Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving Love (A Repost)

Introduction: The following excerpt was relayed by the fly on the wall. Note that this is the same courageous yet depleted fly that zips from wall to wall whenever he hears someone exclaim, “I’d like to be a fly on that wall.” According to the fly, this brief segment typifies Thanksgiving meal conversations overheard from wall to wall throughout the country.

Junior: Put some turkey on my plate, you bastard.


Stevie: Are you calling me a turkey?


Junior: No, I’m calling you a bastard.


Stevie: Okay. White or dark meat?


Mama Dolores: That’s enough boys. You’re grown men now. Quit the squabbling. Herb, stuff it! Stuff that turkey. It’s too dry, and you haven’t done a damn thing all day to help get dinner ready. Like father, like son. Junior, I remember when your cousin Mike made a pass at Auntie Mabel one fine Easter Sunday. You stood there and didn’t say anything to protect her.


Junior: Ma, I was only 6 years old, and that was 35 years ago. Would you let it go, already!


Mama Dolores: Yes, 6, and a well spoken child, slender and fit, I might add. You just stood there like a bump on a log. Where did I go wrong? It’s no wonder you can’t keep a good woman.


Papa Joe: Dolores, it would be nice if you took the cranberries out of the can and put them in a bowl for a change.


Mama Dolores: Excuse me?! You come strolling in here only 3 hours ago, turn on the boob tube, and tell me I need to do more work to appease your snooty patoody tastes. I’ll tell you where you can put the damn cranberries! Sally, when is that loser of a husband of yours going to get here?


Sally: Ma, he’s sitting right next to me.


Mama Dolores: Oh, well in that case, have him pass the rolls. Wake him up first, would ya, it’s rude to sleep at the table. Let us all now join in prayer. Thank you, Lord, for this blessed meal with our loved ones.

Now for some real love (a non-repost):
Truth is, of course, I am grateful for lots. I'm not talking about parking lots. They drive me nuts. I'm one of those bumbling, purse clutching  shoppers who can never find my car. But I digress. I am grateful for much, including YOU. I'm touched by the great friendships, support, guidance, and mentorship I've received from this wonderful world of Blog. Thank you.

I wish you all an untypically peaceful and loving holiday season! xo

30 comments:

  1. Awesome story.

    And I would give my right nut for a peaceful thanksgiving, but that won't happen.

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  2. Would this be ...say...a fly on your family's wall?? :o You crack me up. Ok, I'm done putzin and now it's time to make the pumpkin pies. Oh, and by the way... if you run out of canned milk and use melted icecream in the pumpkin pies...don't tell the grandkids. Well, that's if you had grandkids. Oops, that sounded like a nagging mother didn't it?
    Have great Thanksgiving Robyn! :D ~Ames

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  3. Happy Thanksgiving to you! Have a good one! - G

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  4. Have a good one, Robyn. May you and Mama Dolores find both find men who'll stuff your turkeys.

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  5. "He's sitting right next to me" lol. Happy Thanksgiving Robyn!

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  6. That was so funny!
    Have a nice Thanksgiving Robyn...

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  7. love you so much, blogsista!!!!!


    sending chocolate thoughts with chocolate centers...

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  8. LOL!! You are such a treat!!!

    I really do hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

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  9. Same to you! And isn't the blog world something to be thankful for?

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  10. OT, sorry, but I'm glad you're not undergoing any painful procedure on your man parts. xo

    Ames, melted ice-cream in the pumpkin pie sounds delicious. Good thing I don't have grandkids to share that with. ;0)

    Georgina, you too. Stay warm! xo

    GB, thanks. You always make me smile. <-:

    TS, you too. Thanks. xo

    Pat, a wonderful turkey time to you and yours. ;0)

    TIS, back to you, sister. Only, with olive thoughts and centers. I hope you don't mind if I keep the chocolate, because, well, I already ate it. xo

    Marlene, thanks sweet friend. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. (0:

    Jason, it really is. I never would've imagined it would mean so much. Have a blessed holiday. xo

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  11. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. :)

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  12. Hahha - you are a nut..
    Love it!
    very creative Robyn! love yr sense of humour girl!
    xo

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  13. Happy Thanksgiving Robyn, ya nut

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  14. Have a blessed & wonderful holiday! Thank you for the smiles & support!

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  15. That mama D has quite the wit. I like that she had no clue or cared where hubbie was. haha. Happy Turkey Day.

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  16. Blessings and yummy pumpkin pie, to all!
    xoRobyn

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  17. haha I got a good laugh out of this one :) It's always like that with holidays, it can be such a frenzied period!
    happy thanksgiving!

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  18. This really made me laugh. My favorite part was when the crazy mama didn't realize the son-in-law was at the table already and then asked him to pass the rolls! BTW, I thought your anniversary wish where you said "your lucky husband" was really nice. Thank you! I'm thankful for you, too!

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  19. Happy Thanksgiving Robyn!!!

    Big Hugs!

    John Boy

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  20. And hopefully you will have a lovely Thanksgiving too!

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  21. What a wonderfully funny Thanksgiving post!

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  22. Hope your Thanksgiving was great, Robyn!

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  23. funny transcript of thanksgiving dinner! my family has similar squabbles and trivial arguments. makes for an interesting occasion every year!

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  24. Ivana, thanks. Yes, I think it's best to just admit that it's a stressful time of year. Thanks for coming by. xo

    Thanks Kelley. LOL. ;0)

    Das, "interesting" is a really good word to use. It's so neutral. Thanks for coming by.

    I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and/or Thursday (for those who don't celebrate). I had a wonderful one with a friend's family that adopted me for the holidays. I'm very grateful for them and their pumpkin and walnut pies. xo

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  25. Very funny dialogue Robyn .. Mama Dolores sounds scary, though more for the fact that she seems terrifyingly familiar to a lot of people!

    Thanks to you, Robyn, and all your lovely posts and photographs

    Hope you're well
    Val

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  26. Reminds me of the "Thanksgiving At My House" song by Pat Godwin of WMMR/Philly fame....

    Gobble, gobble, chat, chat,
    Mom looks tired, Grandma's fat.
    Gobble, gobble, drink, drink,
    Uncle Jim heaves in the kitchen sink.
    Thanksgiving at my house,
    everybody's got babies me, yeah.
    Thanksgiving at my house,
    is this the way it was meant to be?

    ... and so on...

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  27. Seriously...where do you come up with this stuff? Love it!

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