You, my dear readers, added the most amusing additions to this post on men's stupidest excuses for not wearing condoms, that I was inspired to create the collage below. Thank you! I think. No really, thank you! You are fun!
Gentlemen and other males (including Gorilla Bananas), please do not try these at home, in your office, the jungle, or anywhere at all. Just put them on, guys.
~I had a bad experience with a balloon twister when I was young.
~It was very painful. I will have to blog about it. lol
~"Why don't we fill you up full of plastic instead? See how you like it!"
~You don't wear your socks when you take a bath do you?! HA!!!
~It's like taking a shower with a raincoat on!"
~Ever tried running with your shoes wrapped in plastic? Exactly! They don't fit.
~I have been snipped. ~I was born with 2 you know whats.
~It’s my birthday. ~I'm 80 years old you are 80, so what's the problem?
~High school coaches used to have a great saying which would be a good response to any excuse: "When a man plays the big game, he suits up!"
~Douching afterwards with Pepsi Cola will give you all the protection you need.
~It’s too slippery ...that's the excuse my ex used every time...plain lazy... really LoL ..
~I'd like to, but he has a no coverage policy. Trust me, he'll let us both down. Literally. ~This one has never come up.
~Someone at the Laundry Mat told me that I don't have to use one.
~My mind is blank!! ~Aliens took it.
~I could go on.. forgive me, I’m sleep deprived..
~I am, like, totally blushing. Like, my cheeks are totally the color of the side bars of this blog. Kidding. Seriously, though, good idea about the pen in the bottom of the laundry basket! You never know when you might need to take notes!
~I had one, but I ran out of gum. ~"I swear I'll pull out in time." That and "Pleeeeeeeaassee?"
~I've heard they damage ladies and I would never want that to happen to you. ~How about 'I'm allergic to Latex'? That would sorta work...
~You’re on the pill, so you won't get pregnant and I know I'm clean. ~I've been monogamous for too long! I don't have a #7.
~Well, you can't get pregnant if we do it standing up anyway. ~BTW...i think you nailed most of 'em. oops. poor choice of words.
~Yeah condoms, most of us guys hate them.. and for good reason.. they kill a lot of the feeling.. ~"If it goes on, it's not on."
~Heee.."I forgot it...we'll use one next time."
~"It'll bring us closer together."
~I won't come inside. I promise.
~I've overheard (in the fruit aisle) other women commiserating about this as well.. One said that he claimed: I'm allergic to latex... (and intelligent decisions, I deduced)...
~Oh, my goodness!! I don't know which I enjoyed more, reading your initial "excuses," or the ones submitted by your commenters!! Someone at the LAUNDRY MAT told him it was OK? Bwahahahaha!!!
~Men are sooo stupid...and the women that accept these lines? Uh yeah....someone thunk them on the forehead please!