And I Wrote This Book.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Anti-Valentine's Day Giveaway & Beer Chocolate!

I. Anti-Valentine's Day Giveaway! Create an anti-Valentine's Day slogan in 20 words or less. Put it in the comments section. That's all! Just write something funny/entertaining/hateful about V. Day. You'll vote on your favorite, and the winner will get a sweet package involving fair-trade chocolate. (I don't skimp when it comes to chocolate.)

Deadline for submissions: Tuesday/Wednesday, 12 midnight PST.  

I've already received these worthy entries:  
 
Nothing says YOU'RE SPECIAL like a mass-produced sentiment written by someone else!

Daisy said...
Chocolate hearts
make Valentine's Day fun,
but if you're alone,
all you REALLY want
is the day
over and done.

Al Penwasser said...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Chocolate makes you fat
I'll eat the chocolate
and you can have the flowers.

Fanny Barnes Thornton said...A Valentine -just my luck!
I wanted a heart, but I got a duck!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

II. I've sampled Chocolate Beer, and now we have Beer Chocolate!

This contest winner will get to choose one of these flavors. There's a bacon flavored chocolate bar too. I'll let you know the options when the time comes. For now, I tasted devoured Vosges' Smoke & Stout Caramel Bar made with Rogue Ale's Chocolate Stout beer.

I hate beer, but I liked this chocolate bar, mainly because the taste of caramel is primary. It's like a gooey, yummy, caramel-y mess with a splash of stout. The flavors blend well together, actually. It's not a match made in heaven, but they do alright. Still, I prefer Vosges' bacon flavored chocolate bar. Vosges chocolates are fair trade. They're pricey, $6 per bar, but worth it for the novelty and taste.

All in all, I give Vosges' Smoke & Stout Caramel Bar a 7.5 on a scale of 1-10 (1 being impotent and 10 being orgasmic).

Have a sweet day.

 

32 comments:

  1. Who got the bright idea of placing a 'romantic' holiday right in the middle of the most snore-worthy time of the year?

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  2. Roland's is so true!
    Still thinking of one.
    I did mention the giveaway today though.

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  3. Would you mind if I spend Valentine's Day with my cat?

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  4. Nothing says love like a dozen over-prices flowers that are just going to die in two days.

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  5. Beer chocolate--who knew? I never knew there were so many kinds of chocolate until I started reading your blog, Robyn. :D

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  6. For Valentine's Day to be really sweet,
    Two requirements you must meet.
    Chocolate and a lady friend,
    Damn! I have no lady, where to begin?

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  7. Chocolate, flowers and stuffed bears, oh my! One makes you fat, one wilts on your mat and the other is covered in rat scat.

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  8. A bacon-flavored chocolate bar? It sounds so wrong that it could only be right :)

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  9. La la la. I'm going to pretend you didn't just say you hated beer. It's okay, we all make mistakes when we're blogging. The word 'hate' is really close to 'love' anyway. :)

    Since I desperately want to win this beer chocolate, here's my entry:

    Valentine's Day: Buy a box of stale, dollar store chocolates, get some flowers that’ll be dead by tomorrow, and be sad and fat and alone... together.

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  10. I need to put more thinking time into this slogan business. I am running out of time...

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  11. Valentines Day: Just another holiday that guilt trips men into buying crap for women who probably don't deserve it.

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  12. Instead of telling you how special you are to me in my own words, I found a greeting card while at the grocery store buying some ham, that contains words that a complete stranger wrote and sold for some money to a giant corporation. Luckily they describe exactly my deepest emotions about how I feel about you, and I got a great price on the ham.

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  13. You guys and gals are awesome. I love all the entries. Do remember, 20 words max, though. I don't want to have to disqualify any of these. I'm still laughing.

    Thanks.
    xoRobyn

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  14. 20 word max?!?!?! This is the Russian's fault isn't it? Anyways I tried to edit mine down to 20 but couldn't do it. The best I could do is 42:

    Instead of telling you how special you are in my own words, I found a greeting card while at the grocery store buying ham. Luckily they describe exactly how I feel about you, and I got a great price on the ham.

    If you round down that could be 20.

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  15. That's not 20 words? That's already so small. This is why I don't write flash fiction.

    Try this on for size. 20 even.

    Buy some stale, dollar store chocolates, some flowers that’ll be dead tomorrow, and be sad and fat and alone... together.

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  16. I am feeling less than witty today, but I am loving the responses! Can't wait to see the winning one :)

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  17. I know I've already submitted but...
    Valentines Day?
    Oh ain't that just ducky?
    If things go my way
    I just might get lucky.

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  18. Here's my little ditty:

    Another Valentines's Day,
    Cupid is stupid,
    My boyfriend is gay.
    I went to bed a brunette,
    And woke up gray.

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  19. I'm writing this at 4:30 am after having been up all night.

    Beep beep beep–beep beep
    Oxygen mask yanked off again
    Mom’s not loving me
    As I place it back on.

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  20. Okay, Robyn, here is my slogan coming in at EXACTLY 20 words:

    Take a stand against Valentine's Day. Chocolate should be given frequently and often. For instance, all days ending in "y."

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  21. This really is fun....
    It's Valentines! I will...
    buy some chocolates, buy some flowers
    and a little blue pill
    to give me four hours.

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  22. *Laughter here.* Thanks for all the entries...10-1/3 more hours to enter the giveaway!!!

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  23. Where have I been? Where am I? Oh yeah and oops, time for one of my um, treasured comments.

    Anti-Valentine's Day. Such a day. Romance at play. I don't really care. It's only fair My fake smile, sunny. Just give me your money.

    Beer chocolate? Does it have a head on it?

    Gary :) x

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  24. Lol. How about a picnic in the park. With all this snow it is sure to be fun.

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  25. I know I've entered once already, but I thought I'd give it another go.

    Hand made hearts...
    Champagne and strawberries...
    Death by chocolate...
    Priceless.

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  26. Like I said elsewhere I love Valentine's day. I also love chocolate of course, and flowers and wine and jewellery and chocolate.

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  27. Best of luck to the contestants. Thanks for stopping by my blog today Fanny. The author saw my review and the comments and she emailed me that she is so happy with my review and the reception.

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  28. Sorry Robyn, called you Fanny by mistake.

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  29. Sheena-Kay, no problem. I call bloggers the wrong names all the time.

    Thanks all...only 4 more hours to enter!

    xoRobyn

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  30. "I bought you this card because I can't read my own writing. Happy Valentines Day!"

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