. Nah. But it's a unique idea. Thanks.

    Nonna, glad to make you laugh.

    MsA, sorry. Me too.

    Jeff, peace and blessings back to you.

    Anita, happy Thanksgiving back to you.

    Thanks Sue. Have a great Thanksgiving.

    Karen, he really should've splurged on false teeth for the occasion. So glad to create laughter.

    Carole, I appreciate it.

    Ames, lol. It's the sleepers who are the rummy winners.

    Pat, so I guess you and your cat are gearing up for the bigger holidays? Ugh.

    Dazee, sorry to make you shiver. Hope it's a happy T-day anyway.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  12. lol - cute! boys.. haha

    Praise the Lord!

    And the baster!

    ReplyDelete
  13. OMG! I want to hug you!! You are my kind of woman, Robyn! Hope you had some fun during your "time out." I am basting my turkey with pure chocolate in your honor!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. teeheee....I love this!!!!!!!! Robyn, I loved your PROFILE INFORMATION! Oh dear, I am so glad you came to visit me today via Gigi. She was TOO TOO KIND to post on little old me, a small HISPANIC woman from Los Angeles, FIESTY for sure, not single however, and like the 75% of the illiterate and literate world, I TOO want to be a writer. Famous? HECK YA! But I must think within reason. I'll take just publishing something ONCE!!!

    MERCI MILLE FOIS for your visit and kind words! ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS TO COME and my best and most wonderful friend is Jewish and I so enjoy the holidays she holds dear to her heart.....SHALOM! Anita

    ReplyDelete
  15. This was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! I needed it!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You've really captured a scene from a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving! I think GB said it best about your entertaining dialogue. On another note, thanks for being so thoughtful Robyn. Julie

    ReplyDelete
  17. This actually made me laugh so much, your family are pretty similar to mine in certain ways to be honest! It sounds like it was a fun Thanksgiving anyway, hope you guys enjoyed it!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well, you certainly turned that prompt on its head!

    ReplyDelete
  19. You musta been at my folks place when my bro' and I were both still welcome at the same time ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. IT, that's funny. I wasn't going to disclose that detail so I'm glad you did. PS Your mom's turkey was a bit dry too.

    Beth, that was my goal. Thanks.

    Yeamie, thanks. It's all about the food anyway. And Stove Top stuffing is pretty darn good.

    Julie, I appreciate your thoughtfulness too. Happy Thanksgiving.

    Thanks Ruth.

    Yvonne, I'm glad to provide, especially when my friends are most in need.

    Castles, it is wonderful to meet you. Thanks for your lovely, fun comment. I'll see you again soon.

    Judie, I love you bunches and I'm on my way for some of that chocolate, er turkey.

    Anthony, yes, praise the Lord and baster. LOL. Thank you, friend.

    Stephen, my pleasure.

    May you all experience gratitude this season.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL...thanks for that laughter. very creative. I love how the conversation flowed so nicely...in that amount of words. happy thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.

    ReplyDelete
  22. hmm sounds like dinner at my ex girlfriends families house...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Agree with babs! And now I can't get the song out of my head. Looooove! American Style. Doing in the red, white whatever the next lyric isssssss.

    ReplyDelete
  24. We don't have Thanksgiving in the UK but somehow I recognise that dinner table!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I so LOVE and have missed you!

    Happy Thanksgiving my friend!


    LYMI,

    J

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh--by the way-- I'm a Master Baster!

    wink wink!

    J

    ReplyDelete
  27. And to all you happy basters, a Happy Thanksgiving!

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am sure that there are families who gather in perfect harmony on Thanksgiving, but I imagine that since most families are disfunctional, there is way more truth to your post than we care to admit.

    Thanks for your clever comment on my post, Robyn! After I read it, I had to comment on your again!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hahahaha. Hilarious. I'm glad none of my Thanksgivings have ever been like this. :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Were you listening to Mama's Family??! haha...

    ReplyDelete
  31. I HATE it when those B*stards won't pass the turkey!
    Loved this. Great characters, in 100 words!
    BTW, I pimped you on my post this morning. Thanks for the "Dawn-isms."

    ReplyDelete
  32. Jerzey, LOL, good point. I think.

    John, loads of love right back atchya.

    I Wonder, great to see you here. You got it! I did channel Mama's Family when writing this. That was the exact humor I was striving for. I'm glad you picked up on it!

    Dawn, blogger boogers. Still no luck finding your current post. I'll try again.

    Love you all.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  33. lol funny, sounds like my family.
    At least it doesn't get boring at the table.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Very funny Robyn! Sounds like the Tilletts, back in the day...

    ReplyDelete
  35. You totally cracked me up with this!

    Just another Redneck Thanksgiving?

    ReplyDelete