Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Insecure Writer's Support Group Featuring Dr. Ruth Westheimer


It seems insecurities delight in wreaking havoc with creative minds, so  Alex J. Cavanaugh  founded an Insecure Writer’s Support Group. We’re posting monthly, exposing our insecurities and/or offering support to each other. Please check out Alex’s link to visit others’ posts. It’s a group of kind-hearted bloggers/writers, authors and all-around great folks.  
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And now, we are incredibly fortunate to welcome Dr. Ruth Westheimer to our studio. Though orphaned by the Holocaust, Dr. Ruth displays exceptional resilience and boldness. In 1980, she launched her radio show, Sexually Speaking. Dr. Ruth quickly drew worldwide popularity for her grandmotherly appearance yet unflinching candor. Her accolades include at least 35 published books, and a stint as a sniper in the Israeli Defense Forces. Plus she’s tiny - about my height. I look up to her. Ladies and gentlemen, let’s welcome Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

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Dr. Ruth, at age 83, strolls on stage with a warm smile and wave. Robyn gives her a hug and invites her to take a seat.

Robyn: Welcome, Dr. Ruth! It’s a great honor to have you here to talk about s, s, s,se..cks.

Dr. Ruth: My dear why are you stuttering?

Robyn: Laughing nervously and turning red-faced. I guess I have insecurities. That’s why I asked you here.

Dr. Ruth: You have sexual insecurities? Could it be vaginismus? Are you not achieving orgasm during intercourse? Is he suffering from erectile dysfunction? Have you consulted a doctor about Viagra? Tell me what the problem is.

Robyn: Oh, God. My heart races, legs and arms begin convulsing radically, and I stare down at my feet. Well, I, I don’t actually have ANY sexual problems. Because I’m not having ANY sex these days. It’s more a matter of needing to write about my asexuality. And that feels abnormal and kinda embarrassing. Plus there were some thwarted attempts to have s, s, se--. Crap! Dr. Ruth, it was never my fault that the guys couldn’t, you know, but it’s still humiliating. And the men I’ve been meeting these days, whew, talk about nutters! I’m so turned off I don’t even want to high-five them wearing latex gloves and a gas mask. Ah – I sigh— celibacy is relieving.

Dr. Ruth: So you don’t have a sex partner? Is that what you’re trying to say?

Robyn: I guess. I think. I mean, yes, I don’t have a partner. That’s status quo for me.

Dr. Ruth: No problem. Go into your bedroom, close the door, read steamy books, play Barry White, and bring yourself to pleasure.

Robyn: My face evokes utter disgust. Oh, God, I can’t. I just can’t.

Dr. Ruth: Why not? Quit whining and enjoy yourself.

Robyn: No, it’s not that. It’s just…Barry White, Doctor Ruth?  I’d climax in my own vomit.

Dr. Ruth: Well then try Marvin Gaye.

Robyn: That’s better. I relax into a lengthy exhale, pull a Big Hunk bar out of my purse and hand her a piece. Thanks so much, Dr. Ruth. You’re a true gem. You’ve really enlightened me and the world.

We walk off stage, arm in arm, exchanging grins and chatter while nibbling at chunks of Big Hunk.

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End note 1: I really can’t do justice to this endearing woman or her German accent, which I didn’t even attempt to inject. For a more authentic snippet and/or a bit or nostalgia, go here:
End note 2: I opted out of the A-Z Challenge this year, mainly to focus on my book. But I feel some guilt over reaping the benefits (thanks to Alex’s sweet shout-out yesterday) without trudging through the alphabet. Sending gratitude to new followers; energy and drive - plus delight, donuts, and divine inspiration - to those currently contending with “d”; and much appreciation to my dear friend, Alex!

35 comments:

  1. This was cute, Robyn! How cool that Alex gave you props in the Challenge! He's an awesome guy!

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  2. Hah, Dr Ruth, what a feisty old girl! But why is she so fond of a black man's voice? What's wrong with Topol?

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  3. Wonder what her s s s... life is like now? At 83, she's probably still a spitfire!

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  4. I laughed pretty hard at the Barry White thing and how you'd rather climax in your own vomit, awesome post Robyn.

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  5. Robyn, that was hilarious! Don't think I could handle listening to either singers though.

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  6. As long as you have a Big Hunk bar to turn to, you’ll be just fine! ;)

    (can’t believe I wrote that...)

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  7. Beth, I can't believe I wrote the whole post (typed while nibbling at a Big Hunk...I wish.) =)

    Alex, I know. I didn't think of anyone better whose music is known for its sex appeal. (Chock it up to Dr. Ruth's -er, my- limited music savvy.)

    YW, thank you!

    MsA, it appears she is. She seems to have looked and sounded the same through all these decades.

    GB, Topol? I guess she hasn't heard of him/them/her? Don't know. Perhaps what she has in feist she lacks in music knowledge.

    BethZ, thank you.

    PS Is blogger's new look driving anyone else bonkers? I can't barely find the letters, the fonts so small. Plus I lost this post for about 45 minutes. When I found it I posted extra early, for fear of losing it again.

    xoRobyn

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  8. PS Of course I meant "I CAN -vs can't- barely find them" (the letters). Guess I didn't see the "'t" when I first typed it.

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  9. I'm so glad that Alex gave you the spotlight! I need to get up the courage to join the insecure writers group...

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  10. Ah, great post! And I'm glad Alex gave you the spotlight too. :)

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  11. LMAO oh that is a mood killer right there, vomit is not a word one wants to use...hahaha... nice on the props too and yeah both singers would prob annoy me.

