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Saturday, September 24, 2011

My Typical Date, Grand Finale, a Saturday Centus

Welcome to my Saturday Centus, a fun and unpredictable weekly writing challenge hosted by Jenny Matlock, extraordinaire. This time, we're afforded 150 words for a dialogue-only piece. I've continued My Typical Date post from two weeks back. The prompt is bolded below. I hope you enjoy, join our class if you haven't already, and visit Jenny Matlock's blog here to read the other offerings. Happy Saturday and weekend.  

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My Typical Date,Grand Finale

“Momma, Momma, may I?”

“What? You’d even consider leaving me? A painful 23 hour labor and this is the thanks I get! Your father, may he rest in peace that bastard, is rolling in his grave right now.”

“Um, Robyn, she’s upset. Why don’t we take her along? She doesn’t have to sleep with us. We can get her a cot. And (whispering) I’ll let you ride shotgun.”

“You’d make me sleep in a cot? I told you that wretched tramp was no good for you! Dear God, what did I do to deserve this?”

“Don’t call her wretched, momma!”

“That’s it! I’ve been patient long enough with your sick and twisted relationship! I’d show you shotgun if I had one! Just watch me wretchedly tramp on out of here!”

“Phew. Mazel Tov! Oh, waiter, waiter. Bring another! We’re celebrating!”

“Momma, are you seriously ordering another martini?”

Posted by Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com
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37 comments:

  1. Alex J. CavanaughSeptember 24, 2011 at 9:57 AM

    You have too much fun with these!

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  2. TgoetteSeptember 24, 2011 at 10:10 AM

    LOL! So hilarious! It feels so real like this was a true experience! Great job, bubbala!

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  3. Ms. ASeptember 24, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    Mama's boys are better off with mama!

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  4. laughingwolfSeptember 24, 2011 at 10:51 AM

    lol... make that a bourbon martini ;)

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  5. VikiSeptember 24, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    I think the son needs another drink to tell momma something like back off LOL. Cute take on this prompt.

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  6. UnknownSeptember 24, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    Oh Robyn, you are so funny!
    It feels so real, even though I know it must me made up.
    Great centus and a half(=150 words)!
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    Anna's SC wk 73'Lunch with B&V'

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  7. JudieSeptember 24, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    I wonder if they make chocolate flavored martinis. Robyn, you nut! This is way too funny!!!!!

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  8. Gorilla BananasSeptember 24, 2011 at 1:00 PM

    Wait...is this a girl-girl date here? I'd like to see an opinion from a rabbi before commenting on this one. All things considered Momma was pretty broad-minded.

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  9. MarleneSeptember 24, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    *snicker* I'd have bopped "momma" on the head with my handbag....making sure it was loaded with bricks, first. Sonny-boy would have gotten it next. :)

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  10. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comSeptember 24, 2011 at 1:52 PM

    Alex, of that I'm guilty. Thanks.

    Tgo, always happy to make you laugh.

    MsA, that's true.

    Laughingwolf, good to see you again. Thank you.

    Viki, I think he's too wimpy. Thanks.

    Anna, glad you enjoyed it.

    Judie, I'm pretty sure they do. I'm not much of a drinker, except when it comes to chocolate chai frost freezes sans booze. =o)

    GB, it's a sequel to the last. It should've been a boy-girl date but momma was always around. Except the most conservative rabbis, they're open-minded regarding sexual orientation - as is the Jewish people, generally.

    Marlene, I like your stategies. I should call you for consultation in such situations.

    xoRobyn

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  11. Kim LehnhoffSeptember 24, 2011 at 3:57 PM

    Really, this was one relationship that had no future at all...I hope mama and her boy are happy together.

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  12. DuckySeptember 24, 2011 at 6:06 PM

    You make me giggle snort! I sure hope you're writing a book. That would make the perfect first page!

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  13. MeriSeptember 24, 2011 at 7:58 PM

    haha- fun exercise! I should do more writitng like this!

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  14. AmesSeptember 24, 2011 at 8:51 PM

    Oy!

