And I Wrote This Book.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

A Man and His Little Black Dress: Celebrating Celibacy, Reason #286

The little black dress -  courtesy of google images

It's full-proof: cute, slimming, an easy throw-on, and amenable to accessorizing with grace and simplicity. Every woman loves wearing it. Apparently, one man does too, enough to mention a little black dress in his Internet dating ad. Here's the ad (also reason #286 for straight, single women to remain celibate), shortened so as not to bore you.

*photo of conservative looking guy
in a suit and tie and gold Rolex*

Headline: i would love to be with a woman who is loving,caring and honest as a life partner

Ad: I am an honest heart that's looking for a stable relationship...I am not interested in games or drama. I amjust as comfortable with my hair up in old jeans as with my hair down wearing my favorite little black dress. I love to dance: All styles, disco, house, or swing. In your little black dress?I love spontaneity and being a bit impulsive. In your little black dress? I generally try to live a somewhat healthy lifestyle, exercising and some sort of jogging in your little black dress?, 3-4 days a week and eating healthy, (trust me, I love sweets and pastries, but try not to over do it). Yeah, the little black ain't so flattering after a binge fest, is it? I would also like to find a like-minded male So you're looking for a man and a woman? A threesome? How many will be wearing the little black dress?


I couldn't help but send this stud a message on Jan 27th:


Subject line: Hi, interesting ad
My email: Hi,
We have something in common: we both like to wear little black dresses.

PS If you aren't actually into wearing little black dresses, I suggest writing your own profile, rather than copying and pasting a woman's profile here.

PPS If you are into wearing little black dresses, all power to you. I wish you luck with properly accessorizing.

Cheers.
Robyn 


As of now, he has yet to read this email. I was hoping he would, to share it here. Alas, he's likely been busy shopping for a pretty dress for Superbowl Sunday.

*Please note that I take no issue with the LGBTQ community, or threesomes, or cross-dressing. To each their own little black dress. No harm done. But I do take issue a man who's such a lazy dolt that he steals a woman's personal ad to use as his own without even reading it. This little black dress dude provides yet another reason to celebrate celibacy.

PS I'm skipping Sundays in My City, because DuPont is too fair to take sides and I don't have new pictures. Go, Broncos! (That's for Bryan & Brandon, and because Denver's even prettier than Seattle).

Have a warm, safe, and peaceful new week!

35 comments:

  1. He's lucky it didn't say anything worse than little black dress.
    The Washington Redskins' 'Hoggettes' wear dresses. Maybe he's looking for one of them?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Braveheart wore a kilt. But so long as he doesn't ask me out or cause pain to others, I am all right with whatever amuses him.

    Life never ceases to amaze, amuse, or just plain befuddle me. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. He sounds like a lesbian trapped inside a man's body. Let's hope he answers your email with a picture of himself in the black dress!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow that is super duper lazy indeed. Would be hilarious if he sent you a pic with him in a little black dress

    ReplyDelete
  5. That was my thought when I read the ad too -- "the lazy bugger just cut and pasted it!" Bet you never hear back from him. Or it could be a "gag ad" his buddies posted to embarrass him or something.

    ReplyDelete
  6. What if he insists on meeting you now (in a little black dress)? :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think the ad was a cut and pasted ad written by a woman. The part about "I would also like to find a man..." gave that away. A woman who likes wearing little black dresses is looking for a man with the same interests (hopefully sans the black dresses... or not - whatever she's into I guess;).

    I beg you... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE print out his response should he reply. ::on pins and needles::

    ReplyDelete
  8. If he has a whole collection of little black dresses, would he be willing to share?

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's my main question, Spunk, along with what size he wears.

    Roland, Braveheart can rock a kilt, and I wouldn't mind him asking me out. Yes, as long as people don't hurt others, all power to them.

    GB, Pat, Vanessa, and Robin, I hope so. It would give me more material.

    Debra, I thought of that too. It's possible.

