Monday, December 12, 2016

Yosemite Sam & Sex, Me and Scorpio III

Dears,
While reviewing your comments, I uncovered some rage from Mr. Roy Dahlin. Seems he was a tad upset to be linked to my Doggydoodoo post when he instead researched Sonny Bono.
   Roy Dahlin For crying out loud, how the Hell does "Sonny Bono" turn up "waaahhh Donald Trump racist?" I am sick of Google hamfisting whiny brainless liberal BS into literally every damn search. Scooby Doo, John Wayne, and Yosemite Sam do not mean "waaaahhh republicans are racist Donald Trump racist teabaggers racist ted cruz racist waaaaaahhhh." There's more from Roy, including sweet details regarding bodily injury all liberal minded folks are due. Don't worry, his page reads "This is the end." And I certainly responded to Roy in my usual caring manner (see last comment here). What I really don't understand though . . .Yosemite Sam? With that loud proud orange facial hair and skin, a fetish for frenzied shooting at the -Hello!- Gray-White-mixed-hybrid-who's-thus-clearly-an-immigrant rabbit? Yosemite's NOT a racist? Poor Roy. He ain't the brightest twit in the hamfisted pig's punch. Is he?

 http://yosemitesamquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/Yosemite-Sam-Quotes-300x281.png
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Now, back to me and Scorpio

   I processed Scorpio’s words: "It feels so right." Feels so right. So right. It did. I caved.
   "D’you wanna go to my bedroom?"
   "Yeah." Thank goodness he answered correctly.
    Scorpio carried me to my bed, clothes lost along the way somehow, or were already lost. I don’t remember.
   "Sorry, the mattress is weird and lumpy," I explained, as if he was listening. "I’m in-between beds, getting a new frame. I thought it’d help us take things slow -" Kissing, stroking, and deep breathing ensued. "It’s awkward I know . . . " He worked at the goal. I rambled. "Sorry… mm, mmm." Scorpio made an attempt. Sh*t! It didn’t work. Why must I attract all the men in the world with penile incompetence? I’m so damn frustra-- Wait, I spoke, er thought, too soon. He’s in. Oh, oh, oh my, this is good. Really, really, who knew it could be so good? "Oh my God, Oh God, Oh my God." 
   The neighbors likely thought I’d just become Born Again. Again. And again. Again. Suffice it to say, especially for a man in his fifties, Scorpio greatly impressed and pleased me over and over that night. And again. Maybe I just needed a man with loads of speed in his system. The guy’s fast with relentless stamina. He was also generous, gentle, and in control. I couldn’t believe it.
   While I didn’t stop to set up the cameras, dears, I did get this photo at another time shortly thereafter. 

    After several hours of ecstatic loving, Scorpio sat up on his knees and pressed his arms down his meaty thighs as if to soothe them. "The only thing about me," he said, "I have Restless Leg Syndrome."
   "I’m sorry." I sat up with him. "What can I do honey?" I gently stroked his arm.
   "Nah nothing, I just need to drink more water. When I get like this, it’s worse if you touch me."
   "Oh okay." I dropped my arm. "It’s alright. I mean, that’s lousy. I know a couple that sleeps separately because he has a bad case of it."
   "Yeah, I need a hard surface."
   Um, okay. I, well, gave Scorpio a sheet and blanket to sleep away from me and in the living room. Then I fell asleep alone on our first night "together," my first night with someone else, but alone, in two years. In a couple, at last. (?)
 To be continued.

48 comments:

  1. Well, at least he was still there and didn't cut and run.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like your label for this post: "actual sex scene with a photo" -- YASS, GURL!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Woo Hoo.
    Fingers and toes crossed it continues.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Replies
    1. Thank you, fishducky. It's difficult to keep my comments short and ambiguous. Then again, I am short and ambiguous, so I'll just be myself.

      Be well.

      Delete
  5. Scorpio might be related to Willy Dunne Wooters, except for the restless leg thing. And it's all right. As your editor, I insist you quit the alright thing.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, hon. I went back to "alright." Didn't I? But it's dialogue and someone else (I forget who - or is it "whom"?) said that "alright" is "all right or alright." Right? All right, I'll try. Love ya.

      Delete
    2. I don't care if it's dialog. It's all right.

      Delete
    3. All right. All right. Just when I thought I'd learned the em dash, I forgot it. I'll work on all right. Or maybe I should use a different term, because I overuse alright/all right, right? Oy vey. Oyvey. No, it's oy vey. Love ya.

      Delete
    4. I'm always all right. Out of fear of not being right. LOL.

      Delete
    5. Thank you, Elizabeth. I'll never give up on Robyn.

      Delete
  6. well, okay then....I like this story. As long as the restless legs don't walk away, this is all sounding good. He needs to treat you right or he'll have your readers up in arms!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have restless leg and it can be very irksome to say the least but to go away no not come back??? I'm glad you had riotous sex and that he pleased you many times over. The sheets should be sweaty, off the mattress and you both have a silly grin. Now, massage does help restless leg and so does exercise. I take vitamins which, when I stop taking them, the restless legs return but if you have a hidden signal in the back of your neck trying to say something.....listen to it. I would talk to him about the restless leg and say that you don't want him to have to go to another room after hubba-hubba. Sorry if I'm looking at this a bit skeptical but I want the man in your life to stay with you or say, at least, to walk with him and massage his legs until he can sleep. It doesn't last all night.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very wise and thoughtful, Birgit. I very much appreciate your perspective. I agree too. There's something wrong about not making an attempt to sleep together; there are ways to address RLS. It's not as though we got married. Geeze. Smiles.

