And I Wrote This Book.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Anti-Valentine's Day Chocolate GIVEAWAY!

We can't ignore it any longer. Chocolate prices started skyrocketing on New Year's Day, and stores are full of mini "I LUV U" t-shirts sported by stuffed animals so hideous looking it's difficult to decipher if they're bears or armadillos. Clearly I have issues. I also hate February 14th. So I've decided to channel my V-Day venom into a noble cause: giving out chocolate to you, my readers.

All you need to do is complete this statement, "Roses are..." in no more than 25 words (You don't need to count "roses are", so you actually have up to 27 words to play with). Leave your responses in the comments section. I'll keep this contest going for at least a few days, longer if there's good participation. You can write a poem, prose, haiku, limerick, or utter nonsense. 

I will send sweet packages to the one or two people whose entries make me laugh the loudest, with a preference for anti-Valentine's Day sentiment.

32 comments:

  1. Roses are flowers found in bushes with barbed branches. She didn't break my heart by pushing me into that bush. Keeping the chocolate did.

    24 letters - oh yeh. Big Daddy can taste the sweet chocolate covered victory.

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  2. Cal should totally win this!
    Roses are... an expensive flower but not as priceless as you, Robyn!

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  3. Alex is right, Cal should win. I hate Valentine's Day too right now, agh! Here's my not so good effort:

    Roses are grey
    Violets are grey.
    I'm colourblind
    And loathe lover's day!

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  4. First of all Alex is right. I SHOULD win this. Secondly I am appaled at his use of desperate shallow flattery. Well played, Sir.

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  5. You guys make me blush and laugh. Love it! This is going to be difficult. I can't declare you a clear winner now Cal, I hope you understand. I've gotta get more entries. Love all your prose, flattery, poetry and nonsense, guys. THANK YOU!

    xoRobyn

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  6. Roses are for a sucker
    You give to get a pucker
    Falling for commercialezed crap
    Like some silly sap
    Better off with a hooker, at least you can umm "you know" her

    Yeah I used more words, but I don't eat chocolate anyway, just wanted to play.

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  7. Roses are red
    I am obscene
    Don't try to have sex with me
    My vagina is REALLY mean.

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  8. Roses are red
    Expensive and thorny
    So if you receive them
    He's probably ____ (?)

    Hmmmmm, I wonder!

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  9. Wow, they keep getting better and worse (i.e., naughty) at the same time. Great going, Pat, Amanda, and Ms.A. Thanks!
    xoRobyn

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  10. You had me at "chocolate giveaway"....


    Roses are red, violets are blue
    I only want Chocolate kisses from you.
    Poems suck and so does Valentine’s day.
    Give me some Chocolate or go away!

    The End~Ames

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  11. Roses are my least favorite flower.
    If you really gave a shit, you would never get them for me.

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  12. Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Take me to bed
    and I'll devour you!

    Okay, sorta lame and cheesy. But it's all I got. ha!

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  13. Roses are thorny
    Chocolate is creamy.
    If I win this giveaway,
    It would be just dreamy.

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  14. Roses are red , Valentines suck.
    I need some chocolate to change my luck!

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  15. Roses are soft
    Scissors are hard
    They're going to have fun
    With your Valentine card.

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  16. I’m always up for a challenge…here’s my feeble attempt/contribution:

    Roses are red
    I’m feelin’ blue
    ’Cause once again
    I got nothin’ from you

    Yeah, V-Day’s commercial
    Yeah, it’s crass
    But when you forget
    I could kick your ass

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  17. So creative - another great batch of entries! Thank you, all. I think we're almost ready to put Hallmark out of business.

    xoRobyn

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  18. Roses are stinky,
    They smell like old fart.
    I'd prefer a Twinkie,
    It's the way to my heart.
    Valentine's day ain't kinky -
    Cupid, keep your f*in dart!

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  19. A Valentines Haiku
    Roses Are
    Love, bereft of scorn
    Whether a dozen or more
    Ouch! Damn frikkin' thorns!!!

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  20. @laughingmom:
    Heyyyyyyyyyyyy, roses don't smell like me!

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  21. Dang I just stopped in to say Hi and look what's goin on! Rogyn, I too vote for Cal although Amanda gets straight to the point. Thanks for the kind words you left on my last post. I appreciate and enjoy your site whether it's dipped in chocolate or not!

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  22. Laughing, I feel the hate. Great job.

    Chuck, thanks for dropping by. You're in my thoughts.

    Al, an actual haiku? I'm impressed. (I don't even know what a haiku is but figured someone else might.) I told MsA "corny" must be what she's getting at. What else could it be?

    Thanks for your entries, all.

    xoRobyn
    xoRobyn

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  23. Haiku... a Japanese word meaning a very tired (slash lazy) poet... (less lines to write) - ;)

    Not being a big chocolaty fan and to save you postage, i shall kindly withdraw... but wish you all fun..

    :)

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  24. A Nerd Because I Know This:
    A haiku is a Japanese poem that is three lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables each.
    And just because it's Japanese doesn't mean you have to mention dinosaurs. Or sex robots.
    But, I guess you could.
    Sex robots please me
    They fulfill all my wishes
    Oh, no! Godzilla!!!
    NOTE: If you already knew what a haiku was, you don't need to admit it.

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  25. Thanks, Anthony.

    Al, if I were to award a prize for the comment that's not an entry but makes me laugh heartily, you guessed it. This is it! Thank you.

    PS I really didn't know what a haiku was/is. I just wanted to sound as though I did by suggesting someone write one.

    xoRobyn

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  26. Roses look pretty strewn on a bed
    Lovely to smell, soft to touch
    Damn thorns ...not so much

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  27. LMAO these are terrific and this is an awesome contest. I may have to enter. :)

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  28. LMAO!now i need a chocolate.
    roses are expensive and thorny, my friend.

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  29. i've been unable to connect to the internet these past days, hence my late comment.

    xo

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  30. I'm sad I missed this. But the winners did a great job. :)

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