It's December, so I'm going to mix in year-end sillies with my Scorpio story. Remember the cleaver guy? This was his dating ad headline: *Insert cleaverness here*. I responded: Okay. *Ward, I think you were too hard on the Beaver last night.*
The "thrushworthy" fellow was also in that batch.
A few of your stellar responses:
Just Keepin It
Real, Folks! These dudes clearly did not get the memo that
yesterday was the busiest day of the year for online dating. However, if you
don't half to look no more, go with a caped crusader 'cause thrush is nasty,
you might not wanna get down, and there was somethin' not quite right about
those Cleavers.
Elsie Amata
Reason #375: Are you sure it's not Norman Bates? "Coming, Mother!"
Alex J. Cavanaugh Like the last one, Robyn! Although you never want to be too hard on the beaver...
Alex J. Cavanaugh Like the last one, Robyn! Although you never want to be too hard on the beaver...
Birgit I think that Ward was
looking for his gril friend but may have ended up with thrush
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Me and Mr. Scorpio, II~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Good morn." I texted the next day. "Possible to resched 4 tmrrw?" I wasn’t ready to have my life taken off-course, as if one day would make all the difference.
"Thats fine," he wrote.
----
Scorpio drove towards a prime destination for hikers known as Upper Park in Chico’s glorious Bidwell Park. We gabbed like two besties who hadn’t seen each other in years, sweetened by a layer of I want you.
"To tell you the truth," I rambled, "I don’t want to rush things. When things start too fast, they end too fast, and I don’t have good luck. I mean I have rotten luck with men and I self-sabotage by sharing too much and I get angry, really angry and emotional, when I'm hurt and you don’t mind if I write about you, do you? . . . "
"No, that's what you do. When you cancelled yesterday, I thought 'What did I do wrong?' But then you checked in this morning, so it's all good. I had a big smile on my face since Friday night. People were like 'what's he so happy about?'. . ."
Fresh Fall air enticed us, as we shut the car doors. We chose a popular and semi-rigorous trail. Hand in hand, Scorpio and I worked our way down steep slopes of dirt and scattered shrubbery. Eventually, we settled into a soft sandy patch of earth. Scorpio opened his backpack and pulled out a box of crackers, small block of cheese, salami, and a pocket knife. We munched slowly, taking it all in. The sparkly, cool water – run-off from the Sacramento River – was livened by mini-waterfalls.
Interim kissing and gentle hugs landed amid his expressions of gratitude for having met me. I felt free and just plain 'ole happy. At the same time, yeah, what’s going to go wrong? Maybe nothing. Maybe he's a keeper. Right? And he's a good challenge. See, I’m a close-minded snob about education and job status (as if I, or anyone, has the right to be). Scorpio is neither a high level professional nor well educated. But he's bright and doesn't likely spell "college," "collage." Plus, he was a meth addict and terribly addicted years ago. I’m a good girl who never even touched a bubble gum cigarette.
"So what about tattoos?" I asked. "Am I the only one without a tattoo or drug history in this town?"
Yep. He confessed to having two, on the back of each shoulder. Kind of exciting; I’d never dated a tatted man before.
. . . Hours later, same day, on my cushy loveseat, he affectionately ran his fingers through wavy locks of hair along the side of my face. We kissed, and we kissed, and repeated the same.
"I know we should take it slow," I said softly. "I mean, I was determined to."
"It feels so right," he whispered.
That near climactic movie screen moment arrived: Will she see his tattoos? Will she see anything else? Will she take photos for you?
to be continued.
No photos, please!
ReplyDeleteWherever this goes, I hope you just relaxed and enjoyed yourself.
And thanks for including my lame comment.
Your comment was a good one, Alex!
ReplyDeleteFrom promising outset, I'm feeling frissons of doubt now. Thinking back on my single days, I recall avoiding dates who carried cleavers --likewise drivers who maintained emphatically,"Really, I'm a thrushworthy motorisht, Occifer...hic." I will definitely stay tuned for the full account.
ReplyDeleteYou think he'll go hard on the beaver, do you, Geo?
DeleteMy, but aren't you the tease! More MORE!
ReplyDeleteSo they say. More to come. No pun intended.
DeleteThank you, Stephen.
Photos of his tats? That's what you meant, right? Right?
ReplyDeleteYes. Of course. It actually is. Any other photos -if they exist- are for private indulgence.
DeleteI don't know, Robyn. I'd be okay with some steamy images :)
ReplyDeleteOf course I'm joking!
Okay, now here you are leaving us in suspense again...sheesh...
Sorry, Martha, but I'm keeping you posted as quickly as I can write this stuff. And post photos. Wink.
DeleteThanks for liking my comment! I'm. Goody two shoes(for the most part) and I fell for a man who never was into drugs but was in prison for 2 years, had a horrible childhood, never finished high school, has severe ADHD and, yet, he's the love of my life! We are together for 10 years and we had a fun time( enter the sex music) after 3 weeks of meeting one another. I had a "this is me, take it or leave it, let's have fun" attitude and let him do the work. Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteThat's right, Birgit. It's about character, not labels or any other nonsense. We've all been through stuff. You're even more goody two shoes than me - you waited 3 weeks. Good restraint, girlfriend. Let him do the work. Always. Smiles.
DeleteMore please. Shoulder-blade tatts are ok. Facial tatts I have difficulty with.
ReplyDeleteHowever it ends (and I am anxious on your behalf) it sounds as if you had a lovely day. Always welcome.
Facial and neck tatts? No. Sleeves? No. Scorpio's? Yes.
DeleteHmm, he sounds like an expert seducer. I don't blame you for falling into his arms, Robyn, but I'm a little concerned for you.
ReplyDeleteYou're sweet to be feeling protective of me, GB. I wish I had you around here to scare of prospective suitors and be my personal body guard. ;-)
Deleteso far, so good. I hope part III involves one big ...(fill in the blank) and I hope it's wonderful....fingers always crossed. And be careful!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joanne. Hope is good, and big, and...we'll see.
DeleteFrom here to eternity.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
What? I get no reply? All right, then. I'll reply to myself:
DeleteYes, Janie, it was as romantic and sexy as the beach scene in From Here to Eternity, but I didn't get sand in my woo-hoo.
I love tattoos! Thats just me though. My husband got his first tattoo after we married. I didnt make him- honest! LOL
ReplyDeleteI love the suspense.....
Some tatts are sexy. Usually, though, I think they're more of a turn-off.
DeleteI think I can do without pictures haha hopefully the "what will go wrong" hasn't crept in and you are both in the umm sin.
ReplyDeleteScorpio: "Uh, so, what's the video camera for, Robyn?"
ReplyDeleteYou: "Oh, just ignore that. It's for the blog. My fans love to feel like they're really here with me."
Looking forward to the next part of this 'ride'! Again, I'm pulling for a happy ending!
Haha, thanks Pat and BnB.
DeleteAll that blackmail money I could've made from him, with the footage. Hmm, perhaps I still can.
Ha! As if "she'll" share photos of his tattoos or anything else!!!
ReplyDeleteYou never know, Mitchell. *She* might surprise you.
DeleteOohhh Part 3 soon, then hopefully Parts 4-400!
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping it goes a different way, though it sounds a little like previous encounters? Perhaps its the way youve framed it? Hoping this is something different. At least you were candid up front. Awesomely brave.
Crossed fingers and other appendages! Er ...
xo
Perhaps it's very different and very similar. We shall see. Hey, uncross that ...;-)
Deletexo
Tattoo was my favorite character on "Fantasy Island."
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, he, like Gary Coleman, could not be reached for comment.
'splain to me. I mean le plane! le plane!
DeleteWhy must all the cute little men end up like Coleman?
Ooooh, be careful Robyn! He has been here before. I'm curious about a lot of things, but I'll try to confine it to the tatts.
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend. Where are you all when I'm in the moment? Actually, I will have a photo to share in the next post. xo
DeleteI am patiently waiting for the next installment but I am hoping and wishing that only good things are happening for you. (or to you for that matter) You deserve a "Mr. Right" after having put up with shitty Mr. Wrongs in the past.
ReplyDeleteI went back and read installment number one. I hate jumping in mid-story. This sounds promising. But it started in September and you're only just writing about it now. So, that means 1) it's on sure footing (yay!) or 2) it's crashed and burned spectacularly (and you're just now over it enough to share). I'm really hoping it's the the first one.
ReplyDeleteI hope you go slow and build something that lasts. My two cents. Of course, that won't even buy you a gumball.
I'm eager to hear part three. My fingers are crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteOhhh, next? I'm raring to read what happens next!
ReplyDeleteYour readers are always so hilarious!!
ReplyDeleteOH boy. I really hope this ends up okay, you deserve it! On to part 3....