On Why I Choose Celibacy, Reasons #109-115: Dress Socks, Quotation Marks and Utter Weirdness

Taken directly from current on-line dating ads, my reasons for celibacy continue to 115. The ads are bolded and my comments, italicized. I hope you enjoy because somebody’s got to.

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REASON #109: Hmmm.... I wear a lot of black. A LOT. But not because I'm weird, it's just my favorite color and it just so happens to go with everything. Ain’t that a coincidence so remarkable it’s an amazing way to start your ad!? I also wear dress socks, no matter what. Weird? Maybe. Fun? Yes. Weird? Yes. A LOT. Fun? Dress socks? Not my idea of a good time but go wild (by yourself)! Knock those socks off!

REASON #110: I'm seeking a female that is comfortable in her own skin...someone that has experienced life, enjoyed the good times and learned from the not so good times...someone that earns her own keep and isn't looking for a relationship to pay her obligations...someone that is trusting and appreciative...I guess I'm seeking a genuine, honest perwson. Um, I haven’t seen one of those around. Did you try Walmart?  

REASON #111:  I am a BANANA!!! That’s your headline? Alright, you fed me the line, so let’s see you split.

REASON #112: I am somewhat of an artist, in that I make custome furniture,rustic and western style, and I also remodel homes. It keeps me busy, and trav3elling. It also makes it difficult to form a good relationship. You'll have to be patient, but trust me, it will be worth it.Some might see me as arrogant or "coc ky". Which syllable gets the emphasis in “coc ky”?Note: that’s a rhetorical “quest shun”!  I prefer to describe myself as "exuding confidence". I prefer to call you “coc ky”! But then it's my opinion that often, we support or highlight the good in us, I don't think we would get very far by broadcasting our downfalls all we can do, is hope they are tollerable, You charge a toll for your downfalls? You must be one rich coc ky “bas tard” with emphasis on the second syllable.

REASON #113: Here, because I'm not all there :) You’re not all here either, darlin’.

REASON #114: I am a full time father 50% of the time. You weren’t a statistics major, were you?... I am very open minded, do not like conflict, drama or superficiality. I am not into status simbles. Like the kind Moroccan belly dancers use? I like simple things and quality time. I suppose I can scale down to a basic tambourine like Tracy on the Partridge family. I am very family oriented. I would like to meet someone who too is laid back, sincere, open minded, and funny. I am not on a "mission" to get "re-married" right away.

REASON #115: I know at my age and those I meet at or near my age, there will be some drama. But I do not want "drama". Tell me, how exactly does drama differ from “drama”? And why did #114 put quotation marks around “mission” and “re-married”? Were you in the same English “class”?