      Delete
  8. Well, this wasn't perfect but it turned out better than I'd imagined---maybe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. That is, it went better than I'd imagined. And we shall see...
      Thank you, Stephen.

      Delete
  9. Hmmmm.....that seems awfully suspicious. Why does there always have to be something?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right, Baby Sis!? And that something is never what you expect of something and something changes that something into another something that's bigger and worse than something you'd never expect of that something and so on.

      Delete
  10. Restless leg? I'm glad you'd heard of it before, Robyn, because you were so understanding when he wanted to decuddle. So pleased he gave you multiple pleasure - your description of them pleased me too!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I used to suffer with restless legs syndrome (or maybe it was Jerry who suffered while I had it). A lot worse for the person you're next to... especially in a rickety bed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It seems miserable. Surely, there's underlying anxiety - right? How can there not be? Anyway, I'm glad you no longer suffer from it, Mitchell.

      Delete
  12. Wow, that comment was grade A douchebag territory indeed.

    Well if you got a pic later there is sure more to come. Not sure how many times one can be born again lol some beds I just can't lie on either as I need a flat firm one. But compromise can come due. I throw blankets on the floor and bring her with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. A real man would bring her with him. Oops, did some foretelling, didn't I?

      Thanks for being the only one to comment on the grade A douchebag too, Pat Hatt.

      Delete
  13. He might need a little more potassium in his diet. Offer him a banana next time. No, not that banana...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. That was perfect, Diane! Thank you. That banana stays in a special place. Wink.

      Delete
  14. Is this about what I think it is? Remember, I'm only a boy of 67 and be patient. Will comment after I finish puberty.

    ReplyDelete
  15. That dude does realize that Yosemite Sam was the buffoonish bad guy, right? And what does Scooby Doo have to do with anything? Is he mad that Scooby was a skeptic who exposed supernatural-exploiting greedy capitalists?
    As for Scorpio, good for you both for being mature enough to sleep separately and not think it's a "sign of doom."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, PVP. I want to kick his tuchas for tossing Scooby Doo in the mix. Ww, rr, wweally?!
      And yeah, not a sign of doom, but a note to self. Not sure what was in that note, but it got filed. Thanks, PVP.

      Delete
  16. I think most of us could have figured out some kind of leg restraint system in order to spend the night cuddled with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. You always say the right things, Jono. Thank you.

      Delete
  17. You could have laid a blanket on the floor at the foot of your bed.... :). Yosemite Sam was always my favorite character and once I visited Yosemtie I knew why.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always hated Yosemite Sam but love Yosemite.
      Yeah, I just fell asleep and was fine with him leaving. I don't like to share my bed for sleeping purposes. =)

      Delete
  18. I'm happy for you, Robyn. Sounds like it went well for the most part. With regard to the RLS, perhaps he truly was looking out for you--not wanting to kick you and keep you awake. It's early, you've only known him a short while, perhaps this issue can be dealt with in another way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it was a bit embarrassing for him. I just tried not to make an issue of it at the time. Thanks, Connie.

      Delete
  19. Glad to hear you found a guy who keeps you entertained all right. hehe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, there's been some entertainment around here, Elizabeth.
      Thanks for dropping by.

      Delete
  20. I had to go back and check out Roy Dahlin's comments as I evidently missed it the first go round. People sure get stirred up about politics. Thought your answer was pretty funny.

    As for Scorpio...restless leg syndrome isn't helping you out in any good way. Still...as far as body parts that might be problematic let's be glad it's leg issues.

    ReplyDelete
  21. lol to Cheryl's last comment. Sounds like you have a little something-something going on in your life. I hope it's a happy thing for you... I mean besides the obvious. :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. I didn't know restless leg syndrome was so serious! My grandparents didn't sleep together because he punched people in his sleep. Restless fist syndrome?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can be really bad, Shoshanah. I imagine it's miserable having a bad case of it, but as others have pointed out, there are ways to treat/address it. That's funny (though I probably shouldn't laugh) about your grandparents and Restless Fist. Thanks for commenting.

      Delete
  23. Well, at least you got your hard surface first! Woo-hoo! Great sex, then he leaves you alone to sleep - Bed Conquest! Don't look a gift-horse in the mouth I say! Hope it goes the way you want it to Robyn. You deserve it!!
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, Anthony. I don't do well sharing my blankets and all. It's my space - go to your corner or leave. Smiles. Thank you. xo

      Delete
  24. How did I miss this important post? I had to go through your blog and see what didn't show up on my reader.

    Oh, steamy stuff... You should write erotic romance novels!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I went back to read Roy Dahlin's comments. He sounds a little upset :)
      Loved your response, says this Liberal snowflake :)

      Delete