Sunday, April 11, 2010

The US Censlus Bureau



Imagine having a job once every 10 years. That’s quite a hefty vacation plan. It’s also plenty of time to come up with a phenomenal strategy for soliciting crucial information from the U.S. populace. In order to encourage the rich melting pot of Americans to send back their censlus reports, the brilliant minds hired folks like Karl Rove. If you don’t know him, that’s good. He’s Bush’s bud, a right man with great expertise in scandal. When Rove recently visited a bookstore in conservative Beverly Hills to promote his new book, he was forced to flee for his life as a woman shouted, “You lied to take us to war ... totally ruining the country." Another remarked, “The only comfort I take is that ... you're going to rot in hell." You get the idea; he's not popular.

Here’s Rove encouraging us to send in our Censlus report:
http://www.freedomslighthouse.com/2010/04/karl-rove-does-ad-for-us-census-bureau.html

Note that I had to watch it a few times to determine if the person in the middle is an old White man with white hair or an old White woman with white hair. I wonder what box this person checked for Gender.

I admit, I sent mine in. I was quite disappointed that it only took me 10 seconds to complete. All the practice exams and coaching, yet I didn’t even need to cheat. The Censlus Bureau informs that if you don’t mail it back, they will send a representative to your home. I didn’t want this to happen, but I kinda like the idea of a visitor - within certain parameters. I thus devised a hand printed note on “Hello Kitty” stationery: Dear Censlus Person, Since you’ve got the time and my tax payer’s money to send workers to the doors of all the lazy ones, which – as you can see by the enclosed, neatly completed form- I am not, I ask that you kindly send me a representative anyway. I’d like him – I mean, this person – to review my answers, just in case I made any mistakes. I further request that this representative be: Gender – Male; Age- 30’s; Marital Status- Single; Ethnicity-Other, because we are all a mix (you idiots!), except Karl Rove and George W. and you Censlus folks; Appearance- Good. P.S. Please do not send Jon Gosselin.”

On second thought, I decided they might not prioritize my requests. Their priorities are quite warped, after all. So I’ve stored the letter safely for the next 10 years. Maybe by 2020, I’ll have more faith that the government will care about my personal needs.

As a social worker, I should say that the census is a good thing, if actually used for good things. The numbers are important. Second, I have no issues with Obama. I think he’s rather fine indeed. I do have problems with idiots, though. I also have problems with old White men or women with white hair who are right being paid to encourage our richly diverse people to report on its richly diverse traits. There’s gotta be a less censlus way of doing this!

28 comments:

  1. I sent mine in... hope I passed! I think I got the majority of the questions correct.

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  2. I have not been able to read much the past several days. I see that I have some catching up to do here!!!LOL

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  3. Tell them more than they want to know. Confess everything. They'll either love you or fear you, both of which are good.

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  4. Aww, poor Jon Gosselin! Denied! Being a good citizen, I sent mine in too. But after reading your post, I'm thinking I should have had a little more fun with it. Next time for sure!

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  5. I'll still read you no matter what you write!

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  6. With my luck, a woman would show up at my door if I failed to complete a census – despite an enclosed note stating my preference. But by 2020 I probably wouldn’t care... ;)

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  7. ooooooh a guy might come to my house...I have'nt had that happen in a while...I'm giddy and tingling....laughing....

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  8. Ms. A., I'd give you an A(x2) if I was grading your report.

    Pat, I always feel the same about your great blog.

    GB, I like your strategy.

    Tgoette, yeah, new experience for Jon. Since he can't read, though, he probably doesn't know about this. xo

    Thanks Ca88. You're always sweet and loyal. Keep celebrating your big birthday too!!

    Beth, that was my fear as well. So I sent it in very quickly.

    IS - me too. me neither. We're always in sync, sis. Just lemme know if they send twin men to your door.

    Chocolate kisses,
    Robyn

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  9. I see where the census folks are only sending the forms to street addresses. So the folks in rural areas who only have post office boxes will get a visitor.
    I have a good friend who RVs year round and doesn't have a physical address. I wonder what they'll do about his wife and him? I wonder where they'll decide that he lives if they do find him to count?
    Shit!!! I probably should have put him on my form.

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  10. I totally overlooked the potential in this door to door census thing! Dang! Another dating opportunity... missed...

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  11. i was tempted to tell the airport screener to get a handsome male to pat me down. maybe next time. good advice for next census.

