A life by chocolate entails finding sweetness in the light and dark. Moreso, it's about addiction to cocoa. An insatiable sweet tooth doesn't hurt. Well, not until the yucky tartar buildup and stuff. To the point, I strive to entertain with topics such as the utter hilarity and cuteness of children; the challenges of dating, my related rationale for celibacy; and chocolate as a precious remedy for it all. Thanks for sampling Life by Chocolate. I hope you keep coming back for more.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Best of 2012, Your Favorite Humorous Post

Based on the number of your comments (43), this was your favorite humorous piece. It's an IWSG one, posted February 1st of this year.

Insecure Writer's Group and Judge Judy

Because writers might on occasion grapple with insecurities, Alex J. Cavanaugh founded an Insecure Writer’s Support Group for bloggers. We’re posting monthly, exposing our insecurities and/or offering support. Please check out Alex’s link to visit others’ posts. It’s a group of exceptional writers, authors and fun folks. 

Heated tensions continue between my confident writer's voice and my insecure self. As you may recall, Dr. Phil sent us on a 26-day intensive sponsored by the Foundation for Insecure People Attached to Secure Writers’ Voices. Yet my voice and I remain at odds. In fact, my insecure self slapped my secure writer’s voice with a lawsuit. Appalled by such treatment, I solicited the help of the harshest of harsh officials: Judge Judy. Let’s watch…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judge Judy (Glaring at Insecure Robyn): I’ve read your claim and it appears to be a bunch of bologna! What exactly are you suing for? Or are you just here to waste my time?

Insecure Robyn (pointing at Robyn’s Secure Writer’s Voice): Um, I, sh, she broke my trust. She told a secret. She wasn't supposed to tell yet.

Judge Judy: What secret are you talking about?

Insecure Robyn: Well, uh, she told some people that I, we, I mean, she’s writing a book.

Judge Judy: You’ve gotta be kidding! Do you even have half a brain lady? That’s why you’re suing? What’s wrong with that?

RSWV (Robyn’s Secure Writer’s Voice) flips her hair back with a smarmy smirk.

Insecure Robyn (shaking): I, um, I’m just, I'm not a real writer. Real writers publish like three or nineteen books and I’ll be lucky to do one before I, like, die and stuff. And I don’t have money for publication and I’m not famous like Snooki. She’s published, you know? Girl can’t read and she’s published! Anyway, I do have 26 cents saved for publication, but I hear that’s not enough. And my book might be funny but it’s gonna be a little sad too. And they'll be disappointed because nobody likes sadness. (Robyn starts to cry. Sniffling and tearful): And some people –for example, really moronic men- might get mad at me when they see their really moronic personal ads in my book.

Judge Judy (Rolling her eyes): This is sounding more and more twisted. (Looking at RSWV): What would you like to say in your own defense?

RSWV: Well they posted their moronic ads and some of them even wanted to date her. Look at her! She points at Insecure Robyn, who blows her nose loudly into her sleeve. They deserve it! But they’re not exactly literate anyway, so what the *bleep* is she worried about?

Judge Judy: I can’t argue with that. (Glaring at Insecure Robyn): Your case has no merit! I offend people all the time. You think that’s a bad thing? Think again and check my show ratings while you’re at it sister. Now, you’ve wasted enough of my time! She stands up and exits the courtroom.

RWV flips her hair back again and walks off proudly.

Insecure Robyn hides her face in her mucous-filled sleeve and trudges behind her, dodging the cameras.
**
Post-script: True, I’ve started a book and have felt too insecure to make this semi-official announcement until now. I’m excited, though. 

Today's post-post-script: Little did I know I'd break from my novel, Woman on the Verge of Paradise, to publish my poetry in Just the Right Time. Now, I return to the tale of my exhausting efforts to meet a man who's not a complete and utter weirdo. The novel's flavored by doses of men's internet dating ads. I'm about 3/4 done with the first draft.

Thanks for visiting. Have a safe, peaceful week.

14 comments:

Ms. A said...

Now that you have a little water under the bridge, perhaps you'll have some smooth sailing.

Rhonda said...

Hilarious, and congrats on writing the book. You are a few steps ahead of me. I am glad you re-ran this one, as I hadn't found your blog back in Feb.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I remember that one! All of your IWSG posts rock, Robyn. You have an awesome sense of humor.

Pat Hatt said...

Judge Judy was grand, surely a fav from your land.

Teri Vonn said...

So glad you portrayed Judge Judy correctly otherwise she may sue both secure and insecure Robyns.

YeamieWaffles said...

I loved this at the time and I still absolutely adore it Robyn, this really makes me laugh although like Alex says, all your IWSG posts do, I just adore your interviews whether they're with Kim Kardashian or Pippa Middleton.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Ah yes! I remember us discussing whether the moronic men might sue you for using their moronic ads. I may have offered to join your legal team. The offer stands!

Johanna Garth said...

I love this Judge Judy post and I agree with Alex. Your IWSG posts always make me laugh.

Julie said...

I remember this post and I did love it. I always love the Insecure Robyn posts. :D

Congratulations on your book, and good luck with getting it completed. I know it will be a great read! :)

Al Penwasser said...

A man who's not a complete weirdo?
You mean complete, complete?
Or maybe just kinda...?

L. Diane Wolfe said...

No, Snookie cannot read...

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

MsA, it sounds nice. I hope so. Thanks!

Rhonda, I'm glad you stopped by. Thanks for the encouragement & praise.

Alex, your compliments mean a lot.

PatHatt, she's predictable and not hard to imitate/mock. She is scary, though. I wouldn't want present my case to her, or brush by her in the supermarket.

Teri, yeah. See above. I wouldn't make it through the legal process.

YW, you are sweet. Thanks.

GB, alrighty. With you on my side, I can't lose. At least, it will be fun.

Johanna, thanks, sweet lady.

Julie, thanks so much. I surprised myself by creating it. If I can do it, anyone can. At least anyone literate, and that includes all my blog friends.

Al, I mean complete, complete.

L. Diane, it's obvious. Isn't it?

Thanks, all. I hope your week has started off well.
xoRobyn

Joanna Jenkins said...

You nailed Judge Judy perfectly! Ha.
Congratulations on your book.
jj

Baby Sister said...

That was the perfect Judge Judy impersonation!! I haven't had a chance to start your book yet, but I am super excited to read it. :)