Friday, December 16, 2011

Deja Vu Blogfest! Rudolph's Special Problem

 Thanks to D L Hammons at Cruising Altitude here, for hosting this Deja Vu blogfest. In line with the task, I'm posting an old favorite. It's one I had a lot of fun with, and it's inappropriately appropriate to the season. 

Rudolph's Special Problem was my offering for Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus last December. The Centus challenge typically involves composing a piece within 100 words based on a prompt, and I've bolded the prompt below. 

Thanks for visiting, hop around, happy Friday, and may you experience deja vu in the warmest of ways this holiday season!

~apologies here - Blogfest image didn't take.~ (deja vu!)
 

Rudolph's Special Problem

Times are tough. Rudolph's lost his charge. The poor deer's tried everything: LED bulbs, performance enhancing pills, Emotional Freeing Techniques...to no avail.

Meanwhile, Santa patronizes Starbucks. Gulping a grande chai nog, he ponders Plan B. Do I pick the Tom Tom, Garmin, or Magellan? Shall I shop Best Buy, Costco, eBay or Amazon? Farklempt,* he skypes the elves for a consult.

Vixen and Prancer strut by, giggling about Rudolph's special problem.

Eyeing Santa's laptop, Vixen sneers, "What was he thinking? OMG! Elves are soooo 2009..."


"Totally," adds Prancer. "Hasn't he heard of outsourcing?"

Santa flashes the deers a gesture that's inappropriate for the season and this Centus.

***

*Farklempt= Yiddish. Utterly flustered and discouraged.


34 comments:

  1. My first laugh of the morning! Maybe Rudolph needs to find his inner self...

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  2. Chuckle! Thanks for the laugh!

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  3. Modern times – Rudolph should use the “colour flash” app on his cell phone, Santa can just give gift certificates and Vixen and Prancer laid off for the season…

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  4. This really gave me quite the laugh haha, I sure wish Rudolph wasn't bullied so much though!

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  5. haha poor Rudolph, great deja vu from you and a rhyme from me, oh the glee.

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  6. Ha haha, poor Rudolph. Who knew Vixen and Prancer were such jerks?

    Such a fun post, thanks for the chuckles! :)

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  7. Those other reindeer are a tough crowd. Rudolph just might need a nice female to get his charge back. How old is he now?

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  8. A Yiddisha Santa already! Hilarious... as usual.

    Happy Chanukah and may all your donuts be chocolate ones!!

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  9. Thanks Jennifer and Liza. I appreciate your visits.

    Alex, I'm honored. Yeah, Rudolph's gotta do some soul searching.

    Beth, that's good. Rudolph & Santa are sooo 2009.

    Yeamie, you're right. Rudolph does face a lot of mockery. Poor deer.

    PatHatt, thanks for that!

    Julie, I'm glad to make you chuckle.

    Stephen, I believe Rudolph is pushing 900 years old by now. Gotta give that ole deer credit for any bit of prancing he does.

    Rosalind, Happy Chanukah to you. Hope you enjoy lots of gelt with no guilt.

    xoRobyn

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  10. Rudolph just needs a life coach and a few Piloxing classes. Maybe a gluten free diet would make him glow again.

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  11. Santa needs to shop online and have things delivered... give Rudolph a break!

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  12. Hope Rudolph gets his act together in time! An excellent choice for Deja Vu and the holidays! Happy Chanukah Robyn! Julie

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  13. That was pretty funny. The funniest holiday post I've read this month.

    Thanks so much for joining the Blogfest!

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  14. Oh my! hehe! Thanks for the laugh.

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  15. Lol. Poor Rudolph. He just needs some lovin.

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  16. Awesome! You say so little and yet so much. :)

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  17. Haha! So funny and clever. Well done!

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  18. Love it! Time for the self-help books for poor Rudy.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse gearing up for the upcoming 2012 A to Z Challenge!

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  19. Here here for the inappropriate!

    Didn't Santa just retire the reindeers? I heard he replaced them with a new App instead...

    Goddamn you Apple!!

    ;)

    x

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  20. HAHA - Love it! Thanks for sharing! And so nice to meet you through the blogfest!

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  21. Aw...I want to see Santa's inappropriate gesture!
    You are soooo creative. Love it!!

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  22. Merry Christmas! (talk about inappropriate) Are you coming down for the holiday?

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  23. LOL!! I think Rudolph needs to turn to drinking. I've heard that it can turn your nose red in high enough quantities!

    Very cute...and an excellent addition to the blogfest! :)

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  24. LOVE IT!!! Bulbous nonfunctionis!! Sorry to Hear Santa shot his Rudolph--ar ar,

    LYMI Robyn,

    J

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  25. Thanks, all. I remember sitting in a coffee shop to write this one. I was giggling out loud. People were snapping their heads to peer at me. I almost offered them a gesture inappropriate to the season.

    Happy holidays!
    xoRobyn

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  26. I remember this one...made me laugh on those dark days of yore. Thanks for pointing me to the centus resort, having so much fun ever since and writing seriously again.

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  27. Hmm, I don't remember this one. It must have been a very special problem if the Emotional Freedom Technique didn't work!

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  28. haha! good one!

    you never fail to make me laugh.


    love ya, robyn!!

    xoxo

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  29. Haha, very funny. Laughing from 'performance enhancers' on. Definitely worth a repost. :)

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  30. That was so darn funny! I needed it!

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