Sunday, May 2, 2010

Dear Sandra Letter

Dear Sandra,

Let’s talk, girlfriend. First, congratulations on your little angel! Louis is precious! How you managed to keep him a secret is more impressive than your Oscar winning performance in The Blind Side – or so I assume. (I will see the movie soon, really. I did think you were cute in Miss Congeniality. As far as the movie itself, it wasn’t good. Not good at all, but I’ll write another letter about that later.)

Second, thank you for confirming that such a gorgeous, talented and seemingly grounded person can marry their soul mate with full heart and commitment. Yet in an instant, it all snapped into a nightmare far beyond the predictable. You’ve shown us that this is just part of life’s raw deal, because the depths of human psyche surpass human comprehension. All of us have the potential for things unseen at the surface, and sickness is best hidden by those who are the most disturbed.

People are stupid, though. I heard a DJ criticize you for not seeing this coming – given Jesse’s history with women. Damn her for saying that, but I get it. No one wants to believe that life is so random, that a good person could suffer without at least in some way having done something wrong to thereby merit their fate. They don’t want to believe it, because this means they too are vulnerable to losing it all in an instant. And they are. We all are.

Now, if only you would see things more clearly. You are quoted saying that your current relationship with Jesse includes “forgiveness” “and support for his recovery.” Don’t you think it’s a bit early to forgive? Why forgive that bastard at all? Did he do any apologizing before the world learned of his escapades? No, he was playing the loyal husband. You married a good actor, by the way.

Next, there is no “recovery” for infidelity. Perhaps you and Elin should do some research as you contemplate these all important decisions. There's no 12-Step program for sex addicts [On that note, dear followers, and I’ll delete this little aside before I mail this letter, can you imagine it? “My name is Jesse, and I have a sex problem. I will surrender this problem to the Higher Power, after I get a sponsor for my sex problem. I’ll take one with at least 35 tattoos. And when I say ‘take,’ well, you can guess what I mean.”], nor is there a specific “therapy for sex addicts.” Alas, nor are there interventions that have successfully treated people whose sexual activity enters the realm of infidelity or, worse, crime.

We know that your adoption – which has not yet been made legal- bodes much better for you to adopt as a single mom under the circumstances. After all, what Judge would grant the scumbag equal custody now? So I’m nervous that you merely filed as a strategic ploy.

I don’t get it. I’m speaking as a woman almost your age, but, well, 2 years younger than you (excuse me for a moment - “Woohoo!!” Sorry). Even though I’m younger than you (Did I already mention that?) I’ve been blind sided too. From the moment it began to end, though, I did not look back at all. He didn’t even cheat, Sandra. I’d think you’d be at least as wise as me, given you are, after all, 2 years older than me.

My actual point is that I cannot begin to fathom how you would even be on the fence. Girlfriend, have the self respect to make the divorce stick! Learn from your blind sidedness. The world desperately needs your role modeling right about now, as does baby Louis.

PS I’m a good, mature babysitter (but not quite as mature as you, given I'm 2 years younger than you. I'm just sayin'), available evenings and weekends. Call me.

Fondly,
Robyn

34 comments:

  1. Ya know this is a great letter. I find no fault with her and think she is handling all this bs so gracefully. Great post!!!!!!

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  2. This is so helpful of a letter. Sandra Bullock is such a great roll model and she should really think about his actions before even considering taking him back if my hubby was to cheat it would be over. No amount of forgiveness can make me stay with someone who violated that trust and commitment that we made with each other in front of god and family. He would be lucky if he came out of the divorce alive and well. lol

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  3. Ah, but there is a cure. "Bobbit!"

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  4. Thanks Lisa Marie. She is pure grace. I adore her, like the rest of the world. The woman deserves so much better.

    I'm totally with you on that one, Jessica. I routinely reminded my now ex the same thing (ie Don't even think about it, or you're history.) Thanks!

    Ms. A, I ALMOST went there, but I stopped myself. I think she'll need some time before considering such options.

    Thanks ladies.
    xoRobyn

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  5. That baby has good hair. Sorry, but I just had to say that.

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  6. "There are none so blind as those who will not see.” (been there, done that…)
    Hope she takes you up on your offer!

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  7. Not taking anything away from her acting, or the unfortunate events that have taken place about her recently - but I don't think it's that big a deal. Celebrities are the worst role models, no matter how talented or philanthropic they are.

    Great actress, very unfortunate, but Sandra Bullock or Hillary Clinton as role models for the common cuckquean, no way.

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  8. Some women find it easier to get over their husband having affairs than others. If Sandra is one of those women, good luck to her. Personally, I hope she sows a few wild oats with that man-ho Hugh Grant before taking him back.

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  9. I think the baby in the pic will eventually be in agreement of having his picture taken...

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  10. I think the letter is really cool and especially, very original! The baby is so cute ! Is Sandra really going back with Jesse??! Hope NOT!!

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  11. I am not a big Sandra fan, never have been. But I would be all for you babysitting for her. I bet she pays pretty well.

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  12. You published a very sympathetic and heartfelt letter.

    I'm also impressed that you admitted to almost going there but stopping yourself. Too bad more people don't know when to stop.

    We will see if Sandra and Jesse remain together -- or not.

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  13. If sandra doesn't follow that letter to a tee, she's a moron. Sadly I share a first name with scum in question. Oh well.