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  12. I think we married folk love living it up through your adventures, Robyn. Seriously, it's quite exciting on these dates with you hee hee.

    PS Being unemployed I've been hit up so many times to work for the Census however, I earn more collecting unemployment, so um, I didn't bother :(

    PPS Thanks for your comments regarding my vacation. We leave here on Wednesday. I'm already depressed thinking about it. One sunny day after the next!

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  13. I don't know about anyone else, but that mahogany desk in the background of the Rove video (with the carefully placed books) is totally going to get me to send my census ballot in.

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  14. Thanks for leaving a comment. I am following you. I LOVE chocolate!!

    Lydia

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  15. I'm going to sit here and watch your numbers too! Did my census. I was all prepared to spill everything and was somewhat disappointed it was so easy!

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  16. IT, yep. It's truly a censlus process.

    Kristy, yes, the man of your dreams might well be a censlus worker! Gotta work every angle, girlfriend.

    Sarah, that is a great idea. If you don't mind, I'm going to use it myself next time I take flight. I've only been patted down by overweight women. (I mean at airport security, you all. Don't get any other weird ideas about me. Not that there's anything wrong with being patted down by big women; it's just not my thing.)

    Ally, my friend, I'm glad you happily married folks are gaining so much pleasure from my escapades. Someone needs to! Enjoy the last bit of Florida sun.

    CB, yep, that's where our tax dollars go: mahogany desks for Karl Rove and other white right men with white hair.

    Lydia, yay! I love to have new followers, especially followers who love chocolate. You people are the best. Thanks!

    BB, thanks so much for joining me in staring at the numbers..I'm inching my way there. Approximately every 10 hours or so, it moves up another digit. Would you kindly take over now? I've gotta pee. Thanks!

    Chocolate kisses,
    Robyn

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  17. I have to say its not your pain I enjoy by your "dates" but the entertainment you bring the your blog by sharing them with us. Keep up the great work and unfortunate hell you have to go through for us.

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  18. "Censlus" I love it!!!! Ok, I'm gonna add to your follower's list by one. Make sure you keep that in mind on your next "censlus" form where you're asked how many sheeples you know.

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  19. Woohoo, thanks Marlene for joining the censlus! You certainly do count, and I won't forget it. I'm enjoying your blog too.

    Thanks for your sweet words, Jerry. Looking forward to reading your next 500!

    xoRobyn

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  20. Hahaha you're so funny and positive Robyn! Who knows what kind of hottie the census people would have sent to your door! You might have missed out on the love of your life!!;) I don't know who that Rove guy is, but he doesn't look popular and rightly so..!

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  21. As for me, I am into this blog for the long haul. Yours is one of my favorites now. It would take a lot to get rid of me now. Maybe start following Sarah Palin and posting her tea party pictures. Yeah, that would probably do it.

    Anyway, as for the census, I'm all for it. It is the one test I can pass every ten years.

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  22. Robyn, I'm part of the census of your blog anyway and glad to be here. Thanks for your support lately.
    Tina xx

    The Clean White Page

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  23. Thanks for your comment, it's always nice coming across other Robyns who can spell their name correctly. :)

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  24. If they want people to fill it out, they should do what ballparks do to bring people in and have a "give-away."

    I'm sure they'd get a lot more returns if everyone got a "Karl Rove Bobblehead" with each completed report.

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  25. The last census in the Netherlands was conducted in 1971. Maybe we are missing out on something?

    Thank you for your kind words on my last blog post.

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  26. Great idea, Dr. Heckle. You should've been on the censlus marketing committee. Thanks for the follow. :)

    Robyn, if only the other Robin's would use spellcheck!

    Tina, love to you.

    Cheeseboy, thanks so much. Lovin' your blog too. I've stopped chasing Sarah P down for photos. She seems to always be, uh, indisposed.

    SarahWriter, it's not so bad that Canadian politics are much more boring. Ey?

    xoRobyn

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  27. DDG, of course, sweetie. Nah, the Netherlands has it right. If we would only take a lesson from much wiser countries. Plus, you have great chocolate. xo

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  28. Wow, I am soooo behind on my reading! lol

    It's the people who were saying that the government is going to use that information to come after you!

    By the way? As a little letter to Karl Rove....

    Dear Mr. Rove:

    Seriously? James Madison is your favorite founder? Seriously? Ridiculous....

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