Wednesday, November 9, 2011

On Why I Choose Celibacy Reason #144: Me and Mr. Fot


Meet Mr. Fot, my reason #144 for maintaining celibacy. Mr. Fot messaged me in response to my ad on Plentyoffish.com, in which I’m open about being short. In reaction, Mr. Fot was a rude ass. I bounced back with snark, and Mr. Fot seemed turned on. Our discourse follows. Enjoy.
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Mr. Fot's photo:

Mr. Fot’s first message: i am a trainer coach very fot...would love to chat. can im me here or nameoffruitandbunchofnumbers@sbcglobal.net and I can send a pic

Mr. Fot’s second message before hearing back: how short ru?

Me: how fot ru?

Mr Fot: fat? lol

Me:  Your ad says you're very "fot" so I thought I'd ask.

Mr. Fot:  i guess hot lol

Me: If  you're hot, not fot, why no shot (picture)?

Mr. Fot, through Instant Messaging: I am new separated........can email u a pic

Me: I’m only on-line briefly and hate instant messaging.

Mr. Fot: oh sory i was headed to the gym

Mr. Fot: When can we chat

Mr. Fot
: id love to see you get to know u

Mr. Fot: i could email u a pic

Me: That's okay. Good luck to you.

25 comments:

  1. Now you can change that one to SOL.

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  2. Fot was actually the nickname of a famous Australian cricketer. It stood for "flipping old tart" or words to that effect. I think Fot 2 should be shunned because of the ludicrous number of letters in his email address.

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  3. "If you're hot, not fot, why no shot?" sums up your entire relationship. Frankly, I think you threw this fish back way too soon. I'm sure you and the hot trainer coach could have lasted at least one more paragraph! Julie

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  4. Ugh, Mr Fot seems like an asshole to me. Another good reason to be celibate for sure.

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  5. I guess a lot of people doing the on-line dating thing have no idea how many potential mates they rule out due to SPELLING MISTAKES! On the other hand, I guess it’s a good thing they make these errors since they can thus be quickly eliminated by those who do care about proper spelling.
    (Hope I didn’t make a spelling mistake here...)

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  6. I hate that. He can attach a picture to pof and keep it hidden. Then send it that way. Ugh. Men. And you know by separated he means his wife is in the next room, right?

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  7. What the fot is he talking about?

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  8. Tell him unless he's a fot cat with loads of money, no dice.

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  9. Mr. Fot don't sound so hot.
    Especially if he's an "old fot."

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  10. Hahahaaa! You're my hero. Handled this PERFECTLY!!

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  11. Thanks, friends.
    I've said this before and I'm saying it again: I love you! Thanks for making me laugh.
    xoRobyn

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  12. Robyn I think you teased this poor guy until he couldn't bare it any more.

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  13. Bahahaha! This was hilarious! What a dork!

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  14. YOU are far more creative than the average girl, dear Robin! :) Thanks for another laugh!

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  15. Recently separated, huh? As in....left the house (and his wife) to go to the gym and pick up a cutie along the way. Uh uh. I'm onto Mr. Fot.

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  16. Oh now there's a real winner. Bleh...

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  17. To fot for me to handle...hehe! xo

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  18. WOW. WOW. WOW.
    I haven't finished reading this yet but OMG to find someone cellibate by choice these days is refreshing.
    I abstained for--drum roll please-- ten long years. And I didn't even plan it. My life was so full of activity and I simply had no time for frolicking and brain picking of the male species.

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  19. I think you handled that PERFECTLY. No sense wasting your precious time! W.C.C.

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  20. LMAO!! Mr. Fot sounds like he probably spends more time at the gym than doing anything intellectual like reading and he probably has scrape marks on his knuckles.

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  21. More laughter. Thanks, all!

    Jennifer, great to "meet" you. I appreciate your comment too.

    Be well, everyone but Mr. Fot.
    xoRobyn

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  22. That is so weird! My gender is losing ground...

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  23. What the hell? lol
    He should Fot off..

    ;)

    I guess he wasn't wearing the glass slipper..on his Fot.

    lol

    He's not the Fot for you.

    (ok, i'll stop now).

    Brilliant as always Robyn!
    xo

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