K is for Krusty the Clown, aka Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski!

I dedicate this month-long challenge to children, with nephew Jeremy topping my list. Much thanks to the animated or more serious characters who agreed (or not) to conduct interviews this month. Sure, I had to promise them 80% of my profits, but a few are altruistic to the core. At least, that sounds good. Right? My point: Have fun reading this or doing something else. Give a child a hug today too.

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Robyn: Folks, please welcome Mr. Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski, otherwise known as Krusty the Clown.

Krusty saunters in, smoking a cigarette and winking at the audience. Hey, hey kids! He dips his left hand  onto his coat pocket and pulls out a kippah[1].  Do you have some bobbi pins?

Robyn: Sure. She reaches into her bra and pulls out three bobbi pins and a piece of Bazooka ABC[2] gum.

Krusty grabs the items with his free hand. He presses the gum onto the top of his head-- Extra security, he grimaces --  and fastens the kippah to his three longest hairs.

Robyn: You're smoking!

Krusty: No kiddin.' I heard you're Jewish and desperate and all. I promised dad I'd look my best for this one.

Robyn: No, I mean, you're smoking. There's no smoking at Life by Chocolate. I need you to put that cigarette out.

Krusty: That's not good. He crushes the cigarette on his pants, then tosses it over his left shoulder.

Robyn: Thanks. Tell us Krusty, how are things with your dad, Rabbi Hyman?

Krusty: After our 25 year shabbatical, the Hyman's come around. Lisa and Bart eased him back in. They're a little young, but very precocious. Yeah, now Papa Hyman's fine with me clowning around and not going to yeshiva. Wanna go out?  He said I should ask. I'll give you forty bucks.


Robyn: Well, no. I read you've been married 15 times, and Sophie's your love child with Mia Farrow. That's a tad wrong.

Krusty, sighing: She's a good girl, that Sophie.

Robyn: I'm afraid they're signaling me to wrap up. You might shorten your birth name, Mr. Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski, before the next interview. Thanks for joining us, Krusty!

We have Matt Groening (creator of The Simpsons) to thank for Krusty the Clown. Krusty premiered on the Tracy Ullman show in 1989, along with other Simpson characters. He continues as a high and low light of the show, now in its 22nd season.

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[1] Kippah = Beanie worn by Jewish men and sometimes women. Even less frequently, by clowns.

[2] ABC = juvenile term from back in the day for "already been chewed" (i.e., gross.).