    You're better off with a Chocolate Martini!~Ames

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  15. DeborahSeptember 25, 2011 at 1:22 AM

    LOL ... that's one momma!

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  16. Rosalind AdamSeptember 25, 2011 at 5:14 AM

    That was really funny. I so know mums like that! There’s a brand new award waiting for you on my blog. It’s a ‘thank you’ type of award :-)

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  17. cj SchlottmanSeptember 25, 2011 at 7:13 AM

    You've brought us along in this story so smoothly, and I really admire your way with dialogue! This funny post feels very REAL, could see it all!

    Namaste.........cj

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  18. Reka SangSeptember 25, 2011 at 7:20 AM

    Hilariously good...and here I thought the first part could not be upstaged. You really aught to come up with a humorous chick lit on dating fiascos. I would save my pennies(cents) right away to buy. :)

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  19. Not So Simply SingleSeptember 25, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    LMAO...

    Robyn, you are too damn funny girl. Where do you come up with this stuff!

    Love ya,

    Your sister in Paradise...

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  20. KatSeptember 25, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    Good grief! This felt very, very real. And very, very scary lol. Great use of the prompt, this was a scream. Kat

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  21. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comSeptember 25, 2011 at 1:30 PM

    Thanks, all. I'm always honored to have made you laugh.
    xoRobyn

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  22. Jemi FraserSeptember 25, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    So fun! Love the title of your blog too - so glad to meet you! :)

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  23. Dazee DreamerSeptember 25, 2011 at 2:44 PM

    methinks you have a favorite martini? that was great.

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  24. SueSeptember 25, 2011 at 4:17 PM

    oh Robyn, this is soooooo good. I want to download some time so I can join in with the fun!

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  25. CopyboySeptember 25, 2011 at 8:38 PM

    That's some finale, Martini and all. BTW...made you blog of the day.

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  26. Full-On-ForwardSeptember 25, 2011 at 11:04 PM

    Haa Haaaaaaa!!

    A Cot????


    LOVE YA MEAN IT!!!!!!

    John

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  27. nadeemalimSeptember 25, 2011 at 11:34 PM

    Hi Robyn. Read a couple of your posts and I respect your honest opinions. It is strange how I learn a lot about being a man from you, you being the woman and me being the man. :-P

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  28. themajesstySeptember 26, 2011 at 4:30 AM

    LOL!

    Hilarious.

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  29. Betty ManousosSeptember 26, 2011 at 6:17 AM

    lol!! that's one momma!!

    aww, you're so awesome, robyn!

    your stories are always a delight to read.

    so hilarious!

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  30. Bossy BettySeptember 26, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    Great one, Robyn.]

    Trying to get back into blog-reading. Thanks for all your comments on my blog lately.

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  31. Laila KnightSeptember 26, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    OMG, stay clear of Mama's boys. This was actually scary. :)

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  32. Rawknrobyn.blogspot.comSeptember 26, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    Betty, thank you and you are welcome. Take care of you.

    Sue, I really encourage you to join in. It's great, fun exercise for the brain.

    Nadeem, I love my male followers. You're all such great sports!

    Rek and Daffy, thanks so much. It means a lot. (psst, I'm kicking my butt to start one. I'll keep you posted.)

    Thanks everyone! Have a nice week.
    xoRobyn

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  33. Dawn@Lighten Up!September 26, 2011 at 2:07 PM

    Fabulous!!!! You are so creative. I bow to you.

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  34. Bargain Decorating with LaurieSeptember 26, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    Oh, that is fun eee! Great job! laurie

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  35. Anthony J. LangfordSeptember 27, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    haha - What the hell?
    Crazy, but in a good way.

    Love it.
    =]

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  36. JennyOctober 8, 2011 at 3:41 PM

    Bravo!

    This is absolutely brilliant!

    Your dialogue is perfect.

    Your writing, as always, is awe inspiring.

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  37. Baby SisterOctober 23, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    Wow. Now that is sad!! He's one of those guys that will be living with their moms for the rest of their lives...

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