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  14. I was really annoyed at the way she was treated. What a piece of crap that Jesse James character is. Goes to show you it can happen to anyone -- like that crap that happened to the lovely Christie Brinkley. That was so sad. Men are such scum. Bravo for this post!

    Though, like Cheeseboy, I'm not a fan and skip her movies. It's the damn principal and I have nothing against her as a woman, just not into her type of films... I'm more of an indie movie fan. My movies usually have obscure actresses in them. Ha ha!

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  15. Cheeseboy, I just got off the phone with her, and Sandra cannot afford my babysitting rates. Damnit! I was so close! BTW, do you need a sitter? My rates are good.

    Oh well, Betty's right about his hair. I'd have no clue what to do with it. He'd look like Don King when Sandra picked him up.

    GB, that Hugh Grant-ho is equally disgusting. I vote for a more decent guy, but I can't think of any.

    Notesfromnadir, thank you! Thanks also for coming aboard. Great to meet you.

    CB, sorry about the shared name, but he's only got a bit of Jewish blood and is much more of a Nazi. Phew.

    Thanks Ally. I don't think she's done many high quality movies, except the last one.

    Thanks Sarah and Beth!

    Cheers,
    xoRobyn

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  16. sex addiction is a convenient copout. forgiveness is maturity--so i heard. btw, she was the other woman when she met jesse.

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  17. I agree with Sarah...sex addiction is a cop-out and something for these egotistic personalities to hide behind. Charlie Sheen...Tigar Woods...Jesse James. It's not sex addiction - its ego, power, opportunity and an abundance of willing women.

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  18. Damn, I'm almost a year older than she is. Damn.

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  19. I'm with you sister! Cannot stand when the media acts all aghast because the woman isn't being a "good" wife and "working on their marriage". Lat time I checked marriage vows didn't include a get out a jail free card.

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  20. Haha - great letter! Man, talk about bad timing. All that hard work and didnt get more than a day to enjoy her Oscar. She had longer to enjoy her Razzie.. lol...
    Though I do feel for these women, its kind of good to know that money and fame do not a happy life make...
    In the case of Elin at least, be careful what you wish for... though is it true that Sandra was once the 'other woman' too?

    Every silver lining has a cloud...

    ...

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  21. Wow, I didn't know that Sandra was once the other woman. That certainly changes my perspective (but I've already mailed this. Oh well). Perhaps that's why she's so ready to forgive. The baby looks pretty mad. I think he knows what's going on, or he's still upset about the bris. (They actually had a Jewish ritual/circumsicion for him). It keeps getting weirder!

    Cheers,
    xoRobyn

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  22. Oh, her little guy is so adorable! It almost makes me want to kickstart my biological clock (which seems to be getting rusty from disuse).

    I feel bad for her... As if infidelity and divorce aren't hard enough already, being in the eye of millions can only make this so much worse to deal with.

    I'll help you babysit!

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  23. Get in touch with her agent and send it!

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  24. I always liked Sandra. I really did. But after everything that has happened recently, she has become my most favorite woman in all of Hollywood. Screw that DJ or anyone else for saying that she should have seen this coming. She doesn't know exactly what was going on with her relationship. I know that I've been in a rough situation like that before myself and it's awesome to see her come out of it with such grace and strength.

    And that baby is the ultimate preciousness. I'm so thrilled for her!

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  25. I agree. Seriously time for her to move on.

    It's also time for her to move on from the "Romantic Comedy" scene as well... Did you see "All About Steve?" Yikes.

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  26. You've got a career waiting as Agony Auntie To The Stars. Go for it girl...

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  27. I can not think of a more likable, more down to earth star than Sandra Bullock....

    It's amazing that she's been able to keep her new baby a secret.... Having such a lovely young baby must help take her mind off the pain that Jesse has caused in her life....

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  28. Uber: Stars today - they never listen to me!

    Doc, I've actually only seen 2 of her movies. The first was some action movie; I don't even remember which one. The second was Miss Congeniality - very stupid. I agree she needs to get better gigs.

    While I do feel for her, she will be just fine. She's got bazillions of dollars, the world on her side, and a clearly devoted support network. She has no reason to take the bastard back. If she does, I won't be writing her anymore. So there.

    Thanks all.
    xoRobyn

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  29. I am absolutely positive she will read that and say 'wow, this YOUNG lady knows everything'... and then she will call you up to babysit for her ;0)

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  30. I hope she writes back...lol

    Damn bastard men making a bad name for us non-cheaters

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  31. great post! funny and good advice...

    I love her,
    he is a scumbag, but...
    I don't have any sympathy for her, or any celebs when it comes to their marriage problems. they know what they're getting in to. don't they?

    1. most celebrity relationships DO NOT WORK! 2. most celebrity marriages break up because of infidelity.
    3. most celebrities, although stars themselves, are nothing but star-*uckers.
    4. I guess nobody told Ms Bullock that it's okay to be attracted to bad boys, and even date them, BUT YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO MARRY THEM!!! especially a scumbag like him.
    5. didn't she know about his history? Didn't she know that his last wife was porn-star?

    sorry! don't know what got into me!

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  32. That whole situation with her is a mess. I think it's safe to say that she knew he was married to Janine the adult film star. It was announced everywhere when it happened. If I knew, she knew.

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  33. I think this may be my favorite Robyn post!
    2 years younger heee, heee...

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