    Thanks, all.
    Keep a smile.
    Have a good Sunday and week.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  10. So peculiar. I guess it takes all kinds to make the world go round. I hope he sends you a reply. :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have a black garbage sack that makes me look alluring, if I do say so myself.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey, if a woman wants to jet ski, rock climb, or fire walk in her little black dress, more power to her. My only advice would be to wash the darn thing once in a while.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was so confused by his ad, that I didn't even figure out that it was a result of cut and paste. I hope you get a response just to see what he says. Maybe the guy really does wear little black dresses.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ha! Ha! LOL
    What are you like! Robyn, stop messing with men in little black dresses. At least try to find one that wears a skirt, er, kilt - sexy, too!

    ReplyDelete
  15. The world is big enough that he may very well find someone who likes him in his little black dress :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Lol!! That's just pathetic. And sad. And hilarious. I'm just glad he didn't post a picture of him wearing the dress. Now that would have been disturbing.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Who is stupid enough to do that? And 90% his photo is fake or of him 30 yrs ago. Or maybe it's a fake. Sites pay for fake commenters, fake reviews, why not fake profiles? Makes their site look like it has more people to choose from.

    Have a nice week! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. You were sweet to cheer for Denver, Robyn, but that wasn't the Broncos playing tonight. Apparently some middle schoolers stole their uniforms and waddled out there to embarrass us. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go curl up in my little black dress and cry.

    ReplyDelete
  19. He probably has shapely hairless legs too. I'm glad that you wrote to that jerk. He makes some of us look very, very bad.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am almost sure I have read that exact ad from a lady on a dating site in Alabama. It just occurred to me this copying someone's else ad may be a common thing. That's a scary thought, yes?

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am so sorry, Bryan and Brandon. It was over in the first quarter, wasn't it? Dangit, the Seahawks put the Broncos to shame. I hope your fine city recovers by the next Superbowl.

    Lexa, that's a good point. It's a pretty standard business man photo, so it's possible it's a 'filler.'

    Stephen, you use the term "alluring" loosely, right?

    Fanny, I'm just laughing at your response. I have no words but "thank you."

    Julie, he likely rocks fishnet stockings too.

    Love you all, sillies.
    Your comments are making me laugh.
    Keep a smile,
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  22. haha that's so weird.. lol
    Keep us updated as I'd love to hear the response.. I think some of these sites create profiles themselves perhaps by the method you suggest.
    God i hope so.. because the alternative is as scary as hell haha

    funny shit as always
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  23. I will never look at a little black dress the same again...

    ReplyDelete
  24. Denver prettier than Seattle?! We'll have to disagree on that one! lol So happy for my Seahawks!!!

    That ad is a scream. Please provide us with an update if he emails you back or changes the ad. I'd love to know what he says!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I used to cashier at a retail store. One day a very nice looking, well built man came through my line with a little black dress and a pair of heels. I though, oh, how nice he is picking those up for his lady. Imagine my surprise when he walked directly into the bathroom after his purchase and came sashaying out in HIS new little black dress and heels!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I tried online dating for a couple of years. I thought it would boost my self-confidence after a bad break-up. As it turns out, it was just another dead-end for me, but from what my fiancee tells me, it was because I was trying to be something I was not. It took me a decade to work up the courage to ask her out, though, so I guess I tend to be a bit slow when it comes to relationships...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hilarious. It is possible that it wasn't his error or copying, but rather the person who typed up the ad. Either way, thanks for the laughs. And as for the threesome, I think only one will fit in the little black dress at a time.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh wow, that's hilarious! I wish he would have replied to you, too. Now we'll never know and are left with our imaginations and our laughter. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  29. What a putz!
    That was really good Robyn. I like little black dresses, but I've yet to see a guy who looked good in one. As far as I know, that is...

    ReplyDelete
  30. hilarious, robyn!

    those guys certainly look good in their little black dresses!
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete