Reasons for Celibacy 393-97, Scorpio Day 20

Dears,
I've five final reasons for celibacy this year. Next, the Scorpio saga continues.
I hope the holiday season finds you safe, warm, and with loved ones.
Take good care.
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Taken directly from on-line personal ads, here are reasons #393-97 for a smart, straight gal to remain celibate. And I'll take this opportunity to point out that Celibacy and Suburbia provides 250 rather interesting reasons. It's short, easy, and covered in chocolate - like the author. Wink.
bold font=actual ads. italics=my actual (versus fake) snark. Enjoy, friends.

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REASON #393: Am anice hard working respectfully man thats looking fo his nice lady wich is hard to find..

I can’t imagine why.

REASON #394: hi in just a regular guy nothing fancy.looking for a girl who takes care of herself and me. Keeps a nice home. can drink and party once in a while.in loyal and expect my girl to be the same.all I need is one good one....are you good enough?

hi in fancy in loyal cant drink once in a while not good regular enough.

REASON #395: If you want to play games get an Xbox!  

Dude, what do you have against Scrabble?

REASON #396: Intelegence is sexy.

That’s why you’re not, sweetie.

REASON #397: I do enjoy a good convo n also knoe how to keep one dont let the look decive u im a real awsome n out going person but thats on u if ur wilking to give urself that chance to get to knoe me !!!

Knoe thank you, I ain’t wilking!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~back to me and Scorpio
Day 20:
   Scorpio dropped by at 9pm as planned. "Good to see you, come on in." He looked a bit uneasy. "We can stay in if you want, hon," I told him. "But I thought it’d be fun to hear music at the 1078 Gallery. A couple of my friends are performing. D'you wanna go? We don't have to stay late."
   "No, well um," he mumbled and floundered, "Maybe you should just do your own thing on weekends."
   "What are you talking about?"
   "This is all about you." He started pacing around my living room. "You wouldn’t help me clean up my trailer or—"
   Utterly baffled, I sunk into my couch. "What are you talking about? You NEVER asked me to help clean your trailer. I’d be happy to. I'm always good for things like that."
   He turned away from me, confused, lethargic, or something. "You're you're holding me back."
   Whoa! "I’m holding you back!?" I stormed through the kitchen and opened my side door. I then rushed through the living room to open my front door. "Leave! If you think I’m holding you back, leave! I'm not forcing you to be with me."
   Scorpio sat on the loveseat and continued. "You’re a hypocrite. You get all crying and upset when I didn’t call you, and then you didn’t even call me by 8. Maybe you’re not ready for a relationship."
   I felt blood rush through my veins. "Look, I admitted that I was being passive-aggressive. I didn't want to scare you away. This isn't fair. Maybe YOU'RE not ready for a relationship. The doors are open." I pointed, one by one, to each door. "You're welcome to leave."
   He kept at it. "You told me you had a doughnut the other day. You’re a hypocrite."
   "Are you kidding me? You started joking about that stuff. We both did. I want us to live a long and healthy life together. What’s wrong with that?"

   After a while of tense, confused silence, Scorpio opened his arms. "Come here," he said. "I’m sorry I said all those things. I need to think about what I say before I say it. And never mind about the doughnut stuff. That was silly...You’re beautiful. I’m sorry."
   I approached Scorpio, leaned into his chest, and wanted to believe everything would be fine.

to be continued yet again.