One was JoJo's very honest sentiment:
Another was Julie's perfectly amusing poem:
Cupid is stupid,
My boyfriend is gay.
I went to bed a brunette,
And woke up gray.
As we began to shut off the polling-booth lights, one more voter came stumbling in to cast the deciding vote: Herman. Mr. HermanTurnip said of his favorite slogan, "It's juvenile and caters to the lowest common denominator." So, we're sorry, JoJo, Julie, and all other competitors, but nobody does juvenile and lowest-common-denominator catering like Mr. Al Penwasser. (I also want to note, with sincerity, that he's a fabulous author and you should read his books. See link to Shag Carpet Toilet on the right sidebar of my blog.) Here's Al's winning slogan:
Al Penwassersaid...This really is fun....
It's Valentines! I will...
buy some chocolates, buy some flowers
and a little blue pill
to give me four hours.
CONGRATULATIONS, Al! We hope you enjoy precious chocolate (I'll have my people call yours) and your four hours (alone or with Mrs. Penwasser).
Thank you all for joining me in hating Valentine's Day!
It's been great fun. Let's hit the chocolate sales on Feb. 15th.
PS I love you - not in a weird battery-operated adult "toy" kinda way. I love you for making me laugh and being silly and caring and supportive and all that other sappy stuff that falls short of my telling you to have a Happy Valentine's Day, because I still really hate Valentine's Day.