Imagine having a job once every 10 years. That’s quite a hefty vacation plan. It’s also plenty of time to come up with a phenomenal strategy for soliciting crucial information from the U.S. populace. In order to encourage the rich melting pot of Americans to send back their censlus reports, the brilliant minds hired folks like Karl Rove. If you don’t know him, that’s good. He’s Bush’s bud, a right man with great expertise in scandal. When Rove recently visited a bookstore in conservative Beverly Hills to promote his new book, he was forced to flee for his life as a woman shouted, “You lied to take us to war ... totally ruining the country." Another remarked, “The only comfort I take is that ... you're going to rot in hell." You get the idea; he's not popular.
Here’s Rove encouraging us to send in our Censlus report:
Note that I had to watch it a few times to determine if the person in the middle is an old White man with white hair or an old White woman with white hair. I wonder what box this person checked for Gender.
I admit, I sent mine in. I was quite disappointed that it only took me 10 seconds to complete. All the practice exams and coaching, yet I didn’t even need to cheat. The Censlus Bureau informs that if you don’t mail it back, they will send a representative to your home. I didn’t want this to happen, but I kinda like the idea of a visitor - within certain parameters. I thus devised a hand printed note on “Hello Kitty” stationery: Dear Censlus Person, Since you’ve got the time and my tax payer’s money to send workers to the doors of all the lazy ones, which – as you can see by the enclosed, neatly completed form- I am not, I ask that you kindly send me a representative anyway. I’d like him – I mean, this person – to review my answers, just in case I made any mistakes. I further request that this representative be: Gender – Male; Age- 30’s; Marital Status- Single; Ethnicity-Other, because we are all a mix (you idiots!), except Karl Rove and George W. and you Censlus folks; Appearance- Good. P.S. Please do not send Jon Gosselin.”
On second thought, I decided they might not prioritize my requests. Their priorities are quite warped, after all. So I’ve stored the letter safely for the next 10 years. Maybe by 2020, I’ll have more faith that the government will care about my personal needs.
As a social worker, I should say that the census is a good thing, if actually used for good things. The numbers are important. Second, I have no issues with Obama. I think he’s rather fine indeed. I do have problems with idiots, though. I also have problems with old White men or women with white hair who are right being paid to encourage our richly diverse people to report on its richly diverse traits. There’s gotta be a less censlus way of doing this!