Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Diddle Diddle Dumpling & Anger Management

 
Part I. Diddle Diddle Dumpling, for Stephen Hayes

It's taken me approximately one month per word to complete a challenge posed by Stephen Hayes in response to this Jack and Jill rhyme pairing. He suggested writing a modern day version of the poem, Diddle Diddle Dumpling. I have no excuses for the time lag. I can't even claim that the end result justifies the wait. Sorry, Stephen.

The original Mother Goose Rhyme: 
Diddle Diddle Dumpling, my son John
Went to bed with his stockings on
One shoe off, one shoe on
Diddle Diddle Dumpling my son John

My version:  
Twittering and sexting, Don Juan John
Romps in beds with no condom on
He gets off, she gets spawn
Now two dozen kids cry for Papa John.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part II. Anger Management

I dedicate this rhyme, which I wrote in 1978 (age 12), to Kanye West, Mel Gibson, Reese Witherspoon, Alec Baldwin, Amanda Bynes, and all other celebrity hot-heads. [Who else? I'm sure to be missing loads of names.] 

I'd be angry too if I had no ears, my hair resembled a wilting Chia pet and my feet, white bricks. But I was only 12. [My current cartooning's worse.] Since this rhyme is hard to read, I'll type it here: 
KEEP YOUR COOL!
When you're down and feeling low,
Don't let hatred let you go,
Despite the angers you may get,
Always Remember, "Forgive and Forget!"

34 comments:

  1. Great poem!!! You were already amazingly talented at 12. Wow. :)

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  2. Fantastic poems Robyn! The first one was hysterical! Although I'm even more impressed that you composed such a timeless poem at 12!

    Julie

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  3. The poem is funny! I say worth the wait.
    And I could give you a whole list of sports celebrities to include.

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  4. You trump Mother Goose. Both your poems have a message and a good one at that.

    The cartoon is cute!

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  5. You deserve credit for yours Robyn, really made me laugh and I love the Twitter reference which is keeping it nice and modern haha.

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  6. Your twitter poem is brilliant and hysterical!!!

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  7. Hahahahaha..... I like your diddle much better.

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  8. Haha...love the cartoon! It looks like an alien, which makes sense since the adolescent years were coming up. And those are the 'alien' years, after all! :)

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  9. Hahaha...I love both your poems.

    Love the copy of the poem you wrote at 12. Very cute!!

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  10. Both poems are stellar. It was the "diddle" that made you think of Don Juan, wasn't it?

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  11. Think most every celebrity can use the second one.

    Roaring and snoring, old fart John
    Goes to bed with no clothes on
    Clothes are off, clap is on
    Beware the ride of old fart John

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  12. Thanks, all. You're too kind.

    Alex, I don't know sports, but I'm sure you'd have an extensive list for me. Thanks.

    David, thank you. Glad you liked 'em.

    YW, Just Keeping it Real, JoJo, I really appreciate the compliments.

    MyJourney, the original Diddle is so strange. It's pretty easy to beat.

    Plowing, he does look like an alien, a non-threatening one. Smiles.

    Debra, it was a combination of the diddle and sexting.

    Thanks, Cheryl.

    Pat, yours trumps mine. I like it. Nice addition.

    xoRobyn

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  13. Your first poem was well worth the wait, Robyn!

    I hope your second poem goes viral. Maybe you need to post it on twitter or something? To many celebs are having meltdowns about one thing or another these days. You could help them greatly.

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  14. Thanks for the revised version of Diddle Diddle Dumpling. It was worth the wait. Take care.

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  15. Robyn, one of the things I truly love about you is that you actually say what some of us--I won't deal in the truly pure of heart here--think.

    Love your poetic ability!!! :)

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  16. I love the way you turned 'angers' into a plural noun. It makes me want to recite the poem in a French accent.

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  17. this was wonderful!! So funny!! I hope you can stop by my blog today, it is kind of special to me. bleachervison.blogspot.com

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  18. Hey Robyn,

    Well done! I've heard all about the Jack and Jill "pairing". Anyway ahem...

    I like your Mother Goosed, sorry, Mother Goose version, way better.

    "Anger Management"? I was going to go on an anger management course. However, I thought, why would I want to anger management. I could end up getting fired!

    Your starstruck fan
    Stuck in a can

    Gary :) x

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  19. I like your version of Mother Goose much better.
    Very clever x

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  20. I'd never even heard of Diddle Diddle Dumpling, but I love your version.

    Also, you wrote better poems at 12 than I do at almost 30. Don't forget to dedicate that one to Justin Bieber, btw. He's become of a bit of a bratty, hot-headed snot too.

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  21. I'm thinking of some other nursery rhymes and what you might do with them. Mind-boggling.

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  22. Mother Goose should thank her lucky stars she didn't have to rhyme about today's people! I'm pretty sure they would all sound like your revised version! (Which was hilarious, by the way!)

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  23. haha hilarious limerick Robyn! So clever!

    Your 12 year old self was obviously onto a good thing. Nice that you have access to your childhood creations.

    ps how about that dick, Christian Bale... what a rant that was!

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  24. Wait. I don't get it. In your version of Diddle Diddle Dumpling, those 24 kids want pizza?
    Wouldn't Dominos do the trick just as well?

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  25. Well, Al, Dominos and Diddle Diddle are both quick to get things heated in the oven. Diddle's faster, though.

    BnB, true. Justin Bieber is a hotheaded arrogant punk.

    Thank you all for praising my "poetry."

    Be well.
    Keep a smile and a stash of chocolate.
    xoRobyn

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  26. HA! Your version of the first poem is an instant classic!
    You not only could write at twelve, you could draw as well...

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  27. I love your version of the Mother Goose rhyme!! Totally awesome. You were an incredibly smart and talented 12 year old!!

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