Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Top 10 Reasons Why I'm Glad I'm Not a Parent














Jeremy (right, planning his escape) and
Auntie Robyn (left, she won't let go)

1) Sleep. It's my preference.

2) Privacy while bathing. See above.

3) Diapers. “Oops, I didn’t notice he needed a change"
(said while indiscreetly holding the nostrils).

4) Chocolate. It hasn't been touched or nibbled at when I need it.

5) Childproof containers. "Is there a toddler in the house to help me open this?"

6) Child carseats: The most complex invention known to man, woman, vegetable or mineral.

7) The rides at Camp Snoopy. They scare me.

8) I have limited material when instructed: “Preten you’re a bad pirate.”

9) Being an Auntie really is the best.

10) **Fill in the blank with reason #10.**

Thanks! xo

26 comments:

  1. Being a parent is not that hard. I mean if I can do it, anyone can.

    And I did not know you are a redhead.

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  2. OT, have you seen the rides at Camp Snoopy? They're pretty darn scary.
    Regarding my red hair, yes. But it's not au natural. Sshh.
    Have a good day! xo

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  3. Having taken part in 5 upbringings. It can be a tough road. We found that the more kids you have the easier it gets. That's because you are more relaxed about it and not scared anymore.

    The first kid is so precious! You coo and fawn all over it. When it's sleeping you wonder if it's still breathing and check on it all the time. By the time the fifth one comes around, it has to learn to change it's own diaper and heat up it's own food by 3 months of age.

    You take a million photos of the first one. But have to hunt to find old photos of the fifth one (other than the one from the hospital).

    The payoff? The fifth one is and has always been the most capable and self reliant of them all. It warmed my heart to have a 5 year old say "papa, I'm going to make a fried egg sandwich, do you want me to make you one too?" I'm not lying....she still asks me that same question, and she's now in her twenties...

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  4. Awww...what a priceless photo!!! Love it!

    #5 really rings a bell! Yesterday, it took me THREE WHOLE FREAKING MINUTES to get a freaking cap off my hubby's medication so I could fill his freaking pill box for him. (Just a nice thing I do...I have my moments.) Why must they dispense child proof caps to EVERYONE? Grrrr. (Thankfully this kind of "cap" is reversible, so you can put it on upside down and it's no longer child proof....or idiot proof, in my case.)

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  5. Pat and Marlene, you have me in stitches. I love it and you. Thanks. xo

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  6. 10) who drank all the damn milk again and put the carton back in the frig!!!!

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  7. You don't have to listen to threats about what they're going to do to you when they grow up.

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  8. #10 when they act up, or you get bored you can give them back!

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  9. # 10. Attending PTA Meetings whilst drunk is often frowned upon.

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  10. Reason #10 - Nothing inhibits MY sex life!

    Knew there was a reason I liked you, Robyn!

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  11. 10. Because I can only dress my kid up as a pirate for so long until they figure out they look weird :P

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  12. Hurrah for women choosing to stay childfree! Do you get as much hell about it as I do?

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  13. Allison, hell yeah. Well, not really. It's not so much a choice as an "I'm going to enjoy it since it's my situation. There's PLENTY to enjoy about it too!" Thanks for your support. Props to you too!! xo

    Hiphop, your kid must be a bit older than my nephew (3.5). He isn't quite there yet. Thaks for coming by. I love your #10. xo

    Alex, okay. Now, we're talking! I fully respect you. You've upped the ante. That's the kind of response I was looking for. Nothing inhibits my sex life either, but that's because I don't have one. If I had kids, though, I also wouldn't have one. Somehow, this makes me happy. xo

    Heff, I would imagine. Those PTA folks are a bit uptight. Aren't they? xo

    Noelle, me too. xo

    Baygirl, exactly. xo

    GB, do baby apes do that too? Geeze. xo

    SirT, sometimes big 'kids' do the same, but at least those cartons are not as likely infested with backwash. xo

    :0) Robyn

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  14. "Nothing inhibits my sex life either, but that's because I don't have one. If I had kids, though, I also wouldn't have one. Somehow, this makes me happy."

    Got 6 kids and well you find time, sometimes you need to be creative. The empty milk OMG the empty everything.Snack boxes,containers,milk.I like the old George Carlin bit about empty plates in the fridge "Did something eat something else?"

    Christopher

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  15. #10 - you can give them back ;)

    Don't let OT fool you. He's a fabulous dad. My ex, on the other hand...
    He hasn't killed our kids yet so I should be OK!

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  16. cs, for a minute (before I noticed the quotation marks), I thought I'd met my soulmate. LOL. Glad you've found time despite 6 (really?) kids. Wow. I enjoyed hearing from you. xo

    Miley, I have no doubts that OT's a fabulous dad. You can tell these things by how someone writes about their family. I'm sorry your ex falls way short. Hang tough. xo

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  17. I liked what Pat said. Having being single for a long time, and having enjoyed my twenties all to myself, I can say that there is joy in both sides.. though nothing beats a busy fun household.. depends on the situation of course.. but as long as you have the right attitude, then with or without kids can be rewarding..
    For me, I'm so glad I did.. as a new parent but a well worn step parent..i'm so glad i got to experience being in a child's life.. as i never thought it would happen to me.. and never really wanted it.. but once it happend, ive never looked back... (well i have, and it didnt look that great afterall).

    x

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  18. #10: No snot to clean up AND you can send them home at night to the parents. :D

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  19. Oh girl you are just to gosh darn funny. Someday though you just might have to eat your words and rock the cradle. Heeeehehehe!

    God bless ya and have an incredible day sweetie!!! :o)

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  20. BabySis, yes, I had buggars on the list but took it off. I guess I didn't even want to think about it. Feel better. xo

    Touche, Nezzy. Touche! Hugs across the miles. xo

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  21. Uh read today's post...or don't ...it would add about 5 more to your list...sigh.....


    love ya!!!

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  22. #10 You have given no hostages to fortune

    Sorry - that's a bit deep/negative... I read it somewhere *coughs*

    How about: 10# The money you save! (Also, the best thing you can do for the environment is to not have children!)

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  23. Love the cute picture!! He's my grandson's age so I know:)

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  24. I like deep, negative stuff, brokenb. I'm a realistic cynic myself. Thanks!xo

    Gayle, it's such a cute, silly age. I love the 3's. xo

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