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  12. Spotlight given maybe, but deserved...enjoyed this snippet...our fingers , cleaner and better anyday... :)

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  13. Funny post. I liked the candor of the interview and its originality. Thanks for sharing!

    Happy IWSG
    From Diary of a Writer in Progress

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  14. you always come up with the funniest, yet amazing stories, robyn!

    so glad that alex gave you the spotlight.

    big hugs!

    have a great rest of your day.

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  15. Forget Dr. Ruth and bring me a Big Hunk Bar! Very cute and I love how you referenced "D" for the challenge! Julie

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  16. Dr. Ruth’s giggle always hotwired my own laughter. Robyn you are an original and you make me smile too.

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  17. "And the men I’ve been meeting these days, whew, talk about nutters!"
    So, you're saying you've seen their nutters.
    Sweet.
    By the way, you get a mention in my 'F' post tomorrow.
    Don't worry, it's not about the 'F' word.

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  18. Climax and vomit at the same time...?
    Better than shit or go blind, I guess.
    Or climaxing and farting.
    THAT I've done, though.

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  19. Funny Robyn! Dr. Ruth was really cutting edge, back in the day...

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  20. This interview with Dr. Ruth makes me want to put my hands over my eyes and cover them from what I'm reading, lol. It's so weird how sex is such an uncomfortable subject for some people and others tackle it just fine...like Dr. Ruth. Boy does she seem to have it all together in that area.

    I came here based on Alex's mention of your blog on his "C" post. I like chocolate too...just had me a piece of red velvet cake that was delicious, the other day though! It was well worth the $3.75 price tag. Yes that was for one slice, but hey, what can anyone say...it was purchased from a store in New York!

    Still, that doesn't hold a candle to the $5 red velvet cupcake that I got a few months ago, from a bakery in Philadelphia.

    My oh my...the things we're willing to do, or better yet, the amount we're willing to pay for a little taste of sweetness HAS to be insane!

    ~Nicole
    Blog: The Madlab Post
    @MadlabPost on Twitter

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  21. Cheryl, no hesitation needed. All insecurities are welcome.

    Cherie, thank you.

    Pat, glad you enjoyed it, minus the vomit.

    Rek, good point (no pun intended) about our fingers. You make me laugh and nod my head at the same time.

    Gina, I appreciate it.

    Betty, big hugs back to you, my friend.

    Julie, it's strange that I'm not living off of Big Hunk bars. In fact, I'm not sure I've ever had one. I'll have to change that quickly.

    Mary, she's amazing that way. Thanks.

    Baygirl, I do. I mean, where's that Big Hunk?

    Teri, she does "hotwire laughter" (love that phrase). Thanks, my friend.

    Al, I don't know if I should encourage you by saying I can't get enough of your comments. Actually, I know that I should NOT have said that. I'm wondering with angst about my relationship to your F post and if it's sexual.

    Pat, thank you. You was amazing. I'd trade Dr. Oz for her any day. She spoke to everyone. He, just to the people in loving relationships who want sex more often.

    Nicole. Thank you! I enjoyed your comments about chocolatey sweets. There is no end to what us chocoholics will do and pay for the good stuff.

    xoRobyn

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  22. PS Just deleted my comment about typos because it had a typo, as if anyone but me rereads my comments. Or, as if anyone but me rereading my comments will find typos (or, if they do, they are too kind to point them out)...Anyway, PatHatt, you are amazing. What I meant to write, though, is that Dr. Ruth was (and still is) too.

    Cheers, all.
    xoRobyn

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  23. PPS Banging head against wall - PatTillett, not PatHatt. If I didn't have to run, I'd spend the next 20 minutes deleting my own comments because of typos. You are all amazing. My typing and weird brainwave patterns, not so much.

    xoRobyn

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  24. Dr Ruth is adorable!! :) So are you, Robyn. And quite humorous!! I think as long as you have chocolate and stay far away from Berry White, you should be good. :)

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  25. hahaha brilliant!

    I love her accent.. i remember her well from the eighties...

    Vaginismus - lol... Classic..

    Either I'm going to take a 20 hr flight to cure your affliction or I'm sending you a two pronged purple monster.. (albeit a rubber one..)

    ;)

    x

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  26. "there were some thwarted attempts to have s, s, se--. "
    Dearie, I have been married 17 years. Trust me, there are MANY thwarted attempts to have s, s, se...
    Happy Friday,Robyn!!

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  27. So, so funny LOL. I cracked up about Barry White. I'm not a fan either LOL.

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  28. Barry & Marvin totally messed with my head. Thanks for 20 wasted minutes!

    LYMI!!!

    J

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  29. Hilarious! HIlarious! Hilarious! You are one funny girl, Robyn! No wonder you call yourself Rawking!
    Very nice to meet you today!

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  30. BabySis, you're sweet. Much thanks.

    Anthony, LOL, I couldn't ask for a better, more selfless friend. And I'm deliberating. Two-pronged, huh? Can you tell me the girth?

    Ah, thanks, Dawn. I needed to hear (read) that. Happy weekend!

    Julie, thanks. I don't really get Barry's appeal but I guess he's "worked" for some singles and couples.

    John, oh no, 20 minutes? So sorry. Thank you for making me laugh so loud the neighbors are thinking I've got company.

    Cathy, thank you so much. I'm so glad to connect. You're a gem.

    xoRobyn

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