And I Wrote This Book.

Monday, August 9, 2010

A Childhood Fetish


Me, age 3. Dawn (4), me, Glenn-David (2)

Dear Friends,

You have earned my trust. It hasn't been easy, but you have been there for me over and over again. At times, betwixt my silly posts, I've taken you to some dark places. With great angst, I have forced myself to click on "Publish Post." As a result, your responses were consistently loving and supportive.

Once again, I make myself vulnerable to your judgement. I do so with full faith that you will offer the generous acceptance that it is your nature to convey. This time is different. This time, I take you to the darkest place of all: I had a clown fetish as a child.

I don't know what spurred this obsession or how I overcame it. I can sincerely say that I have been abstinent for years. But I digress. I have also not adorned clown attire nor drawn clown pictures nor gone to a circus in ages. (Disclaimer: I have eaten cotton candy many times since age 3.)

In fact, I'm rather apathetic about the clown thing today. I don't hate them. I don't love them. They are weird and freakish, but they mean well. I'm like that too. (I can't even say that I was a "cute weird" kid, because it looks like I may have peed - just a little - in my orange clown suit.) Anyway..

I hope you can forgive me and we can just move onto other posts, as if nothing ever happened. I'm about to press "Publish Post." I do so with trust in you as the loving, accepting and always forgiving people that I know you to be. ...Gulp.


28 comments:

  1. Oh clowns always scared me. Did you ever see the film IT? There is even a group on facebook where you can become a fan of not being murdered by clowns.

    Kate xx
    http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I RENOUNCE YOU!

    Well, no, not really. I actually like clowns and my wife even has a clown mask she wears for role playing sometimes. You know, like most people do.

    Cute pics, Robyn!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Eeeww, clowns have always given me the heebiejeebies. There is something very sinister about those smiles...

    ReplyDelete
  4. As a retired circus ape, let me just say that wanting to be a clown is a lot better than wanting to hump one.

    ReplyDelete
  5. have no hang up about clowns. once the makeup comes off just aother person who may need some cheering. Rose

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm actually impressed. Most kids are scared of clowns. Good on you!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What are your thoughts on Ice Cream trucks?

    HUGS

    ReplyDelete
  8. clowns don't do it for me.. they are just pain creepy

    ReplyDelete
  9. Don't love clowns, but I still like you. The pictures are adorable!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Kate, that's very funny about the FB group. I didn't see IT, but I did see "Killer Clowns from Outer Space" or something horrible like that. xo

    Tgo, as every couple should. Thanks! ;-)

    Tuppence, and my clown face is frowning too. But I liked it..?! xo

    GB, I can't say from personal experience, but I tend to agree with you on that one. [o:

    Rose, that's very true. xo

    Marnie, thanks for seeing the positive in my darkest of secrets! ;->

    TIS, it depends who's driving and what kind of chocolate's available. Hugs! xo

    Baygirl, does your daughter like clowns? I'm wondering what kids really think of them. Was it just me? Never mind. We need not go there. ;-D

    BabySis, thanks for still liking me and the pics. (They are pretty cute and funny, if I do say so myself.) xo

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  11. First off, CLOWNS DO NOT MEAN WELL!

    Second, I wish I could find one piece jammers like that in my size. I

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, your brother and sister don't look scared of you :) but I would be a little spooked.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Robyn...thats not the weirdest or the worst fetish...if you felt a need to wear a clown custume while you were blogging everyday...then I would be worried....(you dont do you..?)...and you are soooo cute..!

    ReplyDelete
  14. The clown fear is so common. People who are adults even hate them. I always think of that scene in Poltergeist. Eek!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I really don't get the fear with clowns. They're just...clowns.

    Now - spiders...there's something to fear!

    ReplyDelete
  16. How could you do that?!

    lol - this post was hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'll forgive you for this one hilarious oddity... just this once.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I never really saw the point with clowns…strange and creepy must be what somebody was going for.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Pat, come on, Bozo was a good guy. Actually, I heard he was a child predator, so never mind. Second, me too! xo

    DDG, I guess they were used to me looking that way. :0)

    SmaRtee, uh, no not exactly EVERY day. 3 or 4 times a week is normal. Right? Thanks! xo

    Ally, I don't remember that scene. I just don't get the whole clown thing: why they exist, why they are so feared, and why I had that fetish. [-:

    Marlene, exactly, especially the big spiders. xo

    MegO,thank you! Great to see you here too.;->

    Cheeseboy, thank you. I promise not to do this one again. Phew! xo

    Teachin4th, yes, I don't get it. If they're supposed to cheer kids up, why don't they look happy?! {-:

    BB, hmm, kinda wish I still had it. Nah. Sorry, you'll have to shop for your own. xo

    Thanks for still accepting me!
    xoHugs and kisses,
    Robyn

    ReplyDelete
  20. I haven't actually seen many clowns in my life and I think that's a good thing!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Clown phobia is actually a huge problem with kids and can carry on to adulthood. To hear someone just the opposite is actually refreshing. My son (now 23) has a horrible clown phobia. He actually had tee shirts that said things like "can't sleep, clowns will eat me" or "the only good clown is a dead clown." yes, his fear was real, lol

    ReplyDelete
  22. They are happy people - they make kids laugh. You must be a very happy kid.

    ReplyDelete
  23. haha - love the honesty - ah the 60's.. yes clowns are scary- i dont know why parents persist with them.. i guess you liked them.. too much Stephen King for me...

    =]

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh Robyn! *sigh* If I could, I'd buy us plane tickets to Vegas and take you to the real deal and watch the Cirque du Soleil and help you discover why you can be proud of your childhood clown costume. And then you'd say: "Oh that's what a REAL clown is like? Cooolllll..."

    I LOVE CLOWNS! I find nothing freaky about them... :o)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Ca88, yes, I'm sure it's a good thing. :0)

    Tracy, those t-shirt logos are hilarious! Still, that kind of hatred is a tad extreme. xo

    Sarah, I agree. Clowns mean well. Pat and others don't agree. (But I did look kind of cute.) d-:

    Anthony, Yeah, I'm not sure if it's the parents, the kids, or Stephen King..someone keeps the clowns alive. xo

    MissNikki, that's very sweet of you to want to take me to Vegas to see the real deal. It's nice to know there are a few non-haters out there. ;0)

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  26. If you like Clowns, then you should definitely like Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Don't hate ;)

    ReplyDelete
  27. You're a brave person to like clowns. There's a whole branch of psychology that treats clownaphobics.

    When my children were small they used to faithfully watch the Bozo show, out of Chicago. My husband was convinced that gravelly-voiced,cigar-coughing, red-bloat-faced Bozo used to go out with crew members and tie one on every day after the show.

    ReplyDelete